Roll on, big mama

[ornoth]

Ladies… I don’t mean to pick on you exclusively, but sometimes you are such hypocrites.

Let’s talk about the toilet seat, shall we? You expect male visitors to leave the toilet seat the way they found it: down, right? And woe to the hapless man who forgets even once!

Well, now let’s talk about the grim reality. The protocol in my house is that both the toilet seat and the toilet lid stay down. Yet how many times has a female guest left the seat down, but the lid up? Just about every one.

It’s common courtesy for a visitor to leave your house in the same state it was in before you arrived. So why is it so difficult for most women to honor the same rule you so vocally demand that men live by?

Let’s take another example: the Brita. In some houses, the Brita pitcher stays on the counter, full of room-temperature water; in others, it is found inside the fridge, where the water stays cold. I don’t go around putting your pitcher in your fridge, so why do some of my female friends self-righteously insist upon always leaving the damned thing out on the counter?

And the toilet paper… Given that the 51 percent of America that is female uses 87 percent of the nation’s toilet paper, one might expect them to predictably replace the roll in the same orientation they found it. Results indicate otherwise.

How about the shower head? Do you leave it pointed in the same direction it was when you arrived? And on the same spray vs. stream setting? And did you remember to set the tub/shower toggle back to the setting it was on before you arrived?

Really? You know what? Your sistren don’t.

I guess I’m beginning to see the value in having a guest bathroom. But irrespective of that, can we lose the double standard? You’re not gaining my respect by falsely accusing me of thoughtlessness, then turning around and engaging in the very behavior you condemn all of mankind for.

Comments

[awfief.livejournal.com]

My experiences:

1) The toilet seat. I don't care, really, although when having guests or a party I'll keep the lid down due to general ick factors (We keep it clean, but it's still a toilet!). If the lid and seat were down, I close both when I'm done. If the lid was up and the seat was up or down, I leave the seat down, how I used it. Mostly because it's very odd to walk into a bathroom where a woman just walked out of and see the seat up. "how did she go?" you wonder. *shrug* It's just a toilet seat, I don't see why guys don't just pee with the seat down, since after about age 6 y'all have pretty good aim.

Have you actually met someone who complains about the seat being down? I haven't. I think that's an artifact, really, something only comedi-Annes joke about.

2) The Brita is weird. Sometimes I'll leave a drink out if I'm going to have more, but usually not at someone's house, and certainly not without asking! And that only goes for things like soda, not milk.

3) As for toilet paper, your guests should not have to change your toilet paper. In my experience, men don't change the toilet paper (obviously those that live alone do!) so I don't pay too much attention. Generally, though, I'd reach for toilet paper and finish the roll. If I don't have enough (and I don't use that much!) then I'm more concerned about finding the stuff and using it than what direction it goes in. If I do, I finish, flush, wash my hands, and then replace the roll. In that case, it's been so long since I used the toilet paper that I have no idea what direction it was in the first place.

4) I don't leave the shower head in the same direction as when I arrived. I think your height has you on this one -- I could never get it properly because I can't see where it was. If it was pointed to a corner, though, I'd do it, because it would be obvious that the person wanted it in the corner, probably due to leakage or something. I definitely leave it on the same spray/stream setting. And the tub/shower toggle too (though Tony doesn't, for the record).

Can you recall when you've had someone complain about these things? A real person, not a jokester....

I get annoyed often when someone doesn't put something away, such as when they borrow a pen or scissors and don't put it back.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

When you ask "Have you met someone who complains about the seat being down?" do you mean men complaining women leave the seat down? I haven't. It's pretty silly to expect women to put the seat up, although I suppose if one were really strict about the "leave it the way you found it rule", one might.

Or if you mean a woman who complains about men leaving the seat up... Yes. Frequently.

But ultimately what I wanted to express was my frustration at having women angrily accuse me of something I never do, then turning around and doing it themselves.

The rest of the list are all my complaints about people who don't put things back the way they found them. But admittedly, I'm more retentive than anyone I know. I debated whether to add to the list people who fold the towels so that the two ragged edges face the door, rather than the smooth folded edge!

[awfief.livejournal.com]

whoops, yeah, I meant to ask if you knew women who complained that the seat was left up.

*nod* that is annoying. It sounded like more of a generic "women are hypocrites" rule than a "specific women complain that I do something and those specific women turn around and do that same thing."

That drives me batty when people do that.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

That's true. I guess it's bad form to generalize about an entire gender while complaining about the other gender generalizing about you...

[iniren.livejournal.com]

Honestly, dear - it's all a matter of training, one way or the other, as much as it is courtesy.

I mean - I got trained right quick to follow your rules in your house - or face the wrath of the Ornoth. :)

Then again, in my house the rule is toilet lid closed always, so that was easy (as folks say - for cat and general ick factors); as for TP direction - I would have to agree with Sheeri - you shouldn't expect a casual guest to have to replace your TP, though a more frequent guest would probably pick up on your preferences after a convo about it. And - this is a funny one, cos people tend to feel very strongly about their TP direction. (I like the loose edge on the outside; I forget your preferred way...)

The Brita - yea, that one you kinda do have to follow house rules on, as a matter of courtesy. But - for me, more so than fridge/counter, the issue is refilling. Nothing more annoying than someone not refilling your Britta. (Well, ok, many things are more annoying, but in the context of this conversation... :)

And again, on the showerhead, I have to agree with Sheeri - dude, yer just too damn tall, and you can't expect your guests to find the right setting for you. Just say thanks that they don't spray water all over yer bathroom and leave it at that.

You're right, though, on the surface this really is a generally double-standard type of thing; we as women get used to slob-like and less-aware-of-their-surroundings kinds of guys... so hey - maybe you need to have the convo of "yo, i likes my house how i likes it - so keep it that way!" w/ yer guests. :)

(And, I demand some points for learning to fold yer towels like you like them - though I never did pick up on that the fringe had to point a certain way! But then again, you still forget that the open edge of the pillowcase needs to point away from your bed partner, so... :)

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the towels are pretty strange. But surely other people have some way of indicating which towel was most recently used? Or is it just that no one else on the planet uses towels more than once?

[dafyddcyhoeddwr.livejournal.com]

Toilet seat: My personal toilet default is close it. This developed from having a cat and not wanting said cat to drink from it, especially when I use some kind of tablet in there, especially when it doesn' turn the water blue (or green - I think I had a green one once). As usual, the habit has become ingrained, and it seems like a good one to keep that way.

Sadly, I've not had the opportunity to deal with the whole "relationship" issue with respect to toilets, or much of anything else, really. Or even guests ...

Brita: I don't drink water, filtered or not.

TP: Again, no experience. Personally, I believe that end-over is the proper way but it's not something I've much dealt with in other houses.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Yuh. I first started keeping it closed when the cats moved in, and it seems to be eminently logical to me.