It’s been a year, so let’s debrief about my experience as a drone aircraft owner/operator.

I’m not terribly good at spatial orientation in three dimensions, so I bought a cheap $50 quadcopter, mostly to see whether I could develop the skills to become a competent remote operator before dropping real money on a quality drone. The craft—a Syma x5c—had a low-quality video camera, but no live video feed or stabilization or other advanced features. And it was light enough to elude most FAA regulation.

Syma quadcopter

Syma quadcopter

Over the winter I flew it around our apartment in an effort to learn fine control, but of course that was pretty limited in terms of the flying I could do. I did get the cat’s attention, tho.

Meanwhile, I educated myself on the existing regulations for drone pilots. What I learned is that you are not legally allowed to fly a drone, period.

That might be overstating the case, but just barely. You cannot fly one within five miles of any airport or hospital. You cannot fly over any public property, including schools, parks, ballfields, streets, cemeteries, etc. You can’t fly over other people, nor on private property without the owner’s permission.

After thinking it through, I think there’s only two places you might be allowed to fly.

I haven’t seen anything prohibiting operating directly over an unregulated body of water like a large lake or river. Of course, that’s not the best place for an unskilled pilot to operate an electronic device with limited radio controller range and a very short battery life… Bloop!

Or theoretically you could operate on private property that’s more than five miles away from any airport or hospital, with the owner’s expressed permission. Which is a resource I don’t really have any access to.

So, basically, I haven’t used my quad outside at all.

No, I did take it outside just once and flew around the tiny cement driveway between our apartment house and the next. That sucked, because the quad’s light weight meant it drifted about in the wind, which increased the danger of crashing into one of the buildings (larger drones are much more stable in the wind). And I was probably still violating some law about flying too close to people’s windows.

There are UAV clubs that rent flying space for group events, but they expect dues, and are for enthusiasts with expensive professional or racing rigs costing hundreds if not thousands of dollars; they’re not accommodating of newbies just learning to fly with cheap, off the shelf toy-store equipment.

So my big aerial adventure was an unmitigated failure. I guess that explains why you never see drones around, even though their prices have come down to the point where anyone could afford one.

It feels a lot like getting a shiny new bike for Xmas as a kid, but having to store it in the attic until all the snow melted and you could ride. Except in this case there’s no summer to look forward to, because recreational drone use will never be allowed to get off the ground.

Mouth off!

Mar. 1st, 2007 07:41 am

Okay, enough of all that heavy life stuff! In order to maintain the balance in your chi, I offer the following list of the 14 funnest (not funniest, but funnest) things in the world to say. I encourage you to say them aloud. Often. Loudly. In crowded rooms!

First up is my childhood favorite: flabbergasted. There’s something inherently funny about “flabber”, and “flabbergasted” is a pretty righteous thing to say in any circumstance.

Closely related is the slangy term: bogus. Much funnier and more useful than the similar “boathouse”. It always reminds me of the 1990s kid’s program Mr. Bogus, with the animated star being a tiny, yellow, gremlin-like character.

My first job out of school was mostly manipulating data from hospitals. I made up the name of a fictional hospital that I always used for my test data, and it was pretty fun to say: Loofey Gronk Memorial Hospital. Though that’s a bit lame, being the only made-up word in my list. The rest are all bona fides, more or less.

Speaking of work, there’s a new word at work, and it’s all the rage. Web Services Description Language, aka: WSDL, pronounced wizzdle. Technical terms and acronyms are always good fodder for entertainment.

Another good source is foreign languages. There’s a couple words from Russian that I think are particularly nice. First up: yablicka, which is the word for “apple”. It’s just plain fun to say.

The other is a Russian phrase that’s always applicable: shto eesho, which translates as “Hey, what’s next?”. Like I say, it’s eminently useful.

The other foreign word that makes our list is the perennial favorite Thai dish: duck choo chee. Pure brilliance! Beats the hell out of “duck in curry sauce”.

Then there’s the fun of: chunder, slang for vomiting. Not a pretty thing, but it sure rolls off the tongue, so to speak…

And then there’s people’s names. For some reason, people love to name their children something painfully stupid, as evinced by the longstanding stupid names thread on B3ta.com. One of my favorites is the “software methodologist” who created the Unified Modeling Language: Grady Booch. His name is so fun that it wound up being the team cheer for one of my project teams back during the Internet bubble.

More tech terminology. The group of users who have “root” or administrative privileges under unix is called the root group. Almost as much fun as duck choo chee, but without the fowl.

Okay, let’s get serious, now. We’re down to the four funnest things you could possibly ever say. Exciting, isn’t it?

Well, number four is an Indonesian island best known as the site of one of the biggest volcanic eruptions in recent history: the infamous Krakatoa! That one’s so much fun that it was a random exclamation of mine for years…

Number three is a bit of tongue twister, and requires some lead-in. If you’re a consultant, you have to bill your time to the client. If you run a consulting company, it’s important that your consultants’ time is always “billable”, because they’re only making money for the company when they’re billable. In other words, you have to maximize their billability. Who’d’ve thunk that consultants would be on the leading edge of language, in addition to technology?

Number two is budget. I shouldn’t need to explain this one. Just say it! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget! Budget!

And now we’re up to the last, final, most fun thing you could ever possibly say. It’s the name of a Serbian player on the NBA’s Golden State Warriors. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I offer up to you the magical name of Zarko Cabarkapa! Usage note: the ’Z’ is really a ’zh’, and the ’C’ is really a ’ch’, so the proper pronunciation is actually “Zharko Chabarkapa”. But any way you spell it—even in the native Cyrillic—Zarko Cabarkapa means Big Fun!

Have you got additions to this list? What’s your mouth’s favorite thing to say?

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