ornoth

LOVE IT OR HATE IT, THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS A THING. AND IT’S DEFINITELY ONE OF MY THINGS! OR MAYBE ABOUT A HUNDRED OF MY THINGS…

THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO GET FULLY CHEESED OFF AT THE CAPS LOCK KEY, NESTLED NEATLY ON THEIR KEYBOARD’S HOME ROW BETWEEN THE TAB AND SHIFT KEYS.

THERE ARE ORGANIZATIONS DEVOTED TO THE KEY’S ERADICATION. GOOGLE EVEN BANNED IT FROM THEIR LINE OF CHROMEBOOK LAPTOPS, REPLACING THAT SPACE WITH (WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT FROM, GOOGLE?) A SEARCH BUTTON.

BUT EVERY DISPUTE HAS TWO SIDES, AS SHOWN BY A SIMPLE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR “TURN CHROMEBOOK CAPS LOCK ON”, WHICH RETURNS 114,000 RESULTS.

TO ME, THE ANGER TOWARD THE CAPS LOCK IS REMINISCENT OF THE HATRED DIRECTED TOWARD THAT OTHER ICON OF EARLY PERSONAL COMPUTING: THE COMIC SANS TYPEFACE.

BUT THAT WASN’T ALWAYS THE CASE. BACK IN MY CONSULTING DAYS, EVERY NEW CLIENT PROJECT MEANT SETTING UP A NEW LAPTOP, AND THE FIRST THING I DID WAS REMOVE THE CAPS LOCK KEYCAP. AT THE TIME, HATING ON THE CAPS LOCK KEY WAS JUST ONE OF MY PERFORMATIVE WAYS OF GETTING ATTENTION.

BUT SINCE THOSE MACHINES WENT BACK TO THE CLIENT AT THE END OF EACH PROJECT, I HAD TO HANG ONTO THAT KEYCAP, PUTTING IT BACK IN PLACE WHEN THE LAPTOP WAS RETURNED TO THE CLIENT.

AROUND THAT TIME I ALSO USED TO HANG OUT IN THE I.T. SUPPORT OFFICE, AND ONE DAY SPIED THEIR BOX OF BROKEN KEYBOARDS. HAVING ALREADY ESTABLISHED THE HABIT OF POCKETING AND SAVING CAPS LOCK KEYCAPS, I STARTED LIFTING THEM FROM DEAD KEYBOARDS, FROM MY OWN HOME COMPUTERS, AND ANYWHERE ELSE I COULD REASONABLY GET AWAY WITH IT.

AND SO, A COLLECTION WAS BORN.

SINCE I STOPPED WORKING, I NO LONGER GET AS MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW MY CAPS LOCK COLLECTION.

BUT PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANTLY, MY QUIET HOME LIFE DOESN’T NEED THE IDIOSYNCRATIC, PERFORMATIVE BEHAVIOR THAT I RELIED UPON FOR ATTENTION BACK WHEN I WAS WORKING DIRECTLY WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

IN FACT, AS I TYPE THIS POST, THERE ARE CAPS LOCK KEYCAPS STILL FIRMLY AFFIXED TO MY BOTH MY MACBOOK AND MY WIRELESS MECHANICAL KEYBOARD, WHERE THEY’RE LIKELY TO STAY…

… UNTIL I’M DONE WITH THOSE DEVICES, OF COURSE! ONCE THEY’RE NO LONGER BEING USED, THEIR CAPS LOCK KEYCAPS WILL JOIN THE SCORES OF OTHERS HOUSED IN MY PERMANENT COLLECTION.

This one might sound particularly stupid, but if you lived in my head, you'd know that it's a revelation for me.

So I've been unemployed now for five months, but really I've only had the past three weeks to really relax (don't do it/when you want to go to it) because of other things taking up my time. But recently I've been trying to figure out why, now that I have ample time, I still find it difficult to relax (don't do it/when you want to come). And I think I've got a answer, although it probably will sound terribly obvious to you.

You see, I'm one of these people who values productivity. I think people who spend hours commuting are wasting their lives. And I think people who watch television are nothing more than worthless by-products of our overcoming the Darwinian struggle for survival. Movies are pap to tranquilize the masses; intelligent people use their time to create, not to sit around waiting to passively absorb stimulation.

In contrast, I spend my free time in pursuits that require concentration, if not intellectual engagement. I write fiction and critique a lot more. I run an online magazine. I create art. I build Web sites. I drum, cook, and do photography. And don't forget journaling! Literally everything I do requires mental engagement and concentration.

Somehow, it's only now that I realize that even I can't live being 100 percent "on" 100 percent of the time. I need to find ways of shutting the intellect down, to give it time to rest and recharge before diving back in again. I guess it's apparent now because I haven't been on my bike in several weeks, and that was the best way I knew of to relax (don't do it).

I'm sure that the need for non-concentrating relaxation time is second nature and it's a pretty underwhelming revelation to most people. But for me, it really is a big change in how I think about recharging and the value of time.

The funny thing is that I don't have an easy time coming up with "mindless" activities that qualify. Cycling counts, as does seeing live bands, visiting cats, and reading. I suppose socializing would count, if I did it more... That's really about it. I need to spend some time brainstorming other alternatives.

That's all. Just thought I'd capture that thought, since it really isn't a natural one for me.

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MEMORABILIA: CAPITALIZATION MATTERS!

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