Holding Pattern

[ornoth]

I’ve found it increasingly difficult to blog over the past couple months. That’s partly due to the content I have to write about, and partly you: my audience.

The content is tricky. Since December, I’ve been absorbed in an exploration of several very sensitive topics, such as emotional sensitivity, social life, group dynamics, gender relations, romantic relationships, and sexuality.

While I am extremely open about sharing what’s going on for me, this kind of content naturally leads me to reflect upon how much of this very personal material I want to share in a permanently-archived, public blog.

On top of that, the overall theme of my inquiry is social, so I have to be doubly careful about what I post. Instead of just worrying about my own privacy, I also have to consider the privacy of the other people I mention, and how they would feel if they saw my description of our interactions posted online.

Furthermore, I’m also embarking upon a job hunt, which introduces the question of prospective employers and coworkers discovering this blog. That too influences what content I feel comfortable posting at present. Although I hope that prospective employers would see the value in hiring someone with a complex, dynamic internal life, rather than a coding robot with no depth of personality.

So all those considerations have left me feeling pretty constrained.

That doesn’t mean I won’t be posting, but it might take more time than usual for important topics to show up (as you’ve seen by the delayed writeup of my New Years meditation retreat). And some important events might only get alluded to in passing, if at all.

As implied above, I have a ton of stuff going on right now; the past two months have been incredibly transformative, featuring lots of amazing developments and just as many heart-wrenching problems. Things are happening very quickly, so I’m having difficulty keeping up to date in sharing my thoughts and reactions.

I guess the bottom line is this: thanks for your patience, for your friendship, and for any role you’ve had in my life over the past couple months.

And there’s more to come, you can be sure…