Be Mine Forever

[ornoth]

Now is an opportune time to make this announcement, since the most interested parties have recently appeared on F*c*book. I am delighted to finally announce the long-awaited winner of Ornoth’s Wedding Gift Longevity contest!

While I no longer have a record of who attended our wedding nor what gifts we received, today I can say with a large degree of confidence that we have a winner! After nearly two hundred thousand hours of continuous service—over four times the duration of our marriage—the only wedding gift that is both still in my possession and fully functional is…

… a black, cube-shaped Soundesign AM/FM digital alarm clock radio given to us by none other than the illustrious Brent Cabotjam Britton! Yay!

Thanks again to all our contestants, and hearty congratulations to Señor Britton—we hope you will accept this complimentary vintage clock radio as a remembrance!