Another iPoo meme

Okay, sometimes I’ll see a quiz or a meme and I’ll take/do it, but I usually don’t post the results. So I did this one, and I think the results are interesting. Not stellar, but maybe a bit interesting. So here.

I put the iPod on shuffle, and matched the first thirteen song titles with the following questions:

1. What do you think of me?
    
   Money Money Money (Abba).
   Always sunny in the rich man’s world. What could be more appropriate?
    
   
2. Will I have a happy life?
    
   Behavior Modification / We Will Rock You (EBN).
   George Bush Sr. tells us:
    
   Some may ask why rock out now?
   The answer is clear:
   These are the times that rock men’s souls.
    
   
3. What do my friends really think of me?
    
   Beatles Zebra Crossing (Shriekback).
   This was the holy land when
   they were more popular than god.
   Upon this bridge of black and white
   their sacred naked feet have trod.
    
   
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
    
   Funky Drummer (James Brown).
   James Brown? Hyeaaaaaaah! Like a sex machine! Good god y’all!
    
   
5. How can I make myself happy?
    
   Why’s Everybody Always Pickin’ On Me? (Bloodhound Gang).
   Oops…
    
   
6. What should I do with my life?
    
   Brink of Collapse (Shriekback).
   Oh dear.
    
   
7. Why must life be so full of pain?
    
   Stay Up Late (Talking Heads)
   Sister, sister, he’s just a plaything.
   We wanna make him stay up all night.
    
   
8. Will I ever have children?
    
   Airhead (Thomas Dolby).
   That sounds ominous, but You ask me do I love you… Does the pope live in the woods?
    
   
9. Will I die happy?
    
   The Mob Rules (Black Sabbath).
   Ailsa gets Iron Maiden, and I get Black Sabbath? It’s over it’s done; the end is begun.
    
   
10. Can you give me some advice?
     
    Gut Feeling / Slap Your Mammy (Devo).
    Slap your mammy down. Slap your mammy down again. That’s unambiguous.
     
    
11. What do you think happiness is?
     
    The Last Honest Man (Stan Ridgway)
     
    Well later on that night
    In a motel room down the road
    He kept his meeting for a cat-o-nine beating
    From a leather-clad man named Moe.
     
    
12. What is my favorite fetish?
     
    Sacrificial Lambs (Warren Zevon).
    Now that’s just sick!
     
    We’re having a party
    We’re burning it down
    We’re building an idol
    He’s sad but he don’t frown
    He’s the cream of the crop
    So we’re making him god
    Start writing this down
    When I give you the nod
     
    
13. How will I be remembered?
     
    Make It Mine (Shamen).
     
    Mean, lean, lazy and fine
    That’s the way I make it make it mine
    Sure, slow, rolling with the flow
    That’s the way I make it make it show
    That’s the way I move it
    That’s the way I prove it
    Just so you know, here’s how I do it
    Listen how I make it, make it mine
    Everytime

Eat me! Drink me!

Let’s talk biological functions, okay? Here’s the deal. See if you can spot the pattern, and the one biological function that breaks the pattern…

Picking boogers: unacceptable in public.
Popping zits: unacceptable in public.
Ejaculation: unacceptable in public.
Vomiting: unacceptable in public.
Defecation: unacceptable in public.
Urination: unacceptable in public.
Flatulation: unacceptable in public.
Vaginal flatulation: unacceptable in public.
Menstruation: unacceptable in public.
Breast-feeding: generally unacceptable in public.
Bleeding: generally unacceptable in public.
Belching: mildly unacceptable in public.
Sneezing: mildly unacceptable in public.
Blowing one’s nose: mildly unacceptable in public.
Spitting: mildly unacceptable in public.
Eating and drinking: often a public event, and socially required.

So this raises the purely rhetorical question: how is it that literally every body function known to man is stigmatized, but eating is virtually required to be a ritualized social event? What’s so special about eating? Why isn’t it as stigmatized as, say, its direct opposite: vomiting?

Yeah, yeah, I know there are arguments to be made about how it needs to be social. Communal cooking and all that rot. And yes, I know of two body functions—breathing and crying—which actually are socially acceptable.

But none of that invalidates the obvious contrast: eating is a social event, but every other bodily function is unwelcome and considered unclean. I could easily envision a society where public eating would be shunned as socially unacceptable, just like everything else. And sometimes I have felt uncomfortable eating in public, or being with someone who was eating in public.

Dunno. It’s just a thought. The contrast between how this bodily function is viewed versus all the others intrigues me, and irritates my sense of order and logic.