ornoth

I’ve found it increasingly difficult to blog over the past couple months. That’s partly due to the content I have to write about, and partly you: my audience.

The content is tricky. Since December, I’ve been absorbed in an exploration of several very sensitive topics, such as emotional sensitivity, social life, group dynamics, gender relations, romantic relationships, and sexuality.

While I am extremely open about sharing what’s going on for me, this kind of content naturally leads me to reflect upon how much of this very personal material I want to share in a permanently-archived, public blog.

On top of that, the overall theme of my inquiry is social, so I have to be doubly careful about what I post. Instead of just worrying about my own privacy, I also have to consider the privacy of the other people I mention, and how they would feel if they saw my description of our interactions posted online.

Furthermore, I’m also embarking upon a job hunt, which introduces the question of prospective employers and coworkers discovering this blog. That too influences what content I feel comfortable posting at present. Although I hope that prospective employers would see the value in hiring someone with a complex, dynamic internal life, rather than a coding robot with no depth of personality.

So all those considerations have left me feeling pretty constrained.

That doesn’t mean I won’t be posting, but it might take more time than usual for important topics to show up (as you’ve seen by the delayed writeup of my New Years meditation retreat). And some important events might only get alluded to in passing, if at all.

As implied above, I have a ton of stuff going on right now; the past two months have been incredibly transformative, featuring lots of amazing developments and just as many heart-wrenching problems. Things are happening very quickly, so I’m having difficulty keeping up to date in sharing my thoughts and reactions.

I guess the bottom line is this: thanks for your patience, for your friendship, and for any role you’ve had in my life over the past couple months.

And there’s more to come, you can be sure…

Some good article pointers. Cred to somervillian for the bike-related ones.

Married Bed Death and Sexual Play: Several good points here, like porn and BDSM having value, men not being depicted as sexual predators, and so forth.
Male Bisexuality: Interesting points, not just about sexuality as a continuum rather than two discrete opposites, but also how sexuality can vary, leading to a host of problems for people who cling tightly to the idea of sexuality as an “identity”.
The Most Energy Efficient Method of Transportation in the World: Especially good is the last set of data, where it’s shown that an automobile requires FIFTY TIMES more energy per mile travelled than a bike.
The Most Popular Method of Transportation in the World: And here’s another interesting tidbit: there are three and a half times as many bikes on the road as there are cars. So you’d better get used to ’em!

So… I want to tag my journal. You know, organize posts by topic. The problem is, I can’t decide whether to do it via LJ’s tags facility or its memories feature. Anyone have any opinions?

Tags seem a bit easier to use, but tags will only show the last hundred posts for a given topic, which seems unnecessarily limiting. early on, before LJ implemented the tags facility, I did some tagging using the memories feature, and that seems to work okay, for the most part.

So I can’t decide. Do you use either? Both? Neither? Vote, and put any additional info in comments. Thanks!

[Poll #654050]

It’s been many months since the Friday Five went away, so I guess I’ll take a stab at these questions that are doing the rounds. You didn’t think I’d miss an opportunity to be unique, did you? Mind you, I’m not about to limit myself to one answer each! Let’s get esoteric!

Name a book you own that no one on your friends list does

Seven Dada Manifestos and Lampisteries, Tristan Tzara: Why doesn’t everyone have a copy of the original Dada manifestos? I don’t know, but I do know that Tristan Tzara considered himself rather likable.
A Diplomatic History of the American People, Bailey: It shouldn’t really surprise anyone that just as today, the entire history of American foreign relations is rife with tales of belligerent, ignorant Merkuns.
Calhamer on Diplomacy: The Boardgame “Diplomacy” and Diplomatic History, Allan Calhamer: A fascinating discussion of the correlation between the world’s greatest game, Avalon Hill’s Diplomacy, and the real-world geopolitical situation in pre-war Europe that it simulates, written by the game’s creator.
Dark Tide: The Great Boston Molasses Flood of 1919, Stephen Puleo: A chronicle of one of the most surreal—yet painfully real—tragedies in Boston’s storied history.
Eugenics and Sex Harmony, Dr. Herman Rubin (1933): The full title of this 1933 book tells it all: Eugenics and Sex Harmony; The Sexes, Their Relations and Problems; Including Fascinating Medical Discoveries, Prevention of Disease, and Special Advice for Common Disorders; by Herman H. Rubin, M.D.; Author of “Your Mysterious Glands”, “Glands and Health”, Member of American Association for the Advancement of Science, American Eugenics Society, Eugenics Research Association, Contributor to Scientific and Medical Literature, etc. Imagine all the fun to be found in a 75 year-old sex ed textbook. A wonderful time capsule, chock full of bigotry and ignorance.

Name a CD you own that no one on your friends list does

Liabach, Let It Be: Laibach is a Slovenian art movement and industrial dance band with an affection for everything Germanic, covering every song on one of the Beatles’ most popular albums: how can you go wrong? Their revision of “One After 909” is truly righteous.
Various incl. Laibach, Trans Slovenia Express: Laibach again, paired with other Slovenian bands, doing remakes of Kraftwerk’s most popular songs. Musique… non-stop.
HWA (Hoez With Attitude), Livin’ in a Hoe House: The original bitches, HWA did for rap what Lords of Acid did for dance: sexualized it by bringing forth the nasty attitude of the powerful, sexually-motivated woman.
Concussion Ensemble, Stampede: Concussion, indeed! Imagine a high-energy band, sans vocals, fronted by three drummers, backed up by bass, guitar, and a found-objects percussionist. It’s a tragedy that these guys didn’t stay together.
Devo, Devo E-Z Listening Disc: Devo. Muzak. We must repeat.

Name a DVD/VHS tape you own that no one on your friends list does

Yawn. I only own two DVDs, and surprisingly both are animated features. The first is Richard Linklater’s Waking Life, a wonderful romp through pop philosophy and navel-gazing. The other… In the summer of 1981 I was between junior and senior years in high school and just coming into possession of a teenaged boy’s cockiness offset by sexually frustrated angst. Ivan Reitman’s Heavy Metal captured that time perfectly in a splat of kitschy sci-fi spiced with sex, drugs, music, and violence. It’s a one-way ticket to midnight. As for VHS tapes, that box hasn’t been opened since 1990, and is going to stay that way.

Name a place you’ve been that no one on your friends list has been

I think I have two to pick from here, and they’re my only two trips outside the US (no, Canadia doesn’t count). My 2000 trip to Barbados with some of the Staples project team was absolutely wonderful, as was the 2002 DargonZine Writers’ Summit, where my writers and I spent two weeks travelling all over Scotland. I’d repeat either of those trips in a heartbeat.

So I could be wrong, but it really seems that the overwhelming majority of my dreams have a very strong sexual component. Informal recent observations would support that conclusion. And while I haven't undertaken a dream journal in 15 years, my recollection is that even then I had some very creative (ed: outlandish?) sexual images in my dreams, so that would seem to be in accord.

I'm sure a Freudian would have something to say about that, or anyone who had read my 2/28 private journal entry entitled "Sex: the Worst Part of Life".

But I find it an interesting observation. Perhaps I should get back into the habit of recording my dreams. If my experience in college was any indicator, it would probably produce some very amusing and intriguing anecdotes!

Entries tagged with sexuality

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Sweet Dreams are Made of These

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