My Austin kyūdō group doesn’t have a teacher; it never has. But we fall under the distant tutelage of a Japanese archery group based in Greenville, South Carolina. The South Carolina Kyūdō Renmei (or SCKR) is run by Blackwell-sensei, one of the most senior kyūdō teachers outside Japan, and his wife Reiko-sensei.

SCKR hold kyūdō seminars a couple times a year, which are attended by local South Carolina practitioners, Austin kyudoka, as well as people from all over North America.

Given my well-documented and very fundamental beginner struggles, I never attended a seminar. I didn’t want to take sensei’s time away from his many advanced students to deal with my remedial problems, and I didn’t want to waste an expensive trip if I wasn’t going to get the attention I need.

However, sensei offered to run a seminar just for us, only open to the comparatively junior members of Austin Kyūdō. It was an irresistible opportunity to get sensei’s help in a way that didn’t feel like I was imposing on other archers. So in September I joined ten other Austinites for a three-day kyūdō intensive.

And “intense” is the right word to describe my experience, from beginning to end. There’s way too much to be able to share it all, but I’ll do my best to briefly share the important parts of where I started, what I went through, some of the things I learned, and where I go from here.

The Honda Prelude

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O&P

Just two weeks before the seminar, I was ready to call off the trip and quit kyūdō entirely. After two and a half futile years enduring consistent failure in stoic silence, I had finally reached my breaking point.

While everyone around me – even complete first-timers! – demonstrated basic competence and increasing proficiency, I simply couldn’t successfully fire a bow without injuring myself or damaging equipment. My arrows would fly through the air sideways and clang off the practice target, or flop feebly to the ground only a few meters downrange. I broke strings, stripped the feathers from arrows, and bruised my forearm. And the months I’d spent trying dozens of different ways to correct it had all been for naught.

In the interest of moving on, I’ll leave it at that for now. But to get a better idea how frustrated I was, I’d encourage you to read the blogpost I wrote eight months ago, entitled “All the Gear and…”. Just take all the anguish in that post and amp it up to eleven.

Ironically, that week I had a promising insight: that I clenched the fingers of my right hand so tightly that they were interfering with my release. That didn’t solve all my problems, but it seemed like a clue: one piece of the puzzle. But I didn’t even have time to put it into practice before the seminar was upon us.

So that was my mental and emotional state going into the trip: off-the-scale frustration, extreme pessimism, and the only thing I wanted out of the seminar was for sensei to fix me… Although I was skeptical whether he would, or could.

It was – if you’ll excuse the pun – “my last shot” at being a kyūdō practitioner.

The Tyranny of Logistics

Bearing so much emotional distress, I wasn’t very tolerant of the usual discomforts of travel. Other than two trips between Pittsburgh and Austin when we were deciding where to move, I hadn’t flown in six years: since before the COVID-19 pandemic. And it was my first time flying Southwest Airlines, whose asinine unassigned seating policy makes boarding a complete free-for-all.

Things didn’t get a lot better once we arrived, either. I had to share a room with another person, which added some more stress. Not only were we going to prepare communal meals, but because no one had bothered to communicate with one another, sensei and his friends had also prepared meals for us too, which was yet another stressor for everyone.

Even the seminar provided some unexpected wrinkles. Sensei vetoed my use of the familiar bow I’d brought. I’d purchased some used zori sandals for outdoor use getting to the dojo and fetching arrows, but those promptly broke, necessitating a special trip to the store to buy replacements. And although the seminar was supposed to be for his Austin students only, we were sporadically joined by 5-10 local practitioners. Despite being able to use the dojo 365 days a year, they took shooting spaces and sensei’s time away from those of us who had traveled from far away for a precious 2½ days with him. And I have to admit I got frustrated by seeing other kyudoka improving much more rapidly than I did.

But the underlying message here is that the seminar was extremely mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. In addition to my already-charged emotional state, I was dealing with lack of sleep, poor and insufficient eating, muscle fatigue, dehydration, headaches and nausea, social stress, and of course the emotional rollercoaster of judging every shot I took.

It was, in short, an incredibly draining experience.

Nana Dan the Sensei

I’m gonna be honest: I felt a lot of trepidation going into my first experience with Blackwell-sensei. In speaking with my friends who had worked with him in the past, my preconception was of a teacher who was willfully terse, irritable, intolerant, and easily offended. But after telling their daunting stories, my friends would always add the postscript: “… but as long as you’re serious about kyūdō, he’s really great!”

During the seminar, Blackwell-sensei was actually very willing to give me the benefit of his time and instruction, and he patiently listened to my observations and needs. Despite my skepticism and obvious frustration, he was able to see the mistakes underlying my problems, and gave me clear strategies for correcting them. And he did so with patience and graciousness.

While fixing my issues will take lots more practice and reinforcement, my shooting did begin to improve by the end of the seminar, thanks to his valuable and generously-offered instruction.

Not that he isn’t surly and cantankerous and all that. But I think it shows up in his interactions with more experienced students, with whom he has higher expectations and more established relationships.

My Threefold Incompetence

So what exactly did I get out of the seminar? Well, there were lots of little, specific learnings, but those will be documented in my kyūdō notebook, rather than here. And as far as I was concerned, the only thing that really mattered was figuring out the cause of my constant misfires.

Over the course of the weekend, we identified three specific issues with my release. I’ll distill them down as briefly as possible.

First, my grip on the bow was incorrect, which was causing the string to slap my wrist and the bow to invert itself. Fixing it requires both holding the bow more loosely, plus making small changes in how my fingers configure themselves on the grip.

SKCR's kyūdō dojo

My second issue was what I’d identified just before the seminar: by locking my fingers around the string, they interfered with the string when I released it, causing the arrow to fire off-kilter, with very little power, and stripping some of the fletching. Ideally, I wouldn’t lock those fingers at all during my draw, but for the time being I’m simply trying to consciously loosen those fingers before I release the string.

I developed the habit of locking those fingers because the string was prematurely coming out of the groove it’s supposed to sit in within the glove. Sensei gave me several techniques to counteract this tendency during my draw, including: keeping my right hand flat; being careful to keep my thumb level or pointed up, rather than downward; making sure my right elbow comes down and back as I draw; not drawing the arrow all the way down to the chin; and not holding my full draw for very long.

Of course, there’s an immense difference between a conceptual understanding of what one has to fix versus actually physically performing it reliably each time one steps up to shoot. And because I’ve spent two years developing muscle memory of improper techniques, my attempts to correct my form feel completely unnatural and wrong. So even though I know what I should be doing, it’s going to take time and lots of practice to learn new habits.

The Fourth Problem

As chance would have it, our kyūdō trip coincided with two Zoom calls that I wanted to attend, both organized by Cambridge Insight Meditation Center, where I practiced meditation for 12 years, and which has been an important part of my growth for more than two decades. Saturday’s call was in honor of CIMC’s founding teacher, Larry Rosenberg, who is in his nineties and in poor health; and on Sunday we celebrated the 40th anniversary of CIMC’s founding. These were intensely moving for me, and featured several of my dear old friends. A shaved-headed version of Ornoth even showed up in the background in part of the “community reflections” video they shared!

The main reason why I mention these here is because those celebrations included poignant messages about looking at how one relates to the challenges and suffering that arise in one’s life, and to pay close attention to what one is attached to, especially ego-based ideas about who one is and how one wants other people see them.

The applicability of these ideas to my kyūdō practice couldn’t have been clearer, and really put the past couple years into perspective.

To clarify further, here’s a citation from a recent article in Lion’s Roar magazine that stated things rather well:

Often a problem at home or at work isn’t just troubling because of the surface issue that the problem is about. It’s what the problem makes us feel and think about ourselves that is disturbing. Taking the time to examine those feelings and thoughts using our meditative practices often shows us that we have some internal hook by which the external challenge has grabbed us.

[…]

Try answering this self-exploratory journal question: “What is the difference between the actual problem posed by my situation and my perception of and feelings about my situation?”

A neutral observer would see that there’s really nothing objectively painful about my kyūdō practice, other than maybe an occasional abrasion. The towering mountain of anguish I’ve endured is entirely due to the meaning I’ve attached to my practice, specifically my need to be seen as a competent – if not a skilled – archer, both in my own mind as well as in the estimation of others.

My need to be a skilled kyudoka was the source of a great deal of pain: that is the fourth problem with my archery practice.

I would free myself from an immense quantity of suffering if I were able to let go of that need, or at least hold it more lightly. Like changing my shooting technique, that’s easier said than done, but just having that mind-shift cleared some space for me to relate to myself and my struggles with more ease, more compassion, and hopefully a little more freedom.

Since my early days as a tech consultant, I’ve known that I don’t thrive in my “stretch zone”; I thrive in the “comfort zone”. I want to enjoy life as it comes, in accordance with my own values, without unnecessary effort or discomfort. I don’t understand people who fixate on personal growth, always striving for something more, wanting to leave their mark on the world. To me, that sounds like living in a perpetual hamster wheel: lots and lots of effort, achieving nothing of value. Or as Devo sings: “Toil is Stupid”.

I had an exchange with one of the senior kyudoka from South Carolina which was especially discouraging. He told me that he enjoyed having the younger Austin people visit, because they reminded him that practicing kyūdō could actually be fun. If enjoying kyūdō is an alien concept to such a longtime practitioner, that raises a big question about whether I even want to continue. What’s the point, if there is no enjoyment?

Kyūdō challenges my self-image, my attachment to how I am perceived by others, and the basic values I hold toward life. Hopefully I can work through those challenges and find a better way to relate to them, so that I don’t have to suffer as much as I have for the past two years.

Seeking the Target

So where do I stand?

Sensei actually gave me both hope and a number of specific changes that I can incorporate into my shooting technique. It would be logical to make a sincere effort to adopt his suggestions, to see whether they actually improve my shooting or not. That will take time and practice to prove out, but that’s an investment I’m willing to make.

I’m also willing to work on my relationship with kyūdō. It’s important that I learn how to let go of the frustration that comes with identifying as a competent archer, while at the same time asking myself whether kyūdō’s endless self-improvement treadmill is something I am able and willing to tolerate over the long term.

As such, I am not going to quit kyūdō… yet.

But at the same time, I am only suspending judgement long enough to work with sensei’s suggestions. Those changes might not help, and I might still decide that I can’t cope with kyūdō’s perpetual challenges and frustrations.

So we’ll see. The arrow’s journey continues, for the time being.

Since my March trip to Southeast Asia wasn’t enough travel, in May I spent a week in Tuscany, just outside Florence, Italy.

Long before Inna accepted a six-month work assignment in Malaysia, her not-too-far-flung immediate family held a small reunion in Washington DC. They enjoyed that gathering so much that they decided the only way to improve upon it would be to repeat it… in Italy! Thus plans were laid.

Villa South Exit

The villa driveway, lined with olive trees

Villa Southwest Side

Our villa and grapevines seen from the road

Villa South Side

The south side of our villa, with backdrop

Villa South Side

Arches and patio on the south side

Ornoth in Tuscany

I’m in a Tuscan villa!

Villa East Side

West side villa entrance

Villa North Side

North side patio & our bedroom

Inna & Ornoth @ Villa

Inna & Ornoth on the north patio

Tuscany Daybreak

Tuscan daybreak

Villa Bedroom View

View from our villa bedroom door

Villa Northwest View

More farm villas northwest of us

Villa Northeast View

To the northeast: hillsides

Villa East View

Villa east of us

Villa East View

Eastern villa framed

Villa South View

View south, toward the road

Italian Cypress Cones

Italian cypress cones

Pottery Gravel

Pottery gravel

A Poppy in the Road

A poppy in the road

Tuscan Flowering

Tuscan flowery

Stray Felis

Stray felis has something to say!

Understanding that I’m very much not a family person, Inna offered me the option of staying home. However, the closest I’ve ever gotten to Europe was a 2002 trip to Scotland, and it was also a chance for us to spend more time together in the middle of her long work assignment in Malaysia. Furthermore, Tuscany has a well-advertised reputation as a cycling paradise.

It even seemed like the right thing to do financially! I’d just closed my mother’s estate and received my share of her residual assets. She would have wanted me to use the money for something fun, rather than simply socking it away, and my using some of it on a trip to Europe would have pleased her. Though she would have raised a forbearing eyebrow at my earlier trip to Malaysia, Thailand, and Singapore!

Booking our flights was challenging. Back in March, Inna had obtained her tickets through her employer, piggy-backing an Italy stopover onto the end of a company-paid visit home from Kuala Lumpur. I purchased my flights separately a month later, which made it very difficult for us to travel together; more on that below.

When May rolled around, Inna came back to Pittsburgh for a brief but welcome stay at home before our departure for Florence.

Friday, May 11 2018

We had a relaxed day, with oddly-timed evening departures. I was booked on United 6015 from Pittsburgh to Dulles, leaving at 7:30pm. Inna’s Lufthansa flight 8797—also from Pittsburgh to Dulles—was scheduled to leave just ten minutes later.

Although convenient, having two flights ten minutes apart to the same destination seemed bizarre. So I looked into it when I checked in, and discovered that LH 8797 was just a codeshare with UA 6015. So although we were on different flight numbers, on different airlines, with different departure and arrival times, we were actually on the same flight!

Although Inna was out shopping at that time, I signed into the Lufthansa site under her name and changed her seat assignment so that we could sit together, which was a pleasant surprise.

We had dinner at an airport restaurant, where Inna had a veggie burger with real bacon: something she can’t get in Muslim Malaysia. I had pulled pork with jalapenos over french fries and two colas, which caused a lot of inopportune cramping on the brief flight to DC. Fortunately, I was distracted from my gastric distress by a Debbie Harry-lookalike stewardess, complete with platinum blonde hair, stiletto heels, and drugged-out demeanor. Once I had a love, and it was a gas…

We enjoyed the traditional people-crawler transfer at Dulles and noted the stark, outdated architecture, recalling that our friend Sheela’s father had helped construct the terminal buildings. Then it was time for the big intercontinental redeye from DC to Munich.

I’d known from the start that we would be together on this flight, and had booked myself a seat just across the aisle from Inna. However once we boarded, our goal was for me to swap seats with the person next to her. The guy was cheerfully willing, so we happily got to be together once more! It made the travel much easier for both of us.

Neither of us sleep well on planes, and that proved true again this time. And while we were in the air, not sleeping, we crossed over into:

Saturday, May 12 2018

A little after noon local time, we arrived in Munich. It was my first-ever landfall in continental Europe, and my new record for farthest travel to the east (having set new high-water marks south- and westward six weeks earlier). And upon entering the European Union, we each got a new piece of German “cheese” at immigration. I should mention that we call passport stamps “cheese” because it’s the little reward we traveling rodents seek at the end of the rat-maze of stanchions and rope cords.

The Munich airport was a wonderful experience. No televisions, no crowd-control music… even the people were quiet! So refreshing!

However, here Inna and I finally had to go separate ways. When I’d booked my travel, her 2:40pm flight had been full, so I was relegated to the subsequent flight, four hours later. At her gate, we learned that the guy I’d swapped seats with on our last flight was also headed to Florence. He and Inna struck up a conversation and boarded the bus to their flight; meanwhile I had something to take care of…

When we’d arrived in Munich, it hadn’t been clear whether we had to do the baggage claim-and-recheck shuffle upon entering the EU. We’d just skipped it, but having received “baggage exception” warnings by text message at both Dulles and Munich, I decided to ask an attendant what we should do. He said to exit the terminal and go to baggage claim, which I did. When our bags weren’t there, I went to the lost baggage counter, where a helpful woman told me that our bags would automatically be sent on to Florence. This was happily confirmed an hour later, when Inna landed and retrieved her bag.

Meanwhile, I went back through a security checkpoint into the terminal for my 7:05 departure. At the far end of an hour and a half flight to Florence, my bag jauntily popped out of the carousel, and I went outside to catch the rental car shuttle. I got no Italian “cheese” for travel within the EU.

I was a little wary of the car rental agency, since Inna’s sister and her boyfriend had just been declined by theirs. However, with my international driving permit in hand, my experience went smoothly. In a few minutes I was piloting a sizeable manual-transmission diesel Peugeot SUV onto the notoriously challenging streets of Italy, in the dark!

Fortunately, I’d downloaded offline data for Google Maps, and its directions were unambiguous and accurate. I made my way to the highway, negotiated an interchange onto the toll Autostrada, got to my local exit, and paid the toll in Euros I’d converted in Munich. But then I discovered the challenges of the Italian street network.

Oh my gawd! Ridiculously steep hillsides, blind turns every 300 meters, and roads rarely wide enough for a car and bicycle to pass, never mind two cars. In many places it’s so narrow that only one car can pass, and there are signs indicating whether cars approaching the bottleneck from one direction or the other have right of way! It reminded me of driving on Caribbean islands like St. John and St. Thomas. Although frequently maligned, I found Italian drivers predictable and safe; it’s the roads that are insane!

Eventually I found the right unmarked gate on the right tiny back road that led to the villa that Inna’s family had rented in Mezzomonte, halfway between the suburban towns of Impruneta and Grassina. At the end of a long gravel driveway between olive trees, I parked to find Inna, her mother, her father, her sister, and her sister’s boyfriend sitting outside on a terrace enjoying the evening.

After suitable greetings, I found the bedroom, unpacked, and settled in for a good night of sleep.

Sunday, May 13 2018

Everyone’s primary goal Sunday morning was to sleep off their jet lag, get settled, and stock up on groceries. That suited me, especially since I wanted my own cache of food and couldn’t rent a bike on Sunday.

When I got up, I noticed text messages from Inna’s sister, saying she and her father were leaving for the grocery. I quickly messaged back that I wanted to go with them, and wound up climbing up the hill to the gate to meet them as they waited.

They’d found a substantial grocery store in Grassina, where—after briefly trying to shop collaboratively with Inna’s foodie relatives—I strode off on my own and expeditiously got the things I needed for the week.

Back at the villa, Inna gave me a tour of the 15th century farm, which included a pool, several patios, two kitchens, a tower loft bedroom, and wood-fired bread oven. With a view over the olive trees and grape vines to the cascade of distant ridges and valleys beyond, it was picturesque and idyllic. Inna and I also appreciated the eclectic collection of foreign-language books, and the framed artwork mounted at cat’s-eye level!

We had an informal group lunch of pasta, accompanied by lots of linguistics talk that switched between Russian, Italian, English, and Spanish, with a little French, German, and Hebrew thrown in. Supper was boiled chickpeas and a tomato salad, thankfully accompanied by meatballs.

All told, a quiet day of getting settled and exploring the villa. The weather was surprisingly cool for Tuscany and partly cloudy.

Monday, May 13 2018

I got up and gathered some early-morning photos in a heavy overcast. I discovered that in such an ancient place, the gravel roads are nearly half comprised of old shards of broken pottery, so I collected a few interesting bits to take home as mementos.

Having purchased 72-hour tourist passes, the family all left for the first of three days in Florence. Having other plans, I made myself breakfast, then drove to a bike shop in nearby Falciani and rented a bike. I brought it home and took a short but effort-ful six-mile spin as a shakedown ride.

Rather than going into it here, I’ve put all the details about my cycling exploits into my Tuscany cycling blogpost on my cycling blog. Read that if you want more detail about my rental bike, rides, and impressions of Tuscany as a cycling destination.

While the family had dinner in Florence, I enjoyed having the villa to myself and making my own supper. When the family returned later that evening, they retreated directly to their respective rooms and climbed into bed.

Tuesday, May 15 2018

Inna decided to stay at the villa and spend Tuesday with me, while the others returned for another day in Florence. It was a quiet day with very English/European weather: heavy overcast, cool and breezy, with about 10 percent sun and 20 percent rain.

Inna and I made an afternoon trip to Impruneta, then off to neighboring Tavarnuzze to hit a small grocery, since Inna hadn’t come with us on Sunday. Pulling out of the parking spot, I scraped the side of the car against a plastic bollard. The barely-noticeable marks were just enough to evoke some added anxiety for the rest of the week, having heard rumors of Italian rental places aggressively charging foreigners for damages both new and pre-existing.

Wednesday, May 16 2018

Woke up to another day of cool rain and overcast. I had to agree with our friend Noah, who compared it to Oregon. Tho to be honest, my numerous trips to the Pacific Northwest have all been graced by better weather than we had in Tuscany.

Everyone set off for a final day in Florence. Although I had little faith in the weather, I decided to attempt a modest 27-mile ride. I experienced missed turns, pouring rain, closed roads, and the route I’d downloaded from the bike shop went off-road onto impassable farm paths. I abandoned the bike shop’s route and proceeded on busier but well-paved primary roads. You can read more about the ride in my Tuscany cycling blogpost.

After returning to the villa, I made myself another chicken dinner, making best use of the villa’s limited spice selection. The family, after having difficulty with their car’s headlights the night before, got home early and made pasta carbonara for dinner, which I sampled and enjoyed, despite having eaten already.

Thursday, May 17 2018

Having exhausted their tourist passes, Inna’s sister and father took off and explored historic San Gimignano, while the others stayed at home and rested.

One of the things I’d most looked forward to was spending a day at the Giro d’Italia, a major three-week professional cycling stage race, the Italian sister event to the Tour de France. Stage 12 finished in Imola on Thursday, two hours’ drive each way, which was as close as it would come to Florence.

However, at the exact same time as the Giro stage finish in Imola, online registration was going to open for a meditation retreat that I absolutely wanted to get into. Ironically, while meditation retreats are a haven of silence and peace, they’re also in high demand, so the registration process can be as competitive and frenetic as trying to secure tickets to a Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin concert. If I wanted to get in, I had to be online when registration opened.

There was no way to do both, and in the end I stayed home and registered for the retreat, missing the Giro in much the same way as I’d missed the Tour de Langkawi professional bike race during my recent visit to Malaysia.

In addition, I wanted to get one last bike ride in on Thursday, because I had to return the rental the next morning. Although I’d hoped to get at least one long ride in, I had to be back at the villa by 3pm to register for the retreat.

So I set out for a short ride down into the Chianti region and back, this time following only primary roads. When the clouds opened up and poured on me again, I was glad I hadn’t planned anything more ambitious. Again, more details in the Tuscany cycling blogpost.

Supper was more pasta with the family, then a round of an Italian “spaghetti western” game called “Bang!”, followed by a silly Russian game called “Privyet Valyet”.

Friday, May 18 2018

After breakfast and a group photo, the family set off to visit Siena. I would have eagerly tagged along and checked out the Torre del Mangia—the inspiration for Boston’s Pine Street Inn and Provincetown’s Pilgrim Monument—but I had to return the bike to the rental shop. While out, I saw numerous cyclists out on the roads, enjoying what wound up being the first warm, sunny day since we’d arrived.

Back at the villa, I ran a load of laundry, checked into my flights back to Pittsburgh, and tried to eat as many of the leftover groceries as I could.

When everyone came home, a stray tuxedo cat who’d been hanging around the neighborhood showed up, so I hustled Inna outside, where she made a new friend.

The villa’s guest book advertised lots of local sights and services, and Inna’s father and sister had secretly contracted to have a recommended local chef come to the villa and prepare dinner on our last night at the villa as a surprise offering for Inna’s imminent birthday.

The menu included eggplant, gnocchi, chicken, zucchini, and ricotta. The more culinarily adventurous enjoyed it, although it was difficult for me. I would rather have selected my own food, especially right before a 21-hour journey.

Saturday, May 19 2018

For the first time in a week, the morning of our departure provided a sunny, cloudless sky, and temperatures well into the 70s.

After final packing and loading up the car, we went downstairs to the owner’s patio for a light breakfast. Inna and I had to leave for the airport at 10am, so we said our goodbyes to everyone else, as they would later drive up to Venice to spend another day or two.

Despite missing the on-ramp for the Autostrade, Inna and I got into town, returned the rental car, hopped the shuttle, and got to the airport in reasonable time. At baggage check, I got stuck behind five American girls (exchange students) and their 15 pieces of luggage, and noted that in the line and throughout the airport the population was a solid 75 percent female.

My flight (to Pittsburgh via Frankfurt and Chicago) was at 1pm, but Inna’s (to Kuala Lumpur via Amsterdam) wasn’t until 5. Because it was too early to check her bag, she was unable go through security to see me off, so we said our goodbyes and I continued to my gate, while she killed time on her own. It’ll be another 2-3 months before I see her again.

After another bus-to-the-plane and boarding, I was seated in the middle of thirty of those American girls heading home. But I did enjoy when the Lufthansa stewardess offered, “Haben sie ein schön und schnell pflug.”

90 minutes to Frankfurt, where I got my EU exit visa stamp and boarded the long 9-hour flight to O’Hare. I think it was my first time in a 747, and I wasn’t looking forward to it, since I’d had to take an internal middle seat, rather than my usual window. I was surprised to find that I was seated in a bulkhead row, and that I’d booked a “premium economy” seat, which was a noticeable upgrade from cattle car. So although I couldn’t sleep, the flight was tolerably uncomfortable…

… except for landing behind schedule, which was the beginning of O’Hare Airport Hell. Our late arrival ate 30 minutes out of my 2-hour layover, followed by an extended delay getting off the 747. I fast-walked to customs only to see a line of people waiting. Huh, a long line. No, a fucking unbelievable line! A line—with no exaggeration— two or three people wide, the length of two football fields. So much for my connection!

Somehow, the line started moving, and I eventually got through customs and immigration. From there it was all lightning-sprint through baggage claim, baggage re-check, the inter-terminal tram, through Concourse B, and the underground moving walks to Concourse C. As I reached my gate, they were boarding the last stragglers of Boarding Group 4, and I was the fourth-to-last person to board.

It was ironic that with a two-hour layover I’d barely made my connection, while we’d been very concerned about Inna having less than 90 minutes to make her connection in Amsterdam, which she made quite comfortably. But at least I made it!

The short flight to Pittsburgh was my 16th flight in the past 6 weeks, and six of those flights have been longer than 7 hours; so I was extremely happy to finally be headed home! The only remaining question was whether my checked bag was coming home, too.

To my relief, my bag was the second one out of the baggage claim carousel, proudly bearing a big orange and black “Express Connection” sticker. It being shortly after midnight local time, I was eager to get home and crash. I hopped in the car, blitzed home, greeted a very affectionate house tiger, and climbed into bed at 1am. Inna was still in the air, with 2 hours left before landing on the opposite side of the planet, followed by an hour cab ride.

Overall

With certain caveats, it was a nice trip. Our villa was exquisite and serene, with a beautiful view overlooking vineyards, fields of olive trees, and wooded Apennine ridges. The villages were full of character and charm, and the roads scenic and pleasant. I got to spend more time with Inna, while also doing the things I preferred, like exploring the area by bike. Rather than hustling through museums and restaurants and tourist meccas, I prefer luxuriating in the natural environment and intimately experiencing the countryside.

Tuscany: whether you are into cycling, art, history, architecture, or food, it’s supposed to be amazing. But with such a lofty reputation preceding it, I expected a lot, and wound up disappointed in ways that are important to me.

The weather obviously wasn’t what I’d been led to expect from Italy. The days of cold rain—which the bike shop owner described as “terrible”—severely curtailed how much I could ride, and diminished my enjoyment of what riding I did do. That might not seem like a big loss to some people, but as a cyclist it was a primary goal of my trip, which I reserved several days for.

The other cause of disappointment was the coincidental timing of the nearest Giro d’Itala stage, the opening of registration for my meditation retreat, my desire to do a long ride, the family’s expedition to Siena, and having to return the bike early on Friday. Sadly, registering for the retreat and returning the bike on time were the least interesting but most important options in that list.

While Tuscany didn’t live up to its reputation or my own expectations, it was still a worthwhile and enjoyable trip, especially for Inna, whose perspective you can get here. Despite Tuscany’s allure and reputation as a cycling paradise, after a succession of cold, wet rides, I was glad to get back home to Pittsburgh, where it’s warm and sunny at least part of the time!

Villa South Side Pano

Panorama of our villa, looking north over the hills

Malaysia

Apr. 30th, 2018 12:08 pm

Visiting Southeast Asia has always been on my bucket list. Fanatsizing about going maybe someday was easy; but I’ve never had the courage and initiative to start making it happen. So when Inna agreed to a (minimum) six-month work assignment in Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia), I had to make the most of the opportunity and visit her there. And so the trip was planned.

In the end, I wound up going for two weeks in the middle of March, spending four days in Malaysia, three days in Singapore, three more days in Thailand, and the equivalent of four full days flying there and back.

This post covers those travel days and my time in Malaysia. It’s the wrapper story that surrounds followup posts about the weekends we spent in Singapore (here) and Thailand here, which warranted their own separate writeups. Doing that splits my trip report into three digestible, reader-friendly sections, and lets me organize and post more photos from each of those adventures.

But first things first: Malaysia!

Wednesday, 14 March 2018

Kicked off the trip with two Facebook status updates. Since I’d be spending all of 3-14 (aka Pi Day) flying, I made a universally underappreciated comment about spending “pi in the sky”. But I also dredged up a pertinent quotation from Led Zeppelin’s classic “Ramble On”:

Now’s the time, the time is now to sing my song.
I’m goin’ round the world—I got to find my girl.
On my way…

With Inna at Suria & Petronas Towers

With Inna at Suria Mall & Petronas Towers

Petronas Tower from Somerset Roof Pool

Selfie at Somerset Roof Pool with Petronas Tower

Petronas Tower from Somerset Ampang

Petronas Tower from Somerset Ampang

Somerset Ampang from Petronas Towers

Somerset Ampang Roof Pool from Petronas Tower

Petronas Towers

Petronas Towers from KLCC

Petronas Towers

Petronas Towers from KLCC

Petronas Tower 1 Top

Petronas Tower 1 Top from Tower 2

Kuala Lumpur Panorama

Big Kuala Lumpur Panorama

Full Malaysia Photoset

The drive to Pittsburgh’s airport was uneventful other than dealing with freezing temperatures and snow showers. My flight to Chicago’s O’Hare was delayed half an hour due to a broken headset and the need for de-icing. On our final approach to O’Hare, we flew for miles next to another jet that landed seconds before us on a parallel runway. Conveniently, my flight from Chicago to Tokyo had also been delayed 40 minutes because the plane hadn’t arrived.

It’s funny how much can transpire on a 13-hour flight. I stayed awake in order to sync my sleep pattern up with Kuala Lumpur, which is exactly 12 hours off from Pittsburgh time. I kept an eye out for aurorae, which were active following a solar storm, but I saw none. Flying All-Nippon Airways (ANA), I tried the Japanese version of curried rice for the first time, and cold noodles in a light sauce. I had a brief scare when I lost my reading glasses on the floor in a fully-darkened cabin. But the highlight of the flight was getting a fabulous nighttime shot of the lights of snow- and ice-bound Nome, Alaska from 34,000 feet.

Jumping the Date Line requires a new timestamp, so:

Thursday, 15 March 2018

After doing the Date Line time warp, I arrived in Tokyo late Thursday night. It was my second time in Asia, and the first since a work assignment in Seoul in 2008. Back then, my connections were also in Tokyo, although this transfer was at Haneda, rather than Narita. I arrived to lots of Facebook Likes and a welcome exchange of messages with Inna.

It was an easy process—but a long walk—to my next gate, where I charged my devices and did a little exploring. My most noteworthy observation: to alert oblivious pedestrians that something’s behind them, instead of mechanistic beeping, the little terminal golf-carts at Haneda play the tune of Disney’s “Heigh-Ho” song from Snow White.

My third flight of the “day” took off just after midnight, which means another date stamp:

Friday, 16 March 2018

Another eight uncomfortable hours in flight.

Having gone sleepless for more than 40 hours, I was unhappy and barely functional. One highlight was flying over the Philippine island of Palawan, although I was on the wrong side of the plane to see it.

At the end of my three-day flying ordeal, we finally approached Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA). But as we were about to touch down, the pilot gunned the engines, climbed, and performed a complete go-around for another try at landing. I couldn’t make out the explanation they offered, but I think they mentioned the control tower. Kind of disconcerting.

After de-planing, the first stop was customs and immigration, where I garnered my first “cheese”: our shorthand term for the reward at the end of the long lines. One of my goals for this trip was to accrue some new passport stamps to join the lonely one from Mexico back in 2010 before my current passport expires. Happily, I received a Malaysian entry stamp, then found my luggage, bought me some Malaysian ringgits and a prepaid taxi voucher, and hopped a cab.

Obviously, Malaysia is a foreign place to me, and it’s also a Muslim country, so I was primed for things to be different. This was most apparent when I noted that every announcement over the airport PA ended with the phrase: “… and have a Happy Jenni”. I was surprised that I’d apparently landed in the middle of some kind of major holiday, whatever “Jenni” was. But eventually Inna and I figured out that it was just an odd pronunciation of what they were really saying: “Have a happy journey”!

That was followed by an hour-long taxi ride from the suburban airport to the heart of KL’s business district and Inna’s hotel: the Somerset Ampang. After leaving a snowy Pittsburgh, I reveled in the humid, tropical heat and the sight of lush hills full of palm trees. Having landed at 7am Friday morning, Inna had just begun her normal workday, so after getting into her empty suite I unpacked, tested out the roof pool on the 22nd floor, then enjoyed a long-anticipated shower. From the pool, I could see one of KL’s two Petronas Towers, knowing my baby was working right over there, on the 75th floor.

Having worked a half day, Inna came home around 4pm. It was the first time I’d seen her in two months, and it was a nice reunion, although by then I was staggering due to sleep deprivation. She kindly guided me through dinner (teriyaki chicken) at the hotel restaurant (Souled Out). After 50 hours without sleep, I finally collapsed into bed, while Inna stayed up and conscientiously booked our last-minute flights and hotel in Singapore. I’m grateful for her help, because I was in no condition to execute, and without her diligence, my trip would have been a lot less eventful and memorable.

The next morning, less than 24 hours after I landed, I was back at KLIA where Inna and I hopped another flight to Singapore. We explored the town on Sunday and returned to KL Monday night. We had an amazing time, but the events of that side trip will all be related in a separate blog post devoted to that weekend in Singapore.


Tuesday, 20 March 2018

Having returned to Kuala Lumpur Monday night from our long weekend in Singapore, Tuesday morning Inna returned to work at her office in the Petronas Towers. While she engaged in a regular work week, I had the rest of the weekdays to myself.

After spending two days flying to Asia, followed by the weekend’s side trip, I was still exhausted. My Tuesday plan was to relax all morning, catch up on my email and web reading, and hit a grocery to get some foodstuffs.

In what would become my daily ritual, I went up to the roof pool around 10am for a leisurely swim and some early sunbeams, then came back down to shower. Although on Tuesday I tried out Inna’s window-side jumbo-size tub, which I mostly fit into. In the afternoon, I scampered across a major intersection to the nearest grocery-esque store and stocked up on fluids and snack foods, including a knockoff-brand Pringles potato chip in “green curry” flavor… not recommended!

After work, Inna took me to Pavilion, one of KL’s many malls, to have dinner at Wild Honey, her favorite breakfast place (yup, pancakes and sausages for dinner), then ice cream at Baskin Robbins, and an interesting dollar store called Daiso Japan. While I enjoyed the shopping, that part of KL is all huge malls populated with international luxury brands, and I’d hoped for something with more local flavor.

We were back home and in bed before the equinox hit at 15 minutes past midnight.

Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Wednesday was accidentally another rest day. After seeing Inna off, I had my swim and did more catching up online. While I was enjoying 90-degree Equatorial warmth, Pittsburgh had received ten inches of snow, with temperatures in the 20s and 30s: far below climate normals for late March. So sad!

I planned to hop a 2pm shuttle, do some more shopping, and then visit Inna at work, but she let me know that she was going to be working in a locked room, isolated and without communication, until at least 5:30pm, so at the last minute I decided to punt. In the end, I just hung around the hotel, relaxing.

Although I’d originally hoped to catch the Tour de Langkawi—a professional bike race—the following weekend, Inna counter-proposed flying to Thailand and playing with tigers, something she’d discovered from a coworker. It was ridiculous how stoked she was about playing with big cats, and I definitely wanted to share that experience with her. So later that evening Inna booked our tickets for Phuket. We were both very excited.

Thursday, 22 March 2018

The next morning, in addition to my obligatory morning swim and sun, I did a load of laundry. It was my first time using a combined washer-dryer unit, and it was fine, other than the inconvenient 5-hour cycle time.

Hoping to execute my aborted plan from the day before, I grabbed my dSLR and walked through the KLCC Park that stood between our hotel and the Petronas Towers. I took my time, finding ample places to compose photos of the iconic buildings.

Of course, there’s a mall (called Suriya) at the foot of the towers, so I made my way to my shopping target: a Japanese bookstore called Kinokuniya. I browsed the cycling and extensive manga collections, but in the end I gravitated toward the section on Buddhism. I found many familiar books on vipassana by authors that included my teacher Larry Rosenberg, Gil Fronsdal, Ajahn Brahm, Goenka-ji, Jack Kornfield, Tara Brach, Sylvia Boorstein, Sharon Salzberg, Ajahn Sumedo, and others. In the end, I picked up three titles: “Bear Awareness: Questions and Answers on Taming Your Wild Mind” by favorite teacher Ajahn Brahm; “Vipassana Meditation as Taught by S. N. Goenka” by his student William Hart, and “Buddhist Ethics” by Hammalawa Saddhatissa.

After finding nothing else of interest in the mall, I met up with Inna, who got me free visitor access to the tower and took me up to her working space on the 75th floor (of 88). There I met several of her coworkers and clients, took a few panoramic photos of the KL skyline, and hung around until Inna was ready to leave.

From there, we had dinner at Ben’s, a restaurant in the Suriya mall, where I had yet another pasta carbonara. Despite Southeast Asia’s reputation as a culinary destination, I didn’t find anything special to recommend it. But the couch was comfy, and we had a nice view of the evening light show in the fountain between the towers and the park.

Inna’s coworkers pinged about going out for drinks, but, already eating, we demurred. However, on our way out of the mall, she spied a couple friends on the escalator. After we lost them on their descent, one of them (Freddy) tracked us down. He graciously took a couple photos of Inna and I in front of the fountain lights, and the three of us hung out for one round of drinks before he ambled off toward Jalan Petaling, one of KL’s Chinatowns, while Inna and I caught a quick cab home.

Friday, 23 March 2018

With more air travel scheduled for Saturday, I declared Friday another rest day. After my swim, I had lunch at the hotel restaurant, got a few hotel errands done, and tried to nap.

Inna went out with her coworkers after work, so I just hung out. When she finally came home, she stayed up late booking her flights for a May trip home, which will be followed by a family reunion in Florence, and then back to KL.

The next day we would hop a plane to continue our adventure with a long weekend in Phuket, again returning Monday evening. You can read about that side trip in my Thailand blogpost.


Tuesday, 27 March 2018

I had a mere 12 hours between returning to KL Monday night from our long weekend in Phuket, Thailand, and my departure flight back home the next morning.

I roused myself at 4am Tuesday to say goodbye to Inna, then slipped out into a rainy morning. After a long, characteristically pensive cab ride to KLIA, I quickly got through customs, acquired my third Malaysian exit visa stamp, hopped the Pittsburgh-like train between the landside and airside terminal buildings, and waited for my flight to Tokyo.

On board, I couldn’t sleep, and instead composed an email to Inna with thoughts about our visit. Seven hours later, landing this time at Narita airport, I was pleasantly surprised to see the runway lined with sakura: cherry trees in blossom, a favorite symbol of Japan. While waiting for my next flight, the Japanese televisions showed news reports about the progress of the cherry blossoms, rightfully a matter of national import.

Two hours later, while boarding my flight to O’Hare, my seatmates asked me if I would move to another row so they could co-parent their screaming progeny. Citing a 36-hour journey, I outright refused, unless they could provide me a window seat with a bulkhead I could lean against to sleep. Even for Buddhists, compassion for others is no more important than self-compassion. They eventually found someone who would switch; that person took only the aisle seat in my row, which left the middle seat unoccupied! What a blessing on a 12-hour flight!

I’d need every possible chance for sleep, because their breeding experiment wailed like an ambulance, accompanied by coughing fits from a handful of passengers who sounded 87 percent dead from tuberculosis. Unable to sleep, my fortitude was down to zero when we finally reached O’Hare.

In Chicago, I had to go through immigration and customs, re-check my bag, take a train between terminals, and pass through another security checkpoint. Fortunately, I had a three-hour layover, and managed it easily. I found myself dangerously wobbly and close to passing out, even after downing a small pizza. After more than 24 hours without sleep, I was back in the sleep deprivation zone, and desperately needed to get myself home and in bed.

Happily, the flight from Chicago to Pittsburgh was short and quiet, and my checked luggage was spat out onto the conveyor just as I approached the carousel. I dragged my bags out to the car, loaded myself up, and drove home to an enthusiastic reception from a very lonely—but something short of tiger-sized—cat.

Malaysia wasn’t quite what I expected. Before I left, my biggest concern was that Malaysia, as a strongly Muslim nation, complete with calls to prayer broadcast over loudspeakers, would feel extremely alien. But what I found was a surprisingly diverse, cosmopolitan society.

English might not be the primary language amongst Malays, but it’s present. They use the English alphabet, so (unlike Thailand) you can eventually learn Malay words by reading them. But if you rely on English, be aware that their spelling is idiosyncratic if not downright creative. You might figure out how to get to the universiti or a katedral or the sentral rail station. Or you can catch a bas or a teksi to the konvensyen center or the muzium of tekstil. Or relax at the rekreasi park or the golf kelab, which is in another seksyen of town. And make sure you ask for extra sos for your food.

Having found itself awash with oil money, Malaysia shows the inefficiencies of rapid growth, with a melange of modern high-rises displacing dilapidated and uninspired neighborhoods that had themselves only recently overtaken outright jungle. It’s an ethnically and economically segregated society, and what I saw of it—mostly downtown malls—lacked any connection to its history or locality.

To be fair though, I did a poor job exploring KL, lacking the time or motivation to venture beyond the bland, characterless malls and the immediate temptation of our hotel roof pool.

Epilogue

Having been through the details in this and subsequent blogposts, let’s take a step back and review the big picture.

I’m particularly challenged by international travel, or more properly not knowing the local language. That wasn’t a major factor, as there was plenty of English in use.

Despite that trepidation, I’m delighted to have added nine new pieces of “cheese” to my passport: three pairs of Malaysia entry and exit visas, another pair from Thailand, and an entry stamp (only) for Singapore. Plus two connections on the ground in Tokyo, as well. Great success!

Beyond that, I set new records for the farthest I’ve traveled south and west. I somehow survived ten flights totaling 22,000 miles and 50 hours in the air, plus uncounted hours of the usual airport runarounds. And despite all that travel, I happily didn’t contract any illnesses.

On the other hand, because I couldn’t sleep, each transcontinental flight amounted to staying awake for two consecutive all-nighters. Doing that twice in two weeks would be a major trial, even for someone half my age! Although I was nearly delirious due to sleep deprivation, not sleeping did make it easier to deal with jet lag, despite the 12-hour difference meaning daytime was suddenly night and nighttime suddenly was day.

Contrary to the warnings I was given, I found it much easier traveling east, because I got home in the evening and could immediately collapse in bed, whereas on my outbound trip, I had arrived at 7am and had a whole day ahead of me before I could (or should) go to sleep.

With only four days in KL, and three each in Singapore and Phuket, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t have the chance to do any biking, or visit more than one Buddhist vihara, and little local food or shopping. I’ve been spoiled by my trips to Scotland and St. Thomas, where I had weeks—if not months—to explore and get to know my destination, which I vastly prefer. With Inna based in KL, I should have devoted more than two weeks, but I’d been a little apprehensive, and didn’t want to distract her from work, either.

Of course, that was all balanced by the wonders we did experience, such as Singapore’s Gardens By The Bay, Phuket’s Tiger Kingdom, and swimming in the Andaman Sea. I have some amazing photos and memories that I’ll always treasure.

And I enjoyed swimming in the hotel roof pools each morning. Though I felt a little awkward doing so, the epitome of the idle rich white man. After all, I had nothing better to do than travel from snowy Pittsburgh to Southeast Asia to lie around all day and absorb the equatorial sun while everyone else was working their mundane day jobs. Coming from middle-class roots, I’m just not comfortable with the idea of such conspicuous self-indulgence.

Beyond the passport stamps, the tropical sun, and the exotic sights, the main reason behind my trip was spending time with Inna, seeing how she was making out, and doing what I could to relieve some of the familiar stress that comes with working abroad.

Fortunately, over the weeks and months, Inna has gotten comfortable with her clients and confident in her role and what’s expected of her. So many elements of her project remind me of my half-year deployment in St. Thomas, which was strenuous, amazing, and absolutely off-the-charts ridiculous. The day she left Pittsburgh, I wrote that “I’m incredibly proud of her career progress”, and three months later, that sense of pride has only increased. She’s been kicking ass, and it’s awesome to see.

I’m surprised that despite the equatorial heat, Inna has taken to Kuala Lumpur, to the extent that she might be open to extending her stay. I will, of course, be very interested in how that question resolves itself in coming months.

Continuing the topic of stress, this trip was a test for Inna and I, and our ability to work together under challenging conditions. We made it harder for ourselves by not discussing our plans for our two weekends until the absolute last minute. I’m particularly thankful for her willingness to handle the arrangements for Singapore and Phuket while I was comatose in bed trying to catch up on sleep.

As with any partnership, we each had our moments of difficulty and irritability to work through, but in the end we made a great team, helped one another out, achieved most of what we wanted to do, and built an immense pile of memories together that we can share and cherish.

I don’t like her living on the opposite side of the planet, but it did afford me the opportunity and the impetus for a once in a lifetime trip: one I’d dreamed about for years. I’m glad to have taken that rare opportunity, and to have shared such a memorable experience with the woman I love.

Having read this through, if you’re interested, here are links to more images and text about my trip.

Prologue

There are times in life when you get the lightest taste of something, and you know it's important. You see a person and you know your fates are intertwined. You see a place from afar and you know that someday you'll be there.

This particular story begins nearly six years ago. In January of 2008, my employer sent a handful of us to the Caribbean to work for a client in St. Thomas. On our first flight down, my coworker Eric and I flew to San Juan and took a tiny Cessna for the 60-mile hop to St. Thomas.

Halfway through that flight, we passed over a tiny island dominated by a large crescent cove and the most breathtaking beach I've ever seen, backed by a large lagoon. Three more huge stretches of empty sand revealed themselves as we continued to fly eastward. Instantly intrigued, I whipped out my camera and got a quick shot of it as we flew past.

Even while working in tropical St. Thomas, I did the research to learn that the island was called Culebra and the beach was Flamenco Beach: consistently rated as one of the best and most exotic beaches in the entire world. It was ranked number one in Travel & Leisure magazine's World's Best Islands 2013, and at the top of Travelust's Little Known Dream Islands.

In addition to St. Thomas, during my six months in the US Virgin Islands we visited St. John, plus the British Virgin Islands of Tortola, Jost Van Dyke, and Virgin Gorda. However, despite being only 20 miles away, we never stopped at Culebra, which like Vieques is formally part of Puerto Rico. But that image of a huge sandy crescent remained with me. I knew I'd go back; I just had no idea when.

Fast forward a half dozen years, as I sat with an impending milestone birthday. I wanted to do something special to commemorate my 50th year. Something really memorable and meaningful that I would treasure for the rest of my life.

The answer was obvious: I was going to Culebra!

The island is just seven miles long and three miles wide. That's about the same size as three of Boston's Logan airports. The entire population is 1800 people. Although the island does a good tourist business, it's too remote to support any big hotels or tourist industry; the entire inventory of guest rooms is "a few hundred", and many visitors simply camp out on Flamenco Beach.

Part of the reason the tourist trade is so modest is because it's really hard to get to. If you don't have your own boat, you have to take an on-again off-again ferry from a far corner of Puerto Rico, or you can take a commuter flight from San Juan and navigate an approach through an off-camber mountain pass before making a hard left and landing on a tiny 2600-foot runway that can't accept anything larger than a 10-person prop-driven aircraft. Just getting there is an adventure!

Unfortunately, it might have been a little more of an adventure than I bargained for. Two weeks before my trip, one of those commuter aircraft from tiny nine-plane Air Flamenco—the "airline" I was flying with—took off from Culebra and crashed into the sea nearby, killing the pilot, who fortunately was the sole occupant. And—thanks to the right-wing extremists holding the US government hostage at the time—the FAA and NTSB did not investigate the crash. Having that happen just before my vacation certainly prompted additional thoughts about my own mortality!

On the other hand, the challenge of getting there has kept the island relatively pristine and unspoiled by the rapacious development that has largely destroyed St. Thomas and many other Caribbean jewels. There are no chain restaurants, none of the large mainstream businesses, and only one bank. But with a dozen beaches and a casual, friendly vibe, Culebra is still the island paradise that other islands can only market themselves as.

It's something of a dangerous paradise though, and as the date of my trip approached, a number of events prompted thoughts for my health, safety, and mortality. Aside from my entrance into my sixth decade and the Air Flamenco crash and the US government being shut down by partisan politics, I was also arriving during hurricane season. In the days before my flight, there were three earthquakes just north of the island, and a lunar eclipse, which would be followed by a solar eclipse while I was down there. The island also ran short of both milk and gasoline due to astronomical tides that stopped the ferry from running. And I could expect the usual vicious acacia thorns and numerous manchineel trees, which are one of the most deadly poisonous plants in existence. And did I mention that Culebra was used for US military gunnery and bombing practice for 36 years? So if you venture off the normal paths, you might well have an unpleasant encounter with some long-forgotten UE (unexploded ordnance). Danger Island, indeed!

Nonetheless, I was looking forward to getting away from it all, and the timing couldn't have been better. I was under a lot of stress from multiple sources: a water leak from my upstairs neighbor, my mother developing a mysterious illness, loss of my job and uncertainty about my next position, negotiating a legal release with my former employer, issues filing for unemployment and finding new health insurance, getting my former health insurer to cover expenses for my ER visit after my bike crash, and my suspicion that my brand new bike had a cracked frame that might not be covered by the manufacturer's warranty.

Ironically, with all this other stuff going on, I really didn't have time to give any thought to turning fifty!

So despite my trepidation about the upcoming commuter flight, I was pretty glad to get away from my normal life for a couple weeks!

Thursday, 24 October 2013

After staying up late to watch the Red Sox romp to victory in the first game of the World Series, I got up early to say goodbye to Grady the cat and make my way to Logan airport. My cabbie complained about an encounter he'd had with the cops for the entire ride.

Once I acclimated to the toxic level of perfume and cologne on the Puerto Ricans in the cabin, my four-hour flight to San Juan was fine, aside from some mid-flight turbulence.

I had about three hours in San Juan, but I also had to get from the big international airport to the tiny general aviation one. Knowing I probably wouldn't have time to find dinner at a restaurant in Culebra, I inhaled some snacks before grabbing a cab and leaving SJU.

My cabbie was Johnathan (sic), a hyper, 30-ish stoner who immediately offered me any kind of candy I wanted from the bags and boxes filling the front passenger seat. He also (while driving, of course) piled me high with two maps of Puerto Rico, a map of San Juan, another of Culebra, a ferry schedule, and his business card!

The cab ride wasn't long, and I stepped out and into the Isla Grande airport lobby. If you've been to the airport in Augusta Maine, it's about the same size: maybe 20 plastic chairs in a 20- by 30-foot room, and that's it.

I had plenty of time, and watched as one customer haggled with the pilot of the next flight to Culebra about leaving early… but not until his family of five returned from having lunch at a nearby restaurant. I identified myself to the attendant as a passenger on the 4:30pm flight. They weighed my bag and I sat back down and started reading.

After about half an hour, the guy's family showed up, and the pilot took them and their copious luggage out to the plane. It took me a moment to realize that although it was only 3:30, that might well be the last I see of my 4:30 flight: the last of the day. So I ran up to an attendant and made noises that I was supposed to be on that plane, and joined the rest of the passengers. Apparently the airline that just lost a plane had no compunctions about mislaying one of their passengers, either!

The seven of us (the family, myself, and the pilot) all wedged ourselves into the cabin of an aircraft that was smaller than many SUVs I've ridden in. Unfortunately, I was in the back, between the fixed landing gear struts, so I wasn't going to get any scenic views as we landed in Culebra. On the other hand, given my past experiences with small planes and Air Flamenco's recent history, I was willing to give that up in exchange for a safe landing.

I white-knuckled the entire flight, but despite a few ups and downs the flight went well. I didn't get much of a view of Flamenco Beach, but I clearly saw how close we were to the treetops as we passed between the two hills just in front of the runway. After a left-hand slide, we managed a painless touchdown, given a 15 mph crosswind, and taxied to the terminal. I was safe, and I was finally on the island!

I checked my cell phone and discovered that I had unexpectedly good reception. But I also learned that due to my early arrival, the woman who runs the guesthouse I was staying at wouldn't able to pick me up. That was fine, because the guesthouse is only across the street, and it was silly that she'd drive over to pick me up.

On the other hand, I made the mistake of relying on memory rather than GPS, and was initially off by one street. The unfortunate penalty for this oversight was a sweaty, unnecessary climb up one of those ridiculously steep island roads. Eventually I came to my senses and found my way back to the guesthouse, where the proprietress showed me my room and answered my questions. The wifi was good, the A/C was great, and the bed sure felt like a good place to be!

Unpacking was a bit of work; in addition to the backpack I'd taken as a carryon, I also went through three boxes of stuff that I'd mailed down a week earlier, to conform with the 25-pound baggage weight limit on Air Flamenco's tiny plane.

I was still headachey from the perfume-filled flight to San Juan, so I instead of exploring the island by foot in the dark in search for an open restaurant, I decided to stock up at the convenience store two blocks away and recover from a tiring day of travel. The wifi was fast enough to stream coverage of the World Series, and I sat up to watch the Red Sox lose a heart-breaking Game 2 before turning in.

However, for most of my visit, rest didn't come easy. The guesthouse is in a typical Puerto Rican neighborhood, which meant blaring music, people driving by yelling announcements in Spanish from truck-mounted loudspeakers, and yells and whistles from the basketball gym across the street. Late at night, these were eclipsed by ridiculously loud and persistent peepers. Then, by 3am the horrible cacophony of wild roosters crowing started up. Even earplugs (which I used every night; thank god I had them!) were of no use for the latter.

Friday, 25 October 2013

I felt a lot better after a shower the next morning. At 8am I walked down the street to Carlos Jeep Rental and picked up a maroon two-door. Jeeps are totally the right vehicle for the islands, and I really enjoy them. The only issue was that they stiffed me by giving me a vehicle with less than half a tank of gas. I contemplated making a fuss, but it wasn't worth the hassle of being forced into playing the role of complaining gringo; I'd rather they thought I was just another clueless tourist instead.

Now that I had my wheels, I could put Day One's plan into effect. I wanted to go into town and exchange some large bills at the bank, then I'd drive around the island, both to get familiar navigating the roads as well as to scout out several of the more convenient beaches, so that I could formulate a plan for my time.

I came back to the guesthouse and chatted with Susan before setting off. I parked just before reaching town, and it was very lucky that I did! As I walked down the single main street, the way was jammed with emergency vehicles and people in pink tee shirts. Apparently I'd stumbled right into the middle of a cancer charity parade through town! As I walked along, I saw a kids' marching band, followed by a pack of Caribbean-styled majorettes, a Carnival-style truck "sound system", and a couple ladies decked out in huge Carnival-style costumes. Quite an unexpected sight!

While this was going on, I ducked into the only bank on the island. Happily, the cashier didn't bat an eye when I asked her to turn six $100 bills into 60 fives and 300 ones. Mission complete! Yay!

After following the parade down the street and taking a few photos, I found myself in front of the tiny post office, so I picked up two boxes to replace the ones I'd mailed things down in, since they were beat up and might not have survived a second mailing back home. By then, the parade had passed my parking spot, so I was able to drive through town and out another road to hit the first beach of my visit: Playa Melones.

Melones is just outside of town and right on the road, but it's not much of a beach. It's tiny and rocky; its only redeeming features are that it's easy to get to, and it has decent snorkeling. At that time, there was no one there.

Since I wasn't going into the water, I immediately broke out my camera and started taking photos. I started clambering over a rock and shouldered some branches aside when I realized I was touching what looked like a manchineel tree: a tree so deadly that merely sheltering under it in a rainstorm can send you to the hospital!

I immediately rinsed my face in the ocean and toweled it off, and fretted. Wouldn't it be awesome if I managed to get my face blistered within my first hour at the beach? Since the guesthouse was on the way to the next beach, I stopped by washed my face with soap and water. Fortunately, the fretting all went for naught, but I didn't know that at the time.

Having done as much as I could about the manchineel, I resumed my scouting mission. My next target was Playa Tamarindo, which is near Flamenco Beach, but over a steep hill and down a rutted side road. Like Melones, the road goes right up to the beach, which makes it a favorite of locals, and there were probably a couple dozen people there, including families and kids as well as a kayak rental operation. It was much larger than Melones, but still narrow and mostly rocky. Nothing I'd be interested in, except perhaps for snorkeling.

Since I was already nearly there, my next stop was Flamenco Beach: the sight of which on a flight to St. Thomas had been the thing that piqued my interest in Culebra in the first place.

It was clearly a major commercial beach, with a small parking lot, several permanent food stands, and hawkers renting beach umbrellas. However, once you got to the beach, all that was forgotten. The arc of soft, pure white powder is really breathtaking, and it's so immense that despite there being a few people there on a Friday afternoon, you could easily find plenty of room far away from everyone else. I walked the beach to the left, getting photos of two rusting tanks left over from the naval bombardment days.

Basically, Flamenco is pretty much everything they say it is: arguably the best beach in the Caribbean. But I wanted to save more exploration for a weekday when it would be even less populated.

Being at Flamenco also gave me access to two more remote beaches. In the forgotten back corner of the parking lot, behind a locked cyclone fence and a warning sign, is an overgrown path that leads over a ridge and down to two beaches that cannot be reached by road. It was a sweaty 20-minute hike through thorny underbrush, but the destination was well worth it.

The trail ends at a rocky point with crescent beaches on each side. The first is on the left: Tamarindo Grande. It's a nice long, narrow beach that's more sand than rock, and there's a small outcropping and rocks to the far left. It was a little windy and there was some surf, but nothing unmanageable. The tides had definitely thrown up some trash on the beach, but there was also not a single other person there. While it might not be the perfect idyll, it looked like a place I'd want to return to.

Cutting back across the point to the other beach, I came out on Playa Carlos Rosario, which was quite similar: mixed rock and sand, long and narrow. I think I saw one or two people in the far distance, but otherwise I was alone. I found a shady spot to sit and do my daily meditation, although it was more a contemplation of life and ageing than the prescribed form for sitting meditation.

The hike back to Flamenco was punctuated by one of those quick-hitting three-minute tropical showers, which felt pretty nice during the sweaty climb over the ridge. When I got back to the parking lot, I went straight to the concessions and picked up a water and cola, which I promptly downed, knowing I was very dehydrated.

With the day still young, I decided to drive the entire length of the island (six or seven miles) to one of the furthest beaches: Playa Zoni. The drive passed right along the edge of the water, then looped up and down more of those ridiculous island hills, which reminding me a lot of St. John. There were moving views of the surrounding smaller islands, including familiar St. Thomas rising in the distance.

Zoni is another beach where you can drive up and park right next to the shore. It's very long and beautifully sandy, but very narrow in places. There were maybe a dozen people lounging in the shade or wading in the ocean. I walked around to the right and clambered around on the rocks that inevitably terminate the beach, then headed back home. Six beaches in one day was quite a satisfactory expedition!

Although it was only 4pm, I was hungry and thirsty. Between the crush of weekend tourists, "island time" service, and the closure of several places (Mamacita's, the Spot, Susie's, and Dingy Dock) due to it being low season, I figured I'd try to get a bite before the crowds showed up.

I wound up trying Zaco's Tacos, a tiny little bar/restaurant in town. I had a pretty good carnitas quesadilla, and downed both a limeade and a lime soda, all for just $10.

After eating, I walked to the other nearby colmado to scout it out and see if there were any groceries there that I wanted. My route took me across Culebra's one bridge, which spans a narrow canal between the protected harbor and the open bay, which saves small craft a lengthy trip around the headland that forms the southwestern portion of the island.

After finding nothing of interest at the tiny grocery store, I drove back to the guesthouse to write up my notes, download my photos, and form a strategy for the next day. Fortunately, there was no World Series game, so I turned in at a normal time and got a little bit more sleep than I'd gotten on my first night on the island.

Saturday, 26 October 2013

After breakfast, I decided to spend Saturday avoiding the weekend tourist crowd by visiting the two most isolated beaches on the island: Resaca and Brava, which both required lengthy hikes.

I decided to tackle Playa Resaca first, because it was presumably the more difficult hike. I was very glad for the surefooted Jeep, because the "road" up to the trailhead was implausibly steep and very broken up. When I got to the top, I had a hard time even finding the trail! Although it was right in front of me, it looked like a small patch of razor grass that had been matted down.

Although the hike was all downhill, it was a solid half mile and horribly overgrown and nearly impossible to follow. If you had asked me, I would have guessed that no one had used the path in a year or two! It mostly followed a rocky storm runoff channel, which made the walking difficult, painful, and hazardous. In addition to treacherous rocks and thickets of razor grass, one was constantly squatting and stooping and contorting to avoid branches full of acacia thorns and, toward the end, tangles of mangroves. A machete would have made a ton of sense. And did I mention the insects? Yeah, it was a long, hard, wearying, sweaty slog.

Of course, the end justified the hike, as I emerged from a patch of sea grape onto an immense mile-long field of sand which I had completely to myself. I walked the whole length of the beach. Passing clouds sporadically hid the sun, and a very light sprinkle cooled me off, as I gauged whether the surf was swimmable.

There was a fair amount of trash (some of it interesting) in the margin, but I also came across the fresh scalloped pattern in the sand of a huge sea turtle that had come up onto the beach, nested, and returned to the sea, probably the night before.

After a long trudge up and down the beach, I faced the terrible return hike, which would be all uphill this time. It was pretty brutal, but at least now I could rely on my GPS to keep me on the same path I'd taken down. But the less said about that hike the better!

From there, I drove a few miles to the trailhead to Playa Brava, which turned out to be more readily accessible for both the car (fewer back roads and crazy hills) and for people. Although the footpath was 50 percent longer than the Resaca hike, it was more of an actual path than a jungle thicket. While it did degrade to a washed-out gully toward the end, it was still easier to follow, less rocky, and less overgrown with acacia thorns.

I finally emerged onto a beach that was a lot like Resaca: absolutely immense, and populated solely by one couple, who disappeared shortly after I arrived. The surf here was very high, and treacherous enough that one didn't even wade very much. Definitely not swimmable. The wind was very strong, blowing sand, and there was virtually no shade.

I again decided to trudge the entire length of the beach, which ended in a rocky point with a small, rocky cay (Cayo Matojo) just offshore. Just around the point was an immense ramp of stone that begged to be climbed. At the top, one looked forty feet down into a rocky cove, with Resaca visible in the far distance: a dramatic view well worth savoring.

I trudged back to the trail and was maybe half a klick from the beach when a couple approached me from the other direction. They wanted to know how much further it was, and whether it was a nice beach. Surprisingly, after having hiked nearly the entire way, they decided to turn around and go back without making it to the beach; to each his own, I guess.

Returning to the car, I desperately needed liquid, so I picked some up at the neighborhood colmado and went home for a shower and siesta. Although I'd debated hitting one more beach that day, I decided to punt on that idea.

Fortunately, I had yet to sunburn, but after trudging through the sand for the length of eight beaches in two days, plus four lengthy jungle hikes, my legs and feet were used up. I was dehydrated and covered with cuts and scrapes and a couple blisters.

I delayed supper until 8pm, when I headed in town to Heather's Pizza, where I planned to watch Game 3 of the World Series. It was crowded and it took an hour just to get a seat at the bar. Unfortunately, their specials board was gutted when they ran out of chicken, so I settled for a gnocchi, which was tasty but light on the gnocchi and way too heavy on the onion. Heather's and Zaco's would be my go-to places for the rest of the trip.

I was joined by a young slacker dude Dan, another Bostonian who had showed up unannounced at the guesthouse that morning. We chatted during the game, but he left before me. Eventually I returned to the house to watch the last of the game, which the Red Sox lost on a controversial interference call. It started looking to me like the Sox were going to pull another of their infamous end-of-season flops that frustrated their fans for so many decades.

Sunday, 27 October 2013

After two full days of beachgoing without actually getting into the water, and with my feet very beat up from hiking and beach walking, Sunday I decided to change it up and spend the day snorkeling.

My first destination was Punta Soldado, an all-rock beach that is known for its snorkeling. It would require a bit more exploration, because it was at the far southwestern corner of the island, over the bridge and the canal and beyond. The drive was very scenic, and I quickly reached the point where the road surface turns to gravel. I should have continued on in the Jeep, but the rental place emphasized not to go off pavement, and that had been confirmed by reports I'd read online. So I parked the Jeep, although in the end I totally should have driven on.

As I left the Jeep in a turnaround at the end of the road, I glimpsed an abandoned wallet and phone in the grass at the side. I decided to leave it there, in case someone had left it intentionally while swimming. I grabbed my stuff and walked another half mile down to the beach.

Online reports said the coral began by a big boulder on the left side of the beach, so I trudged down there and put in. My first dive into the water—on my third day on the island!—was refreshing and delicious.

The snorking was interesting. I didn't see a ton of wildlife, and the water seemed to have some sand suspended in it, because it wasn't as clear as I'd expected. On the positive side, the coral structures were remarkable and diverse and extensive. This was also the first time I'd used my new GoPro video camera underwater, and that seemed to work well.

After a while, I hopped out and air-dried for a while before heading back to the Jeep. I might have explored the other end of the beach, but there were a couple line fishermen there, plus a rather obvious couple swimming further along, so I gave them their space.

Back at the Jeep, the wallet was still there, so I picked it up and looked for an address to mail it to. In addition to wallet and phone, there was a couple hundred dollars, a passport, and a dozen debit and credit cards, but no driver's license, so no address. After debating whether to leave it there (perhaps the owner would come back?), I decided to drive into town and find a local police station where I could turn it in.

I needed gas anyways, and the only gas station was on the same side of the bridge, so I headed back to town and put some gas in the tank. The kid manning the store showed me where the police station was (quite nearby, also south of the bridge), and I drove down there.

At the station, the cop I turned the stuff over to was very surprised, saying that I was the first person in two years who had turned something in, because of the difference in culture in Puerto Rico. Whatever. I just wanted to do the right thing and be done with it. After a bit more conversation than I wanted, I left satisfied that at least I'd done the right thing, and anything else was beyond my control.

From there, I crossed over the bridge and through town to Melones, the tiny, unimpressive beach I'd first visited. This time, I wanted to check out the snorkeling.

It wound up being similar to Soldado: a little murky, not much marine life, but amazing coral formations. There was an area of sea grass, but no turtles inhabiting it. Climbing out and air-drying, some locals came by and started a cookout which smelled delicious, and another group came by blaring music from speakers in the back of a golf cart (a regular form of transportation there), but they thankfully left. This reinforced my opinion that Melones really is what New Englanders would call a "townie" beach.

On my drive back to the house, I spotted that guy Dan and gave him a lift, and he mentioned he was moving to cheaper lodgings. I spent the remains of the afternoon snacking, showering, and having a bit of a siesta before returning to Zaco's for a burrito. I was kind of headachey, and went back to the house to climb in bed and watch the Red Sox win Game 4.

Monday, 28 October 2013

Monday was a rest day. I wanted to let my feet and legs heal, and take a break from so much sun exposure. I figured I'd go out late in the day for a bit of snorkeling and then photograph the sunset. So I hung around the house until a little after noon.

At that point I went into town to find lunch, which was a failure; everything was closed for a good rest after the weekend tourists had gone home. I stopped by the grocery store and stocked up and headed back to the guesthouse.

When 4pm rolled around, I headed out to Tamarindo, where the snorking was okay. There wasn't much reef, just a ton of sea grass, which usually means turtles, but none were in evidence. I did see a couple rays, which I've never seen before.

After a while I got out of the water and walked the beach. As I waited, I realized that it was the last day of my forties, and appreciated the symbolism of watching the sun set on another decade of my life. Then I got my cameras ready for the oncoming sunset, which turned out pretty nice. I got a number of good stills with my dSLR, and a time-lapse movie with the GoPro.

However, as the sun disappeared, I got mauled by biting insects, mostly on the legs, which soon looked pretty bad, between dozens of bug bites and thorn scratches and abrasions from my sandals.

Since everything was closed, Monday was a good day to cook at home, and I made a fettucini marinara from ingredients I'd bought earlier, although I wasn't especially fond of the canned sauce. Then it was time for another World Series game, where the Red Sox advanced to a 3-2 series lead before returning to Boston for the final game(s).

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

So, my birthday. The biggest thing I want on my birthday—and one of the reasons I made the trip to Culebra—is to be left alone. So the first thing I did after getting up was to turn off Facebook and my IM client, so that those avenues of communication would be unavailable to people.

My original plan was to spend the day snorkeling and hanging out at Tamarindo Grande and Carlos Rosario, the two beaches that are a 20-minute hike from the Playa Flamenco parking lot. I thought about checking out Flamenco along the way, but I wanted to limit my sun exposure.

But during the short drive out, it became clear that it was going to be a mostly cloudy day anyways. That meant I didn't need to worry about the sun, and that underwater visibility would be reduced for snorkeling. Combined with my antipathy toward another hike, by the time I got to the parking lot my plan had changed to spending the day at Flamenco. There would be fewer people there too, since it was a Tuesday.

That, of course, made perfect sense. After all, the inspiration for this entire trip had been seeing Flamenco from the air on the way to St. Thomas back in 2008. Why wouldn't I spend my 50th birthday on the most beautiful stretch of beach in the Caribbean?

So that's what I did. I arrived at about 10am and walked down the strand to find a broad stretch of sand all to myself. Aside from an hour of meditation, I spent nearly all of the next six hours in the water.

There was a nice surf providing great waves, which is one of the delights of swimming in the ocean. I parked myself right where the waves broke, which provided me with an optimal ride. While most were three or four feet, occasionally a big wave would lift me eight feet or more as it roared past.

It was basically everything I try to experience on Cape Cod after my Pan-Mass Challenge rides, only perfected: the water was warm and clear, there was no seaweed, there weren't any rocks, the sun was warm, and I had all the time in the world to enjoy it.

I'd brought my GoPro into the water with me, and took a lot of video footage as I played around in the waves. At one point, I thought it'd be cool to get a video of myself with an approaching wave cresting in the background. Unfortunately, the wave I got was much larger than I'd expected, and it crested and crashed right on top of me, violently throwing me around in the surf. Fortunately, I managed to hold onto the camera, which provided great video, but the wave had knocked my sunglasses off.

I searched for them, but after several minutes I had to admit defeat. Given how dynamic the wave action was, most likely they were either buried in the sand or had been carried away from the beach in the undertow. After half an hour of looking, I tried to estimate the odds of my finding them and concluded that it was a one in 5,000 shot.

It was inconvenient, but okay. I'd bought those glasses only a dozen miles from there, and if they were purchased in St. Thomas and then lost in Culebra, that somehow completed a cycle. They had served me very well in the intervening six years, and I was planning on replacing them in the spring anyways.

Of course, once I started thinking that my sunglasses were an appropriate tribute to leave at Flamenco, I saw something dark and round below me in five feet of water. Either it was my sunglasses, a rock, or a horseshoe crab. I reached out with my toes and grabbed… my sunglasses! Flamenco had decided to return them after all!

Of course, all this splashing around was accompanied by ruminations about the big birthday. Spending six hours floating in the ocean prompted an odd comparison with amniotic fluid. Another thought occupying my mind was the idea that we spend half our life building our strength and power, and the other half learning how to let that strength and power all disappear from our grasp.

Toward late afternoon the sun came out, and I picked up a little more color, so I made my way back to the Jeep, where three stray cats presented me with a litany of demands. Then I drove back the house, where I showered before a trip into town to pick up two pepperoni and garlic slices of pizza at Heather's. I also posted to Facebook a great still photo that I'd extracted from the video of the wave that claimed my sunglasses crashing over me. With no World Series game, I was able to turn in before midnight, which was a pleasant change.

Obviously, the main reason for this trip was to make sure I had a memorable and enjoyable day, far away from anyone who might know it was my 50th birthday. Although I hadn't planned on spending the day at Flamenco, the weather conspired to ensure that it was the optimal thing to do. It was completely appropriate, and an absolute blast, and it will indeed be one of the most pleasant memories I carry with me.

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

When I first scouted Playa Zoni, I hadn't spent much time there or walked the full length of the beach. But I'd known I was going back, because of a little secret I'd learned just before my trip.

Like pretty much all of the beaches here, Zoni's arc of sand is terminated at either end by a rocky point. But if you go all the way to the left (a pretty long trek) and clamber over the rocks, you come around the point to a tiny little hidden jewel that few people seem to know about called (alternately) Playa Tortuga or Playa Tortolo.

The beach might be only 50 yards long, but it's an idyllic little crescent with great views of Cayo Norte, Culebrita, and even St. Thomas in the distance. There isn't a single sign of human habitation in sight except for the abandoned lighthouse atop a high hill on Culebrita.

Of course, on a Wednesday I had the entire beach to myself for the day, which included an awesome extra feature. Someone had taken an eight-foot driftwood log and suspended it on ropes between two sea grape trees, forming an excellent swing and a perfect shady refuge from the brutal Caribbean sun. As I hung out there, I saw several moderately-sized lizards wandering around the undergrowth, and one passed right by me.

Although the surf was pretty tame, I spent plenty of time swimming. At one point I even lost my sunglasses (yes, a second time), which had been stowed in a pocket in my bathing suit. Fortunately, they were more easily recovered this time!

Eventually the sun went behind a cloud, and I moseyed back around the point to the other end of Zoni. The beach wasn't very wide and there were numerous rocks nestling in the surf zone. After a while more, I drove back to the house, showered, and grabbed a supper of chicken quesas at Zaco's.

Then back home to watch the Red Sox close out the first World Series victory in Fenway Park in 95 years… on the day after my 50th birthday! Not exactly the present I was hoping for, but it's certainly nice icing on the cake!

Thursday, 31 October 2013

After six beach days in a row, I woke up without much enthusiasm for hitting the sand, plus it was overcast with occasional rain. I spent most of the day hanging around the guesthouse, relaxing and recovering.

I did make one trip to the colmado, and another into town to fill up the Jeep. While there, I wandered around looking for interesting photos to take, but that was the limit of my activity until evening.

It was Halloween, and local bar Dinghy Dock (yes, it is on a dock, and people do arrive and tie up their little launches) was having a costume party for their re-opening after having been closed for the low season. Having known something would be up, I'd brought a costume of my own to wear: a Devo tee shirt, red plastic Energy Dome, and a toy whip. I changed up and headed down to the party.

Given that I was a complete stranger in a crowd of people who knew one another, I tended to hang back from the conversations. I did talk to a few people, and took a few photos, but not many, since the two sets of Li-ion batteries I'd brought for my flash died surprisingly quickly. It seemed like an ever-changing crowd, as a lot of people came and went, and I eventually chose to do the same. It was interesting and I'm glad I checked it out, but parties where I'm the only person who doesn't know everyone else aren't very fun or easy.

Friday, 1 November 2013

The arrival of Friday November First meant that I'd had my rental Jeep for a full week, so the first thing I did in the morning was return it to the rental company. Then I sat around for a bit, waiting for my other rental to appear.

You could hear the Thing coming a few blocks away. And when I say "Thing", that's not a typo; I'd rented a Volkswagen Thing™ from a guy named Dick who maintains a collection of them on the island.

If you're not familiar with the Thing, you've got a treat in store. You probably already know that back in 1934, Adolph Hitler commissioned Ferdinand Porsche (yes, that Porsche) to design the Volkswagen Beetle, the longest-running and most produced car design ever.

Well, in 1938 Hitler tapped Porsche again to design a lightweight military vehicle: essentially the same idea as a Humvee, or the American Jeep that was its contemporary. Volkswagen eventually produced the Nazi staff car known as the Kübelwagen, which was largely built around the Beetle chassis.

In the late 1960s, the Kübelwagen was resurrected as a lightweight off-road vehicle for both military and civilian use. It was marketed in the US as a highly-customizable fun vehicle; you could remove the doors, the canvas top, even the windshield, then paint it in garish colors and have an instant Hippie pad in much the same vein as the VW Microbus. It was only sold in the US for two years because it couldn't pass increasingly more stringent safety regulations.

With that as background, how could I resist renting an authentic Nazi staff car, designed by Ferdinand Porsche, with all the retro chic of a real 1970s Hippie-mobile?

Of course, I knew better than to rely on a 40 year old antique for my sole transportation, so my plan had been to rent a modern Jeep for a week—to get the weekly rate—and then rent a Thing for the remaining four days of my trip.

As I waited, certified Hippie Dick, who rents VW Things to tourists, drove up to the guesthouse in his Smiley-face yellow Nazi staff car. He drove me back to his house, where I dropped him off, received instructions about the idiosyncrasies of driving a 75 year old car, and took the helm.

I'm not sure I can communicate the experience of driving a Thing. It's like driving a kid's go-kart that happens to have a manual 4-speed transmission. It's like driving a toy kit vehicle made in the 1930s and assembled by a particularly drunk parent late on Christmas eve. It has ineffective brakes and steering that is so loose that user input is a mere course suggestion, rather than direct mechanical control. It's flimsy like a paper airplane, finicky as a mule, and louder than the twin turboprop airplane I flew to the Culebra on.

On the other hand, it is the perfect vehicle for the island, where you see more golf carts on the roads than production automobiles. At $40 a day it was a cheap rental, a fun and unique experience that cannot be duplicated anywhere, and a stylish ride (in a very garish and retro sort of way).

After a stop at home to grab my gear, I was off to the Flamenco parking lot, where I realized I'd forgotten to bring Gatorade along, so I made a second trip back to the guesthouse. By the time I returned to Flamenco, my body memory of driving a stick had come back. Although driving the 40-horsepower Thing wasn't quite the same as my old 150-horsepower sport coupe, at least I could make the bugger move, even if it felt like it was going to shake apart in the street when I got it up to a hair-tousling 30 mph…

Having successfully mastered the art of Thinging, I set off on the hike over the ridge to Tamarindo Grande and Carlos Rosario. As I approached the padlocked gate leading to the path, an older couple came out. Apparently they, like the young couple I'd met on the Brava path, had done nearly the entire hike, then given up and turned around. I shook my head; I don't understand people who set out on moderate physical challenges, but then give up just before reaching the payoff. Do or do not; there is no "try"!

After passing Tam Grande, I emerged from the undergrowth at Carlos Rosario: reportedly the best snorkeling spot on the island. There was one other couple there, and a couple other groups arrived later, all snorkelers. I didn't waste any time stowing my stuff and getting into the water.

As I swam to the north side of the sandy beach area, I approached a tall wall of coral which rose from a depth of 30 feet or more. I followed that wall quite a ways before passages through it appeared, the reef having grown in a pattern similar to fingers jutting out into the ocean. The visibility was pretty good, despite a partly cloudy day.

The coral is indescribable. It's huge in extent and diversity, and well populated with aquatic life. After a while, I crossed back over the mostly lifeless sandy area to explore the south side of the beach, which also had some fascinating coral growth, if not as extensive as "the wall". I won't bore you with all the different types of coral and fish I saw, but I was amazed, particularly by the schools of blue tang.

One thing to bear in mind at Rosario is that it's not for beginners. There is wave action, and since the coral grows in places to within a foot of the surface, waves often break over it. It required some judgement and skill to swim the narrow channels between the walls of coral without getting thrown into them by the changing currents as waves and changing currents flow through the passages within the reef.

After a couple lengthy snorking excursions, I headed back to Tamarindo Grande, which is on the opposite side of a rocky point of land. I walked down to the rocky outcrop I'd visited on my scouting trip a week before and carefully put in. There's no sandy beach area there, so I had to carefully navigate a shallow and narrow channel of coral before emerging into a sandy patch offshore that runs parallel to the beach.

The snorkeling here was interesting too, with lots of varieties of fans, and coral growing in piers with channels between them, much like at Rosario, but smaller. Further out, sea grass grew in deeper water, and might be a good location to find turtles.

Unfortunately, as I glided along I noticed several near-transparent jellyfish hovering near the surface, which instantly turned me off. Having experienced jellyfish stings in my time on St. Thomas, I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of a repeat, so I aborted my snorking at Tamarindo Grande. I climbed out and dried off on one of the volcanic rocks before heading back to the path.

The rest of the day was pretty laid-back. I debated going into town for dinner, but couldn't work up the initiative. Besides, I wasn't sure I wanted to drive the Thing in the dark. It was a quiet evening at home, which was fine.

Saturday, 2 November 2013

Friday night brought heavy rain, but as usual in the islands, it didn't last until morning. With the weekend upon us, it was time for me to return to the more isolated beaches in an effort to avoid the tourist crowd.

I had thought about going to Resaca, but I didn't have much confidence that the VW Thing could make it up the ridiculously steep ascent to the trailhead, and I wasn't very excited by the idea of repeating that insane hike. So I punted and went to Brava, which had been nearly as empty last weekend, but with an easier drive and an easier hike, as well!

That didn't mean the hike was painless, though. The overnight rain had turned much of the trail into slick mud, and I was sweating heavily by the time I emerged onto the strand, where four guys were out surfing on the huge swells that had accompanied the rain.

I once again walked the length of the immense beach to the rocky point, the whole time admiring the power and noise of the huge surf. I got some good video of the area, including the little cay just offshore and the view from the rocky overlook around the end of the point.

I also tempted fate by twice getting into the water for short swims in the big breakers. I didn't think there were any rip currents, both from visual inspection and watching the flotsam in the surf zone. Still, I wasn't especially comfortable trusting such heavy surf, especially when I was alone and after a couple of waves threw me around. Perhaps counter-intuitively, it was more difficult getting into the water than getting out, when one could simply ride a wave in by body surfing and then sprinting through the wash.

After a while in the hot sun, I made the long sandy trudge back across the beach, then the long wooded trudge up to the car. After a run to the grocery store, the rains returned just before dinnertime.

That posed a dilemma for me: either punt on dinner for a second day in a row, or drive the Thing in the rain. Did I mention that the Thing has no side windows? And no rear window? And only a canvas roof, which like a tent sags and lets water pool on top.

It was a wet drive into town, where I walked down to Zaco's Tacos, which displayed a prominent "Closed" placard. Damn! From there, I walked a couple blocks down to Heather's, which was fortunately open. Strangely, it was nearly empty of customers on a Saturday night, so I pulled up a bar stool and checked out the televisions. When the bartender came, I ordered the chicken alfredo, which really hit the spot, after having wanted it days earlier, when they had been out of chicken. So that made for a very satisfying dinner.

Walking back to the car, the downtown appeared to be completely dead: no one on the street, and no cars driving around. It didn't make sense that a little rain would be enough to shutter the town, but whatever. I drove the Thing home, then watched the New England Revolution jump out to a 2-1 lead in their first playoff game in four years.

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Sunday there was a 2-hour partial solar eclipse (61 percent obscuration in Culebra) which started 20 minutes before sunrise, so I got up early to "watch". That was pretty pointless, because it was heavy overcast with the occasional tropical downpour, so there was no show. Too bad! Meanwhile, this marked the most rain Culebra had received since May.

Ironically, the eclipse happened on the same morning that the US "fell back" to daylight saving time, which Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands do not observe. So we went from being the same time as Boston to an hour later than Boston.

Sunday was also the day of the Pan-Mass Challenge check presentation. While waiting for the rains to pass, I saw a story that reported a $39 million gift to the Jimmy Fund, which is a new record and the largest gift ever given to charity by an athletic fundraising event. It was a proud moment, but commentary on that belongs in my 2013 PMC Ride Report.

Next I piled into the Thing for the "long" drive out to Playa Zoni. Even if it might rain, I wasn't going to spend my penultimate day in the guesthouse! I walked the length of the beach and around the point on the left to return to my "secret" beach: Playa Tortuga.

I spent most of the morning there. The rain held off, and the slowly-thinning overcast meant I could swim and hang on the beach without sunblock or fear of sunburn. That was the theory, anyways. The one place I burned were the parts of my feet that are normally hidden by sandal straps. The exposed parts of my feet had tanned during a summer of bike riding in Boston, but the hidden bits—which were exposed when I swam or walked barefoot on the beach—had turned a bright lobstery red.

The Thing did a fine job ascending the steeply hilly road back from Zoni, and I even saw a couple whitetail deer (wild but not native) on the way back to the guesthouse. There I took a few minutes to take photos of the vehicle, then headed into town for dinner at Zaco's, which for some unfathomable reason had been closed on Saturday night.

Well, it was closed again Sunday night, so I went home and was so frustrated about the unpredictability of island businesses that I punted on dinner again. I spent the evening packing up my shorts, my sandals, and all my snorkeling gear to mail back to Boston the following morning.

Monday, 4 November 2013

Monday was my last full day on the island. I woke up and checked the temperature in Boston: 31 degrees! Ugh.

The first order of business was to mail off my three boxes of stuff, so I took the Thing into town and popped into the Post Office. After the usual "island time" delays, my boxes full of island necessities were tagged and piled up for shipment. All that remained were the few necessities I was allowed to carry on the turboprop flight back to San Juan. I walked sadly back to my Thing.

There was no question where I was going to spend my last day on the island: at Flamenco, of course! Under a mostly cloudless sky, I walked the length of the beach to the muellecito (site of a former dock and shark pens), where I sat under a shading palm and hung out for a while. I swam a little, managing to temporarily lose the GoPro on the sandy bottom twice while trying to capture images of me swimming.

After a couple hours, a few more clouds showed up, which gave me the opportunity to move closer to the swimmable section of the beach. I found another unoccupied beachside palm tree and stowed my stuff before going out an enjoying the water. The surf was again pretty dramatic, and I had a lot of fun playing with the huge waves in the surf zone, going so far as to be thrown around and doing multiple somersaults on the bottom in a couple of a larger breakers. It was a blast! Good video, too.

Knowing it was my last beach visit, I thanked the island and the sea, and tried to burn the images into my memory. But eventually I made my way back to the parking lot, where I discovered that someone had parked Dick's white Thing two spots down from my yellow one!

I returned to the guesthouse to get everything organized for an early morning departure. I checked into my flight and went upstairs to the proprietress' apartment to cash out and print my boarding pass. I chatted with her and her husband for a while and learned why I'd had such bad luck with Zaco's: apparently that week they had changed their business days. For my first week, they had been open Wednesday through Sunday and took Monday and Tuesday off; for my second week, they were open Monday through Friday, taking the weekends off.

On the other hand, that meant Zaco's, which I had thought would be closed as usual on a Monday night, was actually open that evening, so I piled into the Thing and had a BBQ pork quesadilla for dinner, rather than a repeat of the fettucini marinara that I'd planned to cook at home.

After that, it was time to set the clock for an early wake-up and log some sleep.

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

With an early flight, I woke up to the alarm and closed up shop. I piled into the Thing and drove to Dick's house, appreciating a nice sunrise and a greeting from a friendly cat. Then he drove me to the airport, where I waited around for my puddlejumper to the big island. That flight wasn't quite the white-knuckler the first one was, if only from the increased familiarity of having one such flight already under my belt.

I walked a few blocks from the tiny Isla Grande airport to San Juan's new convention center and then stepped into a Sheraton across the street. Having nearly five hours before my flight back to Boston and about $200 in $20 bills left in my travel fund, I had decided to check out the handy hotel casino.

Presumably the Sheraton hosts the city's biggest casino, which really isn't saying much. Granted it was 8:30am on a Tuesday, but there wasn't a single table game open, and the rows of slots were nearly empty. Instead of leaving some money on the table for them, I kept my cash and tapped into their guest wifi and hung around for an hour before finding a taxi to the big airport.

From there, I expected my return trip to Boston to be pretty ordinary, which it indeed was. I was happy to hop an MBTA train back to Copley, where I received an enthusiastic welcome from my diminutive roommate.

Epilogue

How did Culebra compare to my other Caribbean travels? I think the defining differences were a result of Culebra being a tiny island that has remained off the beaten tourist path. With no corporate chains, everything is a small business run by locals who know one other. That makes things interesting, but it also means they have the flexibility to open and close whenever they feel like it each day, or shut down for an entire month. In the midst of low season, that made finding food difficult. And the lack of fresh vegetables and meat began to wear on me.

This lack of development also meant there was less infrastructure. It definitely wasn't an all-inclusive luxury resort! I had to find my own entertainment, which was entirely limited to beaches and aquatic adventures.

Of course culturally Culebra is much more Puerto Rican than the Virgin Islands, which have more Black residents than Hispanic. I was certainly self-conscious about being a Gringo, but everyone was friendly, and there is a healthy American expatriate community there, as well.

Overall I enjoyed the island a lot, and it gave me a good long respite from the stresses I was under, and the opportunity to put all that back into a larger perspective. And yet in the end I was equally happy to return to the comforts of home.

Finally, I should try to encapsulate some of the topics that occupied my mind while I was hidden away from the world and completing my 50th year. Be warned: this is where things take a sharp turn from the tropical paradise travelog to our more usual moribund philosophical contemplation of ageing and death.

One might ask whether I have been satisfied with my longstanding desire to spend my birthdays alone and avoid any notice by others, and especially going to such lengths to spend this particular birthday by myself. I think the answer is a resounding yes. I'm not a fan of receiving attention for no better reason than because "it's my turn". Furthermore, for me a birthday is best spent on introspection and reflection on one's life, rather than performing obligatory social antics. So it actually pleased me that extremely few of my friends took any note of my birthday, and even those were kept one-on-one and low-key.

But if I have one regret about the trip, it was that I did not bring anyone to share this superlative experience and these memories with. That's a very deep disappointment, because I really value the connection that comes when my friends and I share our lives. But at the same time, there were benefits to being on my own: I wasn't bound by someone else's preferences and limitations, and I got to spend my time however I wanted.

Being a solid two-thirds of the way through my life, I have to admit that this trip was probably the pinnacle of my adventurousness. The extent and nature of my adventures is bound to narrow and become a bit less ambitious as I grow more risk-averse. For example, I think I'm pretty well done taking tiny turboprop flights! Although I've passed my peak strength, I should use the next few years to get as much adventuring in as I can, while I'm still fully healthy and able to do so.

Often you'll hear older folks say that although they are unable to do as much because of their physical decline, they feel as if they still had the mind of someone in their twenties. In my experience, that shows a lack of self-knowledge. I would say that in the past 20 years I have grown and matured more—both intellectually and emotionally—than any other period in my life. I've become more patient, philanthropic, supportive, and even nurturing: things that wouldn't have made sense to me when I was in my twenties. I'm much more attuned to my heart and my philosophical side, and am working to overcome the shortcomings of my adolescent upbringing. In short, as I've matured, I've gone from trying to be manly to being fatherly. That differentiation—between manly and fatherly—is incredibly important. In my opinion, many men and most feminists have lost sight of the fact that fatherliness is an integral and valuable part of male development.

In recent months, I've been inundated with one clear message about ageing. My Buddhist practice group has taken up the topic of renunciation, or actively practising how to hold things we think are important loosely and easily, since ultimately we have to let go of everything in this life, including our hopes, our desires, our relationships, and ultimately our bodies and our minds.

At the same time, my 88 year old mother—certainly no Buddhist!—has repeatedly told me the same thing, a conclusion she has come to independently: that growing old is a long and painful process of letting go of everything one holds dear.

I guess I'm gradually getting used to the idea, although it's something that's difficult for the heart to internalize.

My second day on the island, after a long, arduous hike down a rock-strewn and ridiculously overgrown stream bed, I emerged onto the sand at Resaca Beach. Remote and isolated, I knew I was probably the only person to visit it all week. As soon as I walked down to the shore, I turned around and observed my footprints in the sand: the only footprints on the entire strand.

That put me in a philosophical mood. After fifty years, many of the things I've put time and effort and my heart into have already disappeared, whether we're talking about career, personal pursuits, material acquisitions, or relationships. In fact, like my footprints on the beach, everything we do will disappear within a few short years of our passing. Ultimately, in the bigger picture, everything we as a society and a species do is just as ephemeral and with no more meaning than a few footprints in the sand.

Many people find that thought depressing, but I have always found it liberating. I don't worry about the meaning of my life, because I know that my whole existence means little more than a mayfly's. But that means that I am free to make whatever I want of my life; there are no expectations to live up to, and no one with the authority to judge my life choices.

The nature of life demands that we hold everything as loosely as our footprints, knowing that we have to let it all go much sooner than we might wish. Ageing gives us many opportunities to practice this skill as our horizons shrink and our dependence on others grows. It might not be a process any of us welcome wholeheartedly, but it is the ultimate fact of life.

Harkening back to my days of adolescent explorations around the town I grew up in, one day I rode my bicycle past a cemetery and spied a headstone with a verse that, although it turns out to be a common old New England inscription, had a great deal of impact on me:

Remember me as you pass by.
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you shall be;
Prepare for death and follow me.

As I begin this final third of my life, these are the things I've been reflecting on. May those ideas serve you as well as they have served me.

Air Wolf

Jul. 14th, 2009 11:04 am

Sunday my buddy Jay dragged a bunch of us out to the Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome for their 50th anniversary airshow. They’ve got a collection of a couple dozen antique flying machines, plus a few automobiles and miscellanea from the early 20th century.

I’m not going to launch into a huge writeup; instead, I’ll just point you at my Old Rhinebeck photo set, of which the following are just a small subset.

The one thing I will mention is the 10-minute ride we took in a 1929 biplane, which was pretty superlative. I brought my GPS and recorded our flight path, which you can see here (sadly sans altitude data). We went 10.5 miles, taking off and landing around 60 mph at 345’ and maxing out at 82 mph and 1225’, which would be 880’ above ground level.

On the descent, I was even able to fire off a quick status update to Twitter and Facebook: aloft aboard an 80 year old biplane. HALP!

All in all, it was an excellent trip, providing a dash of adventure, contact with friends, plenty of sunshine, and lots of awesome photo opportunities.

1929 New Standard D-25 Jay's Historic Moment
Going up! 1917 Curtiss JN-4H “Jenny”
It flies! 1917 Fokker Dr.I banks
See the full photoset

I told you about the Death Flight from Hell, right? Well, wash, rinse, repeat.

Actually, it wasn’t that bad. Yesterday’s American Eagle ATR 72 flight from San Juan to St. Thomas boarded about half an hour late because allegedly (a) they were late getting in from their previous flight, and (b) they had to go through customs.

Eventually we get to the runway and start rolling and… oh, an indicator light came on. We aborted takeoff. Again. Boy, doesn’t that sound familiar? We’ll just taxi back to a holding area and wait for half an hour while the pilots try to diagnose the problem.

No, that didn’t do it, we have to go back to the “gate”—actually a portable generator sitting alone out on the tarmac, a quarter mile from the terminal—and have a mechanic come on board to look at it.

Another half hour passes before the pilot comes on and says, in effect, “Well, we’re not sure why, but it works now. But if it comes on again, we’re going to ignore it. After all, it’s nothing safety-related… just the control of the flaps. Your safety is our top concern here at American Eagle.” Yeah.

So we taxi out to the runway, and wait. We’re number two to take off, but we’re sitting there for about fifteen minutes before the pilot turns back to the gate. The loudspeaker informs us that after all that sitting around, they happened to notice that the plane doesn’t have enough gas for the 20-minute flight to St. Thomas, and we need to go back to fill up.

More waiting! Brill! At least there was interracial lesbian schoolgirl action going on a couple rows ahead of me. Welcome to the islands!

From that point on, things actually went pretty well. We took off, and despite heavy rain, the short flight wasn’t too bumpy, and the landing was reasonably—and surprisingly—smooth. We got in late, but safe; although the sheer number of glitches makes me very happy that this was the last flight I’ll have to endure on American Eagle for a long, long time.

Wind Shorn

Mar. 19th, 2008 05:03 pm

Wow. I’m alive. I would have put money against that not too long ago.

It’s really funny how most flights are fine, and then some flights are just cursed.

Case in point: Tuesday’s American Eagle 5162 from San Juan to St. Thomas.

The boarding process went pretty normally. Once everyone was seated and ready to go, the flight attendant (male) came on to tell us that we’d be delayed because only one of the two pilots had reported. The missing crewman arrived after about fifteen minutes.

We finally got out onto the runway for takeoff, but we never got up to speed and wound up aborting the takeoff. Apparently an indicator light had gone off, and the pilots decided to abort and tinker with it a bit before going on.

After another 15 minutes or so, we did successfully get off, but from then on it was a 30-minute roller coaster ride, as our little ATR 72 prop plane got tossed around in the wind. The airport at St. Thomas recorded sustained 25 mph winds and 35 mph gusts, and it was much worse aloft, with the wind coming over the island’s high ridge and directly across the airport’s one runway.

Making our approach, the little commuter plane was tossed twenty feet in a random direction every few seconds. Everyone knew we were going to crash: some swore, some assumed the crash position, and others—myself included—had a death-grip on their seats. The flight attendant (male) who was seated facing us mouthed the words “OH MY GOD!” We somehow managed to get within about ten feet of touching down, but we were traveling sideways above the runway at 200 miles per hour, and the pilots gave it the gas and thankfully aborted the landing.

However, even climbing out of the area was a terrifying ride, as the plane was thrown around in the crosswinds. It didn’t seem to be getting any better when the pilot announced that we were going to swing around and try again. It was at this point that I accepted the idea that we were 90 percent likely to die.

So we turned and made another approach, and it was just as horrific as the first. Thankfully, we didn’t get within 1000 feet of the ground before the pilots waved off again. Within a couple minutes, they announced that we were headed back to San Juan. That was a relief, although I was concerned about the winds in San Juan.

That was a bit prescient, because the approach and landing in San Juan were pretty rough, although nothing like the imminent death that landing in St. Thomas had been. I had chills and was shaking from head to toe as we deplaned, and I was looking forward to a long break in the terminal while the airline waited for the weather in St. Thomas to improve.

Just ten minutes later, American Eagle had us re-board that death trap. As I stepped onto the stairway, I thought for sure that it would be the last time I would touch the Earth alive.

And then we waited. Eventually the flight attendant (male) announced that a party of four had left the flight, having missed their connection (in St. Thomas???) to Las Vegas. But that meant the airline had to unload all the luggage, retrieve the departed people’s bags, re-weigh the remaining bags, and load it all back into the aircraft. Wait, wait, wait; for about an hour. The only good thing was that it delayed my certain death, and gave the weather more time to (dear god please) improve.

We left San Juan, and the 30-minute flight to St. Thomas was noticeably smoother, although it might have been a bit rough by normal standards. Everyone’s nerves were on edge as we made our approach, and everyone prayed and assumed the crash position. It was really rough, but there seemed to be a 50 percent chance of our getting down safely.

The rear wheels touched down and one of the more religious women started clapping. Her friend shushed her immediately, knowing that getting two wheels down hardly equated with safety. We stayed on the rear gear for an uncomfortably long time while we waited for the gust that would push our wing over and flip the aircraft, but it never came. The pilot eventually slammed the front gear down and we stayed down. Then, after another long moment of waiting for them to activate the air brakes, the flaps came up and we started to slow.

It might tell you something that the first sound to be heard after we touched down was the sound of our flight attendant (male) clapping over the airplane’s intercom.

The flight, which was supposed to land at 12:12pm, got in at 3:05pm. And even on the ground, outside the airport, the wind was blowing a gale.

Sadly, I’ve got at least two more of those flights to go, and you have no idea how much I’m dreading them…

Sorry. I just had to share these two images of Provincetown, Mass, at the tip of Cape Cod.

Provincetown aerial sunrise Provincetown aerial sunrise

They were taken with my little point-and-shoot at 7:30am one morning, shortly after my flight from Boston to St. Thomas took off. They are the same photograph, but one is framed by the 757’s cowling, while the other is a cropped close-up.

In both, but especially in the close-up, you can easily see Pilgrim Lake at left, but if you look closely you can also see the Pilgrim Monument, the Provincetown Wharf, and even the causeway across the bay at Wood End. Click on "Original" to see the big full size images.

I’m really pleased with how they came out. One can only imagine what my dSLR would have captured.

More photos, of course, on my Flickr page.

Well, that was a flight. Probably second only to the Josh-cursed flight to Dallas back in 2006 that I wrote about here.

Let's start with getting out of bed at 4am. In a word, I'm too old for this shit. Verify that my 6:20 flight is still "on time"; the later 9am flight was cancelled last night in anticipation of a big Noreaster headed up the coast.

The good news is that the promised snow hasn't happened. The streets are wet with rain. The bad news is that it's just starting to turn over to snow, which pastes me pretty heavily as I walk two blocks to the nearest cab stand. I cover my head ineffectually with a local paper, mildly regretting my decision to leave my winter jacket at home this week.

Cab to the airport never exceeded 30 MPH. Most timid cabbie I've ever seen.

Get to airport, where my online check-in allows me to go straight to security. I'm quickly through and at the gate, where I meet my two coworkers, one of whom is cursed. It's dumping outside, and the snow is piling up, but we board the 757 on time at 6am.

I'm sitting next to an old woman who bathes in perfume. At least I'm not sick and not in the middle seat, as was the case last week.

We head out to get de-iced. If we take off, we'll be the last flight out. But they just closed the runway for plowing, which takes a half an hour. And in half an hour's time, we'll need to be de-iced a second time, so we're not going anywhere for an hour and a half.

Logan blizzard window

Time passes.

Actually, the snow's coming down at a rate of two inches an hour. After the half an hour to clear the runway, there are two planes ahead of us in de-icing queue. De-icing each plane will take 20 minutes. By the time those two planes are de-iced, they'll have to shut the runway down again for another cleaning. See the cycle?

More time passes.

Three or four hours in, they decide to let people leave the plane. If you leave, you have to take all your belongings with you, and you cannot re-board. You also have to stay in the gate area, because the plane will depart on a moment's notice. There's no way I'm getting off this plane unless the flight's officially cancelled.

The guy in the seat behind one of my coworkers has a diabetic episode. Fortunately, they get him stabilized.

They get the passengers back on who had deplaned earlier. Are we getting ready to leave?

No. More time passes.

A stewardess comes on to explain that due to the chemical slush on the runway, the plane cannot take off at the planned weight. Everyone expects this to be the end: they're going to cancel the flight.

But no, what she says is like the punchline to a joke that's dragged on for too long. To reduce weight, they're going to take some of the bags off the plane and leave them in Boston! They have no idea how many bags or whose bags. Nor do they care. And, to be honest, neither do the passengers, as long as the plane takes off. Cue the sound of two hundred people laughing hysterically.

Last week, and earlier today, my coworkers teased me mercilessly for being able to fit everything I needed for a week into a medium-sized backpack that was my carry-on. Who's laughing now, huh? Huh?!?!

There's no way we're making our 1pm connection from San Juan to St. Thomas. My coworker uses his phone to book us on the 5pm.

Time passes.

About half a foot of snow has fallen, but we get de-iced again. In fact, we even taxi out to the runway. It looks a lot like Antarctica, actually. Before global warming.

Logan blizzard runway

I've been sitting in the same seat of this 757 for over six hours. It's past noon, but the 6:20am flight finally does it: we lift off! Maniacal applause breaks out as the wheels lose contact with the ground. Now we just have a four hour flight to endure. And the third time I've been on a flight showing "Ratatouille".

Time passes.

As we approach Puerto Rico, we realize that we'll be landing at about 5:30pm (Atlantic time zone). Our flight to St. Thomas is listed as leaving at 5:50. We have to hoof it, and if we don't make it, we'll be staying overnight in the cesspool that is San Juan. We run, and we catch the little commuter plane. Mind you, it's not as little as last week's Cessna 402, which is another story unto itself.

The half-hour flight went well enough, and we were almost giddy to finally land at St. Thomas around 7pm, five hours late and a mere 13 hours after I left home. My co-worker's bag, of course, never showed up, but he was well beyond caring by then. We were in St. Thomas and mere minutes away from food and drink, which was key, because my entire day's food intake had consisted of two vitamins, a small pack of Twizzlers, 8 oz. of water, and 24 oz. of orange juice.

Thankfully, we got our car, had hotel rooms waiting for us (unlike last week, which is again another story), and found a tolerable restaurant. And the warmth of a Virgin Islands evening erased much of the irritation caused by Boston's snow and the day-long travel misadventure.

In December I spent a couple weeks in Columbus Ohio, scoping out a new project for work. But things got kind of quiet after that, so the holidays made for a nice little break.

However, you knew that would end. The consulting business usually picks right up again in January, and I was quickly staffed to another project, since the Columbus gig didn’t need my specific skill set.

So yesterday I flew to the client site. Did I mention that it’s on St. Thomas, in the US Virgin Islands? Yeah. That’s a good 500 miles further south than Miami, yanno.

The flight from San Juan to St. Thomas was particularly interesting. I’ve been on small planes before—most notably when I commuted from Boston to Scranton Pennsylvania in 2006—but this one took the cake: an eight-seat Cessna 402. It was the pilot, me, and one of my coworkers, and we sat right behind the pilot. Others who have taken that flight have been allowed to sit in the copilot’s seat! I got some real dramatic video footage of takeoff and landing, which I might share later, and we had a great view of the islands, since we never climbed above 3900 feet during the 30-minute flight. When we de-planed, it felt like we ought to have tipped the cabbie for the ride. The van we rented in St. Thomas could hold more people than the plane we arrived in! Really!

At least in theory, it’s a consultant’s dream to work the winter months on a Carribbean island. And, to be honest, what I’ve seen of the island so far is nice: beachside bar at the hotel, huge looming mountains just inland, swaying palms, and 80° F, of course. Nice change from last week in Boston, when it was just 7 degrees, or -9° F if you take the wind chill into account. Fun. I will conveniently ignore the fact that today Boston set an all-time record high of 66° F. Figures!

On the other hand, I am and have been sick as a dog. I could feel a cold coming on all last week, and it really took control Friday night. I spent the weekend shooting golf ball-sized balls of crap out of both my lungs and sinuses. I travelled anyways, since I thought I’d turned the corner on this thing, but the four-hour flight from Boston to San Juan was a major trial. The cabin temperature was kept at a steady 95° F, which meant I spent the whole day fighting nausea. And last night my throat hurt so badly that I couldn’t swallow, which limited me to about three hours’ sleep. Euhh. Zombie Ornoth. Hopefully tonight’ll be better, but indications aren’t good so far.

The other negative is that the project seems like it’ll be pretty strenuous. Euhh. But so far, so good. If I was healthy, this’d actually be pretty fun.

Photos and more stuff will be forthcoming, I’m sure, but give it time.

Gulling

Aug. 18th, 2004 12:30 pm

Last week, I took a bike ride down to Castle Island. There was a very strong, steady 30 mph wind blowing up from the southwest, and as I sat on the granite seawall, I watched a dozen or so seagulls hovering nearby, riding the air current.

Now, you can keep your preoccupation with raptors; I’ve always been fascinated by gulls. The clean white-and-grey colors. The sleek, swept-back wings. The eerie cry that always reminds me of home, growing up downeast. But more than anything, I’m awed by their effortless, gliding flight.

As I sat there, I watched a bird simply hover in place above the shoreline, completely still except for his head as he looked one way and another. I watched the tiny adjustments that kept him immobile as the wind alternately dropped off and freshened. With a minuscule movement of one wingtip, he’d suddenly go sailing off perpendicular to the wind in a lateral rudder roll. Or with another slight change, he’d pull a wingover and charge downwind at a headlong speed of 40-50 mph, only to wheel and climb and glide back again.

It was a masterful display of aeronautics, and such a pleasure to see that I sat there mesmerized for half an hour or so. Say what you want about how powerful your raptors are and how dirty or raucous seagulls are, but to my mind there’s no more graceful or inspirational bird than a gull in flight.

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