ornoth

Now is an opportune time to make this announcement, since the most interested parties have recently appeared on F*c*book. I am delighted to finally announce the long-awaited winner of Ornoth’s Wedding Gift Longevity contest!

While I no longer have a record of who attended our wedding nor what gifts we received, today I can say with a large degree of confidence that we have a winner! After nearly two hundred thousand hours of continuous service—over four times the duration of our marriage—the only wedding gift that is both still in my possession and fully functional is…

… a black, cube-shaped Soundesign AM/FM digital alarm clock radio given to us by none other than the illustrious Brent Cabotjam Britton! Yay!

Thanks again to all our contestants, and hearty congratulations to Señor Britton—we hope you will accept this complimentary vintage clock radio as a remembrance!

Do you enjoy the cold weather and snow for the holidays?: Well, I’m a high summer sort of person, really. Autumn really depresses me, because it heralds the end of the world and eight months of cold, barren, deadness. On the other hand, winter biking can be a lot of fun; it’s a good challenge, there are fewer people out, it’s more peaceful, and everyone thinks you’re insane. As for the holidays, I think I’ve already said enough about that in my recent friends-only tirade.
What is your ideal holiday celebration? How, where, with whom would you celebrate to make things perfect?: But no, you had to keep poking, didn’t you? Okay, then. I celebrate the solar holidays, not the secular or Xist ones. My ideal celebration, therefore, is somewhere off amidst the power and beauty of nature, far away from man. Recently I have tended to frequent a few specific spots, including Castle Island, which is a tiny outcropping in the middle of Boston Harbor, or the Arnold Arboretum’s Conifer Path, or atop Great Blue Hill.
Do you do have any holiday traditions?: See above.
Do you do anything to help the needy?: Sometimes, if a close friend has a catastrophic need, I help if I can afford to, but in general the charity that I support is the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, through my annual Pan-Mass Challenge rides.
What one gift would you like...: Well, a new job is the number one goal right now. But if we’re limiting ourselves to traditional petty western materialism, two things I’ve wanted for some time are the Ciclosport 434 cyclocomputer and cadence kit, which includes altimeter and inclinometer functions; and the Garmin Etrex Vista handheld GPS, which is like my original Etrex but also includes base maps and an altimeter, as well as a number of other new functions. But the easiest thing for people to get me would be a gift certificate to www.performancebike.com, www.coloradocyclist.com, or www.nashbar.com.

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