Ornoth

I have a nightlight in the bathroom. It’s one of those jobbies with a little light detector, so it only comes on at night. It manages to avoid its own light confusing itself by directing the light down, while the light sensor is located on top of the unit.

What do you think would happen if you were to use two mirrors to redirect the nightlight’s output up and back and down onto the sensor?

Well, I can safely say that empirical testing shows that the damned thing will, in fact, go berserk. When it’s dark it lights up, which makes it light, so it shuts off, which makes it dark, so it lights up, which makes it light, so it shuts off, which makes it dark, so it lights up, which makes it light, so it shuts off, which makes it dark, so it lights up, which makes it light, so it shuts off, which makes it dark, so it lights up, which makes it light, so it shuts off, which makes it dark, so it lights up…

About six times per second, I’d estimate. If it was a little brighter, your bathroom could be transformed into strobe suitable for a 1970s disco lounge! But if it was a little brighter, it might also not exhibit such manifestly dim behavior.

Name five things in your refrigerator.

1. A one liter clear plastic bottle with ½ cup of Gatorade remaining
2. A six pack of McEwan’s Scotch Ale
3. A 1½ quart jar of Vlasic Bread & Butter Chips pickles
4. A 9 oz. bottle of Taj Gourmet Tamarind Chutney
5. A 15 oz. can of Farmer’s Market Pumpkin

 

Name five things in your freezer.

1. A pint of Edy’s Whole Fruit Blueberry Sorbet
2. Three quarts of my family’s homemade spaghetti sauce
3. Five 10 oz. packets of Green Giant Niblets Corn & Butter
4. Four pounds of Green Giant Sweet Peas
5. Four 21 oz. Stouffer’s Lasagna with Meat Sauce

 

Name five things under your kitchen sink.

1. A steel kitchen sink strainer/stopper with a pewter armadillo pull/top
2. An Oral-B toothbrush
3. A clear glass kerosene hurricane lantern
4. A 2.5 gallon jug of All Free Clear laundry detergent
5. My cat, as soon as the door is opened

 

Name five things around your computer.

1. A Benchmade Emerson Spec War Model CQC7 tanto blade combat knife
2. A credit card sized matrix of single- and multi-deck blackjack strategies
3. Pocket references for emacs, Kedit, Cascading Style Sheets, Perl 5, Javascript, and the Adobe Type Library
4. Several hundred old-style computer punch cards
5. A fortune cookie paper which reads “You are never bitter, deceptive or petty”.

 

Name five things in your medicine cabinet.

1. A 6 oz. plastic Disney’s Aladdin cup bearing two images of Princess Jasmine
2. A ½ ounce bottle of Wet ’n’ Wild Clear Nail Protector
3. A box of Johnson & Johnson Adaptic Non-Adhering Dressings, 7 remaining of 12
4. A bottle of 800 Berkley & Jensen Ibuprofen Caplets, expiration date 12/2002
5. A brandy-new Braun 6520 electric shaver