ornoth

Let’s meme a meme.

Time?: 14:06 EST
Can you fill this out without lying?: I try my best to never lie, so lying would be more difficult for me than being truthful.
What was the last thing you put in your mouth?: A homemade chicken quesadilla, followed by two 400 IU Vitamin D-3, washed down with 3 cups of Langers Berry Punch fruit juice cut 1:1 with water.
Have you ever kissed anyone named Scott?: Not that I recall.
Where was your profile picture taken?: On Rock Harbor Road going through the salt marsh in Orleans, Massachusetts during the 2010 Pan-Mass Challenge. Approximately (41.797871, -69.99278).
Can you play guitar hero?: I have never tried.
Name someone that made you laugh today?: Probably Inna.
How late did you stay up last night and why?: I went to bed early last night, shortly after 10pm, because I've underslept the past several days and can only make that deficit up on the front side.
If you could move somewhere else, would you?: I would retain my current residence, but I would also maintain a summer home on Cape Cod and a winter residence in the Caribbean.
Ever been kissed under fireworks?: Probably. Ailsa and Inna are the most likely culprits.
Which of your friends lives closest to you?: Probably Roopa.
Do you believe ex's can be friends?: I am friendly with nearly all of my exes, and it's highly probable that they would be friendly to one another, as well.
How do you feel about Dr Pepper?: Like any soft drink, it's terribly unhealthy for you.
When was the last time you cried really hard?: I don't recall.
Where are you right now?: Home, at desk.
Who took your profile picture?: An official Pan-Mass Challenge event photographer.
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Aside from my cat Grady, I shot someone's handbag; I think it was Kaela's. And before that, someone's feet; that might have been Zeenat. And before that, Ranjeev.
Was yesterday better than today?: Today's pretty good, but it would be difficult to beat the day I had yesterday, which featured a major life development.
Can you live a day without TV?: I have lived over 16 years without a television. I'll go out to a pub to watch the NBA playoffs if the Celtics are in contention, but that's about it.
Are you upset about anything?: Being upset is an indicator of emotional immaturity and denial of responsibility for one's internal state.
Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?: They probably are, but I tend to prefer relationships which are easygoing and undemanding. Most relationships aren’t worth a lot of drama.
Are you a bad influence?: I wouldn't be the right person to ask.
Night out or night in?: Usually in. Out can be fun, with the right small group of people.
What items could you not go without during the day?: There aren't any particular items that I require every day.
Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?: Possibly Inna or maybe an uncle.
What does the last text message in your inbox say?: "up?????"
How do you feel about your life right now?: Generally quite satisfied at the strategic level, although the aging process is a bit of a challenge. At the tactical level, there's some tension, as I'm in the middle of a transition period.
Do you hate anyone?: I try not to.
If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?: Messages from recruiters. Spam. Anke's recipe for aloo mutter. A thank-you note.
Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?: Drug have never been part of my life, and I haven't touched alcohol in three years.
Ever been arrested?: No.
Has anyone ever called you perfect before?: Many times. I do my best to live up to that expectation.
What song is stuck in your head?: None. I've taken to avoiding music recently for precisely that reason. Although I did recently receive a pointer to Madness' "Night Boat to Cairo" video, and Madness is one of my two worst bands in the world for earworms (the other being Bim Skala Bim).
Someone knocks on your window at 2am, who do you want it to be?: Ed McMahon, with a very large check.
Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?: Not in ten thousand years.
Name something you have to do tomorrow?: Test my bike out by doing a workout on the indoor trainer, since I just lowered my handlebars. Bring my bike down to the LBS for its five-year overhaul. Reserve a car for a Foxwoods trip. Register for the Old Ironsides 4th of July turnaround cruise lottery. Let the maintenance staff into the condo to test the fire alarms. Run the monthly backup and defrag jobs on my laptop.
Do you think too much or too little?: I find it unlikely that you'll be able to convince me that there is such a thing as too much thought.
Do you smile a lot?: A whole lot more than I used to, that's for sure.
Who was your last missed call on your Mobile phone?: Inna.
Is there something you always wear?: During the summer, I usually wear sandals, and I'm always wearing my cycling sandals while riding. I also usually wear my PMC wristband during the summer.
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?: Flipping the stem on my bike's handlebars, in order to lower them.
Did you have an exciting last weekend?: Not bad. Dhamma book club was good, and hanging out with Jay was good, too, although I probably shouldn't have eaten that entire calzone.
Have you ever crawled through a window?: Numerous times.
Have you ever dyed your hair?: Blue, red, blond.
Are you wearing a necklace?: No.
Are you an emotional person?: What are these emotions you speak of?
What's something that can always make you feel better?: Bike, ice cream, sunbeams, kitteh, money.
Will this weekend be a good one?: Probably. Dinner with Carla, and my Kalyana Mitta group, at minimum.
What do you want right now?: Wanting is a self-destructive behavior. The less wanting you do, the more satisfied you will find yourself.
Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?: Of course.
Have you ever worked in a food place?: Several.
Does anyone know your facebook password?: No. Even *I* don't know my F*c*book password, as all my passwords are maintained by a password safe, and you have to go to special lengths to view them. And even if I did see it, it's unlikely I'd remember it, since it's a meaningless random string of several dozen characters and symbols.

One browser feature I make frequent use of is the auto-complete in the URL field. I can almost always get to the URL I want within one or two keystrokes and one or two down-arrows. Usually it’s a nice combination of sites I’ve visited recently and sites I visit most often.

This got me thinking about what URLs would come up as the first result for a one-character search starting with each letter of the alphabet. That is, go to your URL bar and type ’A’ and see what comes up, then ’B’, etc.

Thus another new meme is born, courtesy of YT.

Here’s what came up for me this evening:

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Well, on one hand, I have referred to both Grady and the Puggle as my “roommate”…

But on the other hand, I also have also taken great relish in staring them down and repeatedly saying to them, “I *own* you!”.

And when you think about it, doesn’t being called a “pet” imply just as much imbalance as having an “owner”?

I just don’t understand why people put so much effort into arguing about semantics when that energy could be applied to something that might produce real meaningful change.

[Error: unknown template qotd]

The emergency evacuation list posted by the exit contains the following items:

Cat in cat carrier
Shut off water and electricity
The important papers pouch (wills, passports, insurance, safe deposit box keys)
Digital camera, after shooting to document the current state of the apartment
Laptop, cords, backup DVDs, portable hard drive, and USB memory stick
Cell phone and cords
Wallet, cash, keys
Warm clothes if wintertime
Flashlight

Forty albums that influenced me meme, huh? Okay, I’ll play along with this one.

Rather than try to order them by some subjective ranking of how big an influence each was, I think I’ll do my best to set them down in as close to a chronological order as I can. Hopefully that’ll give you an idea what my road has been like.

Abba: Greatest Hits Vol. 2
Elton John: Captain Fantastic
Sweet: Desolation Boulevard
Aerosmith: Toys in the Attic
Devo: Freedom of Choice
The Cars: The Cars
Various: Heavy Metal: The Motion Picture Soundtrack
Soft Cell: Non-Stop Erotic Caberet
Aldo Nova: Aldo Nova
Loverboy: Get Lucky
Billy Squier: Emotions in Motion
Def Leppard: Pyromania
Fleetwood Mac: Tusk
Nik Kershaw: The Riddle
Wall of Voodoo: Call of the West
Art of Noise: (Who’s Afraid of) the Art of Noise
Rush: Caress of Steel
They Might Be Giants: They Might Be Giants
Negativland: Escape From Noise
Moby: Moby
H.W.A.: Livin’ in a Hoe House
Laibach: Opus Dei
Ministry: The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste
Kraftwerk: Electric Cafe
KMFDM: Nihil
KLF: The White Room
EMF: Schubert Dip
Bentmen: Magicroom
Emergency Broadcast Network: Behavior Modification / We Will Rock You
Concussion Ensemble: Stampede
Shriekback: Go Bang!
Robert Plant: Now and Zen
Stan Ridgway: Mosquitos
Various: Mashin’ Up the Nation Vols. 1 and 2
Madness: Complete Madness
Dance Hall Crashers: Lockjaw
Toasters: Dub 56
Beat Soup: Start From Scratch
Gangster Fun: Pure Amphetamines
Pressure Cooker: Pressure Cooker

Song title Q&A meme: DEVO!

Are you male or female:
Post-Post-Modern Man
Describe yourself:
Happy Guy
How do you feel about yourself:
Through Being Cool
Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
Soft Things
Describe your current boy/girl situation:
Shrivel-Up
Describe your current location:
Wiggly World
Describe where you want to be:
The Satisfied Mind
Your best friend is:
Swelling Itching Brain
Your favorite color is:
Pink Pussycat
You know that:
A Change is Gonna Cum
What’s the weather like:
Beautiful World
If your life was a television show what would it be called?
Time Out For Fun
What is life to you:
Freedom of Choice
What is the best advice you have to give:
Whip It
If you could change your name what would you change it to:
Mr. DNA

Answers to the “interview me” meme, with questions posed by lothie. Actually, I didn’t ask to be interviewed, but since she took the time to come up with questions, I figure I orta answer.

I passed on this meme the first time it came around, so I’m not looking to ask anyone else any questions, but if you insist, I’ll do.

What's your opinion on the Tao?: Not much, actually. It’s kinda orthogonal to Buddhism, or at least the southeast Asian Theravadan Buddhism from Thailand and Sri Lanka that I’m most familiar with. The Tibetan, Chinese, Korean, and Japanese forms of Buddhism might have been more influenced by it. But aside from that, I’m nt sure I fully agree in the whole balance idea, although there are aspects of it that do appear in the concept of the “Middle Way”.
If you could have dinner with a famous dead person, what would you eat?: Well, they’d probably turn my stomach, being dead and all, so maybe something very light. And they’d probably smell really bad, so something aromatic. Dead people aren’t the greatest companions, or at least so I believe, never having supped with one.
What is your least favorite thing about Boston?: Hmmm. Corruption. How hard it is to get some obvious things done. The barriers that people put up and how difficult it is to meet people. The whole car culture; there are several areas of town that should simply be closed to motor traffic, period. The lack of light in the winter and its duration. Those are probably the big things.
Spam: evil or food of the gods? Discuss. Give examples.: Spam is pretty useless. It’s 82% fat, and one slab is 750mg of sodium, so it’s basically a death bomb. Fried, it’s really not very appealling. I seem to recall my mother maybe putting it in ham salad back in the 70s, when I actually ate such things. On the other hand, it’s mostly pork, and pork is the food of the gods; it’s just that there are much healthier and tasty ways to get your piggy on than Spam.
Any do-overs you'd like to have?: Not many, but a few. I would like to have treated most of my SOs better. I would like to have been more sexually active when I was younger. Those are really my only significant regrets.

I agreed to play this meme, so now I have to post.

The idea is this: Ask me, and I’ll pick three of your listed interests and three of your userpics and ask you to talk about them. Express your interest in a comment on this entry.

Here are the ones greatsword asked me to talk about:

Interests: bentmen, hand_drumming, vipassana.
Images: Righteous, sunglasses, puggle

Bentmen:

Back in the early 90s, shortly after my wife and I separated, I started hanging out with friends in Boston’s music scene. There were so many great local bands back then, and we managed to make friends with a few players, including an absolutely amazing guitarist named Eddie Nowik. Usually he played with a band called Crisis of Faith at the Plough & Stars, but he also played occasionally with a band called the Bentmen.

The Bentmen are hard to explain. They play rock with disturbing, eerie overtones. There’s some MP3s on www.bentmen.com and they’re also on iTunes. But the spectacle is the live show. The stage is decorated in the most bizarre fashion, and the band members come out in the most disturbing, scary outfits they can devise. They spray the audience with shaving cream and tempura paint (sic). They hook beanbag chairs up to leafblowers and spray the audience with feathers and little foam pellets. They toss out ice cream sandwiches, severed Barbie doll heads, and anything else they can procure. The venue gets utterly trashed, left knee-deep in refuse.

But beyond all that is the music; they’re all gifted, prominent musicians. They play very rarely, but when they do, it’s chaos, and quite a spectacle. You can see a few pictures I took at their most recent show (last October) here.

Hand Drumming:

About the same time as I started getting into the music scene, I developed a passion for drums. I bought a drum set and spent a lot of time playing around, despite knowing that I have an absolutely horrid sense of rhythm. I later replaced that with an electronic kit, which I still have. And the music store gave me a credit when I bought the e-drums, so I spent that on a set of bongos, although I’d already gotten into hand drumming by then.

I’m not sure when I picked up hand drumming or how. I guess I must have gone to a Cambridge Drum & Dance and liked what I saw, because I picked up a Remo “klong yaw”, which is sort of like a djembe, only taller. You can see it here. I also took a hand drumming course with Inna. Now I’ve also got Inna’s djembe at home, and some miscellaneous stuff, including a rain stick, claves, Boomwhackers, a bottled water jug, a didgeridoo, a cheap goatskin drum a friend brought back from South Africa, and probably some other stuff I don’t have readily in memory. But I’m still just a wannabe in every way…

Vipassana:

Vipassana generally refers to “insight meditation”, a sort of non-sectarian form of meditation derived from Theravada Buddhism, which itself is based around the Tipitaka, aka the Pali canon, the oldest, seminal Buddhist texts. The other Buddhist schools all include other texts which were developed later. Theravada itself seems pretty inocuous, without a lot of the saints and mythological and ceremonial stuff and hierarchy that you get in other sects. But Vipassana is even one level removed from that, which is why “insight meditation” is more generally accepted in the west, where people are all skitchy about anything smacking of religion.

Righteous:

This shot was taken during the 2002 Dargon Summit in Scotland. We were taking a group guided tour of Sterling Castle, which was awesome, and here was this pulpit kinda place in the Great Hall. So while the tour guide was talking, I stood atop the pulpit while my buddy took the picture from below. The shot of someone (especially the editor) on a soapbox, pontificating, is a Summit standard, and I thought that’d be a good icon for when I’m feeling opinionated.

Sunglasses:

This shot was taken at the 2003 Dargon Summit in Austin, Texas. The shot was taken by my Assistant Editor as I was piloting our rented party boat near Mansfield Dam on Lake Travis, while we looked for a swimming spot. That was the largest Summit gathering of all, and the inception of DargonZine’s immense “Black Idol” story arc, the biggest collaborative story we’ve ever written. I use this photo mostly when I wanna be like Joe Cool…

Puggle:

That’s the Puggle! My kittykat! Puggle came to me along with two other cats and a four year-old when ailsaek moved in. When she moved out, I expressed the desire to keep the Puggle, and he and I lived together for a dozen years in great happiness and joy. He was a very important companion for me until his death of congestive heart failure on Christmas Eve 2005. The photo is cropped from this photo, whose caption is: So what if it’s a formal sitting? My foot itches! I used to use this one when I talked about the Puggle or cats in general.

Okay, so who wants in?

The “first sentence of each month” meme…

So… I want to tag my journal. Okay, I think I can talk about yesterday now. 4:52am. In recent months I’ve seen at least three college graduates on my friends list type “loose” when they meant “lose”, or vice versa, and it’s just as common an occurrence for the people who write for my magazine. It hasn’t yet been a month since I ranted about “lose” versus “loose” in this entry. Okay, I’m applying some originality here. iniren was reading through the Boston Phoenix during her visit last week and came across some self-promotional filler that read: Be as hip and trendy in real life as you pretend to be on the web. Hey everybody, I have arrived in Bourne, at the base of the Cape Cod Canal, after a 112 day ride in the saddle that featured a little bit of cramping, a lot of just general tiredness and heat on a beautiful weather day and it’s really so far been a pretty positive experience. Oh what the heck… Wow… If you wanna get your LJ noticed, say something disparaging about love! No shit, there I was: scenic Lechmere T station, one cold October afternoon, looking for a bus to take me into the bowels of Meffid. I thought I’d share a favorite bit o’ Thomas Moore with you this evening.

All answers. Two words. Got picture? Now go!

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? Thermonuclear war.
2. When was the last time you shaved? Carpe diem.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Reading clock.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Presto change-o.
5. Are you any good at math? Radical one.
6. Your prom night? What prom?
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Your gran'mama.
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Not really.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? Haha FTN!
10. Last thing received in the mail? Credit offers.
11. How many different beverages have you had today? OJ Simpson.
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine? Stupid question.
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Ailsa Loverboy.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Fucking egotism.
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had? 30,000 dollars.
16. What is out your back door? Newbury Street!
17. Any plans for Friday night? QUITTING JOB!
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? What hair?
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Ewww no.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Yawn. Yeah.
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? Before, too!
22. Some things you are excited about? Munny! MUNNNNNY!!!
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Dead kelp.
24. Describe your keychain(s)? Null set.
25. Where do you keep your change? Under scotch.
26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? Work award.
27. What kind of winter coat do you own? Leather, suede.
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? Schoolkid question.
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Nasal passage.

Okay, I'm applying some originality here. Took the 30-song meme (post the first line of 30 shuffle songs so people can guess what they are), and modified it to suit my own evil porpoises.

Took the first 30 (mostly) coherent sentences from shuffle, then ordered them a bit creatively, and what follows is the result. I must say, I have a number of songs with particularly intriguing lyrics! So what does the pod say to me?

RATED R FOR EXPLICIT LANGUAGE

Please allow me to introduce myself: I'm a man of wealth and taste. I am W O O O. This speech is my recital. The autonomous Commie republic, which is part of the Russian federation, is situatied in the far northwest of Europe, and spreads up to the arctic part of the Ural mountains. Now we're up to our long-distance dedication and this one is about kids, and pets, and a situation that we can all understand, whether we have kids, or pets, or neither. I don't want to live in a world of darkness. Will these dreams still follow me, out of dark obscurity? Woke up this morning and I looked outside. Big lizard in my backyard; can't afford to feed him anymore. Shout! Was ist los mit dir mein Schatz, uh-huh? Found an earring; where's my sponge? Aw, you've had all the breaks. Never lose my wallet; it would put me in a spot. I know this girl -- a hard rocker -- you couldn't stop her if you tried. Dig, if you will, the picture of you and I engaged in a kiss. Funk me baby... Stereotomy: we can make it forever. Well... once is never enough; never is and never was, uh-huh. Stop wasting my time. You got a little dick and, motherfucker, I don't think I can cope with it. Leave my monkey alone. Breathe! One good thing about music: when it hits you feel no pain. Love to hear the ping go off in my ear. A wah-do-dem a wah-do-dem-dem-dem. Fame, fame makes a man take things over. The stove, the stove, the stove has come alive. Born to love volcanos; seen 'em on PBS.

Okay, sometimes I’ll see a quiz or a meme and I’ll take/do it, but I usually don’t post the results. So I did this one, and I think the results are interesting. Not stellar, but maybe a bit interesting. So here.

I put the iPod on shuffle, and matched the first thirteen song titles with the following questions:

What do you think of me?

Money Money Money (Abba).
Always sunny in the rich man’s world. What could be more appropriate?
Will I have a happy life?

Behavior Modification / We Will Rock You (EBN).
George Bush Sr. tells us:

Some may ask why rock out now?
The answer is clear:
These are the times that rock men’s souls.
What do my friends really think of me?

Beatles Zebra Crossing (Shriekback).
This was the holy land when
they were more popular than god.
Upon this bridge of black and white
their sacred naked feet have trod.
Do people secretly lust after me?

Funky Drummer (James Brown).
James Brown? Hyeaaaaaaah! Like a sex machine! Good god y’all!
How can I make myself happy?

Why’s Everybody Always Pickin’ On Me? (Bloodhound Gang).
Oops…
What should I do with my life?

Brink of Collapse (Shriekback).
Oh dear.
Why must life be so full of pain?

Stay Up Late (Talking Heads)
Sister, sister, he’s just a plaything.
We wanna make him stay up all night.
Will I ever have children?

Airhead (Thomas Dolby).
That sounds ominous, but You ask me do I love you… Does the pope live in the woods?
Will I die happy?

The Mob Rules (Black Sabbath).
Ailsa gets Iron Maiden, and I get Black Sabbath? It’s over it’s done; the end is begun.
Can you give me some advice?

Gut Feeling / Slap Your Mammy (Devo).
Slap your mammy down. Slap your mammy down again. That’s unambiguous.
What do you think happiness is?

The Last Honest Man (Stan Ridgway)

Well later on that night
In a motel room down the road
He kept his meeting for a cat-o-nine beating
From a leather-clad man named Moe.
What is my favorite fetish?

Sacrificial Lambs (Warren Zevon).
Now that’s just sick!

We’re having a party
We’re burning it down
We’re building an idol
He’s sad but he don’t frown
He’s the cream of the crop
So we’re making him god
Start writing this down
When I give you the nod
How will I be remembered?

Make It Mine (Shamen).

Mean, lean, lazy and fine
That’s the way I make it make it mine
Sure, slow, rolling with the flow
That’s the way I make it make it show
That’s the way I move it
That’s the way I prove it
Just so you know, here’s how I do it
Listen how I make it, make it mine
Everytime

Sort by song name:

First: “’Agitated’ - Hyperextended Mix” by Devo. The problem here is that I’ve got this song which starts with a single-quote, another one that starts with a double-quote, seven that begin with an open-paren, one that begins with a questionmark, one with an open-bracket, and one that’s just a random 5-digit number before you get to the first “real” song title, which is “13 Above the Night” by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult.
Last: “Zoroaster 2000 (Reces)” by Laibach nudges out Cherry Poppin’ Daddies’ “Zoot Suit Riot” and several Zencast podcast dharma talks.

Sort by time:

Shortest Song: “Jive” by Cibo Matto and “Drunk Drivin’” by Sublime are tied at a big 18 seconds.
Longest Song: Well, there’s the 3-hour KPFA “Over the Edge” radio show that’s put on by the gents in Negativland. Then the next 23 are all dharma talks from either Zencast or Audio Dharma. The first actual song is a 22-minute version of Kraftwerk’s “Autobahn”.

Sort by artist:

First: The entire “Royal Astronomy” album by µ-Ziq.
Last: “TV Dinners”, “Sharp Dressed Man”, and “Gimme All Your Lovin’” from ZZ Top’s “Eliminator” album.

Sort by album:

First Album: Same story. the Dufay Collective’s “’a L’estampida’ Medieval Dance Music” wins because of a quote. The first “real” album would be (surprise) “13 Above the Night” by Thrill Kill Kult.
Last Album: Here’s where CPD make it onto the list with “Zoot Suit Riot”.

Top Five Most Played Songs:

1. Eek-a-Mouse’s “Bicycle”
2. Peter Tosh’s “Shame and Scandal in the Family”
3. Wall of Voodoo’s “Back in Flesh (live)”
4. ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man” (huh?)
5. 43-way tie, sorry…

First five songs that come up on Shuffle:

1. They Might Be Giants’ “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Clothes”
2. Cibo Matto’s “Beef Jerky”
3. Wall of Voodoo’s “Back in Flesh (live)” (surprise)
4. Burning Spear’s “Appointment with his Majesty”
5. Toots and the Maytals’ “Funky Kingston”

It’s doing the rounds...

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
Myself, silly. You think I obsess over individual body parts?
How much cash do you have on you?
13 ones and four crisp uncirculated fives, all marked for Where’s George, and a marked $10 bill from a 70 year-old man named Raymond in Milford CT that he spent at the Mohegan Sun casino.
What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
BREAST!!!
Favorite plant?
Holly, lilly of the valley, any conifer.
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
That would be Bank of America, chasing me for my money, the fools.
What is your main ring tone on your cell phone?
Uh, a telephone ringing. Duh.
What shirt are you wearing?
Dark grey cotton crewneck with light grey pinstripes.
What do you "label" yourself?
I’m Ornoth.
Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Shimano. Yes, that’s a company that makes bicycle components.
Bright or Dark Room?
Preferred, or presently? Sunlight is nice, but not too bright. Presently, fluorescents.
What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
That’s an essay question!
Ever "spilled the beans"?
I am god here.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping…
What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
You just got a hit! To see the details, visit Where’s George? Now!
Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
I don’t get them. That’s what firewalls are for.
What's a saying that you say a lot?
Fuckin’ meow.
Who told you they loved you last?
I have no recollection of the events in question, Senator.
How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days?
Some cola, some Gatorade.
How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
What is this “film” you speak of?
Favorite age you have been so far?
I think 29.
Your worst enemy?
A former manager who worked behind my back to discredit me, for no reason that I can fathom.
What is your current desktop picture?
http://pics.livejournal.com/ornoth/pic/0006022e
What was the last thing you said to someone?
I believe it was “Are there weekend plans?”
If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
I do not believe in regrets, but the mil would be useful.
Do you love/like someone?
It would be difficult not to.

If you’re an Orny reader, you’ll know by now that for the past couple years I’ve been reexamining my personal philosophy, which has led me from secular humanism and Existentialism into Buddhism. So the following quiz results should come as no surprise to you:

Buddhism

67%

atheism

67%

paganism

67%

agnosticism

63%

Satanism

58%

Islam

42%

Judaism

25%

Christianity

17%

Hinduism

I am pretty righteously amused, however, to see a perfect tie between Buddhism, atheism, and paganism. I would admit to all three, and think there’s absolutely nothing that makes them incompatible with one another.

I also took the “commonly confused words” test and got the following:

English Genius
You scored 86% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 88% Expert!

That is, of course, not a surprise, although the botched “beginner” level is a bit odd. Having spent the past 35 years with writing competence as a priority, I actually expected a bit better.

It’s been many months since the Friday Five went away, so I guess I’ll take a stab at these questions that are doing the rounds. You didn’t think I’d miss an opportunity to be unique, did you? Mind you, I’m not about to limit myself to one answer each! Let’s get esoteric!

Name a book you own that no one on your friends list does

Seven Dada Manifestos and Lampisteries, Tristan Tzara: Why doesn’t everyone have a copy of the original Dada manifestos? I don’t know, but I do know that Tristan Tzara considered himself rather likable.
A Diplomatic History of the American People, Bailey: It shouldn’t really surprise anyone that just as today, the entire history of American foreign relations is rife with tales of belligerent, ignorant Merkuns.
Calhamer on Diplomacy: The Boardgame “Diplomacy” and Diplomatic History, Allan Calhamer: A fascinating discussion of the correlation between the world’s greatest game, Avalon Hill’s Diplomacy, and the real-world geopolitical situation in pre-war Europe that it simulates, written by the game’s creator.
Dark Tide: The Great Boston Molasses Flood of 1919, Stephen Puleo: A chronicle of one of the most surreal—yet painfully real—tragedies in Boston’s storied history.
Eugenics and Sex Harmony, Dr. Herman Rubin (1933): The full title of this 1933 book tells it all: Eugenics and Sex Harmony; The Sexes, Their Relations and Problems; Including Fascinating Medical Discoveries, Prevention of Disease, and Special Advice for Common Disorders; by Herman H. Rubin, M.D.; Author of “Your Mysterious Glands”, “Glands and Health”, Member of American Association for the Advancement of Science, American Eugenics Society, Eugenics Research Association, Contributor to Scientific and Medical Literature, etc. Imagine all the fun to be found in a 75 year-old sex ed textbook. A wonderful time capsule, chock full of bigotry and ignorance.

Name a CD you own that no one on your friends list does

Liabach, Let It Be: Laibach is a Slovenian art movement and industrial dance band with an affection for everything Germanic, covering every song on one of the Beatles’ most popular albums: how can you go wrong? Their revision of “One After 909” is truly righteous.
Various incl. Laibach, Trans Slovenia Express: Laibach again, paired with other Slovenian bands, doing remakes of Kraftwerk’s most popular songs. Musique… non-stop.
HWA (Hoez With Attitude), Livin’ in a Hoe House: The original bitches, HWA did for rap what Lords of Acid did for dance: sexualized it by bringing forth the nasty attitude of the powerful, sexually-motivated woman.
Concussion Ensemble, Stampede: Concussion, indeed! Imagine a high-energy band, sans vocals, fronted by three drummers, backed up by bass, guitar, and a found-objects percussionist. It’s a tragedy that these guys didn’t stay together.
Devo, Devo E-Z Listening Disc: Devo. Muzak. We must repeat.

Name a DVD/VHS tape you own that no one on your friends list does

Yawn. I only own two DVDs, and surprisingly both are animated features. The first is Richard Linklater’s Waking Life, a wonderful romp through pop philosophy and navel-gazing. The other… In the summer of 1981 I was between junior and senior years in high school and just coming into possession of a teenaged boy’s cockiness offset by sexually frustrated angst. Ivan Reitman’s Heavy Metal captured that time perfectly in a splat of kitschy sci-fi spiced with sex, drugs, music, and violence. It’s a one-way ticket to midnight. As for VHS tapes, that box hasn’t been opened since 1990, and is going to stay that way.

Name a place you’ve been that no one on your friends list has been

I think I have two to pick from here, and they’re my only two trips outside the US (no, Canadia doesn’t count). My 2000 trip to Barbados with some of the Staples project team was absolutely wonderful, as was the 2002 DargonZine Writers’ Summit, where my writers and I spent two weeks travelling all over Scotland. I’d repeat either of those trips in a heartbeat.

You’re all so fond of the “enter your name (or username) into images.google.com and post what you get” meme. Fine.

When I do that, I get 464 results, 461 of which are from my personal site or the DargonZine site.

Those three that are not from my sites, which don’t even begin to show up until image #160, are from my now-defunct Pan-Mass Challenge personal page for last year. They are a log-in button, an “eGift” (donation) button, and the thermometer bar chart that showed how much money I’d raised.

No, Virginia, there are no images for “Ornoth” anywhere on the Internet but my own sites. Okay?

This is what you get for befriending me. I just find these descriptions eminently satisfying. From <http://thesurrealist.co.uk/monster>.

ailsaek is a Giant Mecha-Bee that Fears Nothing, controls the Weather, has Bulletproof Skin and a Swirly Hypnotic Gaze, and eats Trees.
angelovernh is a Giant Bee that Fears Nothing, is Blind, and has a mean Left Hook.
awfief is a Giant Man-Eating Plant that breathes Poisonous Gas, is Covered in Spines, and has Webbed Feet.
claudia_ is a Giant Dragon that shoots Electricity from its Eyes, is Cold-Blooded, carries a Flamethrower, and has a Computer for a Brain and Tough Leathery Skin.
f_l_i_r_t is a Giant Moth that dislikes Modern Architecture, can Regenerate, moves at Great Speed, has Prehensile Eyes, and eats Rocks.
gregoradon is a Giant Ant that spins Vast Webs, is Highly Flammable, and has a single Horn on its Forehead and a Massively Swollen Skull.
iniren is a Giant Blob that breathes Fire, spits Ice, has a single Horn on its Forehead, and eats Metal.
jtroutman is a Giant Dragon that controls the Weather, fires Rockets, and has Webbed Feet.

khatru is a Giant Robot that will turn back into a Human in the morning, and shoots Laser Beams.
kimberlogic is a Giant Mecha-Blob that spins Vast Webs, was Summoned from The Deep, has Staring Red Eyes, a Single Giant Eye and Enormous Tusks, and eats Trees.
lothie is an Average-Sized Ape that cowers from Radiation, and swallows Aeroplanes Whole.
maiortrud is an Average-Sized Ape that breathes Poisonous Gas, can Fly, is Covered with a Thick Slime, cowers from Radiation, and has Bulletproof Skin.
marm0t is a Giant Moth that leaves a Trail of Goo, is Extremely Hydrophobic, and has a Metal Jaw.
nuns is a Giant Dragon that is Covered in Spines, carries a Ray Gun, and has Tough Leathery Skin.
pookfreak is a Giant Moth that is Radioactive and in League with Dark Forces.
slinkr is a Giant Squid that breathes Fire, can Change Shape, is Easily Confused, moves at Great Speed, and has Suckers on its Feet.

And, in case you're curious,
ornoth is a Planet-Sized Mecha-Dragon that Freezes Solid when Cold, has a Computer for a Brain, and eats Metal.

Okay, so I was noodling around the Existentialism Community, and I came across a post that pointed me at one of those self-test sites. Now, being Orny I naturally think all those "What X-Man character are you?" quizzes are complete inane crap. But this one held forth the promise of telling you what degree of correllation your beliefs have with a bunch of famous philosophers. And since that's exactly the kick I've been on for the past month, I moseyed over to http://www.selectsmart.com/PHILOSOPHY/ and gave it a go.

Well, I shouldn't have been surprised at the results. After going on about how wonderful Sartre and Nietzsche are, check out my score:

Sartre (100%)
Nietzsche (98%)
Hume (97%)
Hobbes (95%)

So, essentially, I'm in perfect accord with those two gents, and also find myself closely aligned with two others who aren't really known as existentialists. And judging from the other folks' results, it's rare that someone matches up with more than one or two philosophers. Bizarre. After Hobbes, things drop off precipitously, with the stoics coming in at 75%, and everyone else at 65% or lower.

Yeah, the test is still stupid, but it sure did provide some amusement for me. Perhaps my next car should be a Dodge Dartre!

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