Hey, Four-Eyes!

[ornoth]

Two weeks ago, as I mentioned in a previous post, I had my first eye exam in pretty much ever. Over the past year, my ability to resolve fine print has deteriorated noticeably. The only reason why I delayed the exam was to wait for work to implement its planned vision care benefit.

The exam itself was totally silly: the repeated requests to read an eye chart whose contents I easily memorized; the completely subjective comparison of different lens strength (is this one better or worse than the other?); the heinous regimen of eye drops and the absurdly dilated Powerpuff Girl eyes they left me with.

I can’t say I liked it, but then I’ve always been extremely squicky about eyes. I’ve always been a big swimmer, but I still refuse to open my eyes underwater. The eyes are very sensitive, and vision is just about the only thing I simply couldn’t live without.

The outcome was exactly as I expected: everything’s fine, except for a mild loss of near vision for small print, which means that after a lifetime of perfect vision, it is finally time for me to get reading glasses.

It’s ironic that my perfect vision is failing around the same time that two of my exes have had their extremely bad vision almost completely corrected with laser surgery. So in a strange twist of fat (sic), now they can see better than I can.

In laughable contrast to the exam was the ritual of selecting frames. Never having worn glasses before, I had almost no idea what I wanted. Meanwhile, the intern who did my exam and the office receptionist (both women) teamed up to run me through just about every set of frames in the building. It was like having a root canal done in one room, then stepping directly into a girly clothes-shopping spree in the next room: very dissonant.

I finally restricted the girls to just eight frames, then eliminated the ones that they liked that I didn’t, then picked the pair I thought looked okay and had the most reasonable fit.

Then yesterday I picked them up and had them adjusted. What do you think?

Comments

[slinkr.livejournal.com]

I think you chose well. They look good.

Picking glasses is hard, even for those of us who've been doing it for decades. It's even worse if your vision without glasses is bad enough that you can't clearly see yourself in the frames you're trying on.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they'd dilated me beforehand, but that wasn't too much of an issue. Glad you approve, tho. They seem to have passed group muster...

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

I think they look very good on you.

(I'm squeamish about my eyes -- laser surgery would do me a lot of good, but the thought of the procedure, and what might go wrong, and what about when I'm 70, is more than enough to make it not-interesting.)

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the feedback.

Lasix seems pretty painless from what I hear, although I'm like you -- very squicky about my eyes. But one person had legal blindness cut to almost right, then went back and had it corrected again (results promising but pending). I can't imagine it, either!

[iniren.livejournal.com]

yup yup, going in for lasik enhancement tomorrow... :)
but yea, these are reasonable, but not quite you. i think next time i'm in town maybe we'll go get you something a bit more interesting. reading glasses are super cheap (especially compared to the crazy prescriptions i used to get!)

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Eh, not so cheap, really, at least the framez. And I only get insurance framez every two years. I'll be curious to see what you think is more me tho...

[awfief.livejournal.com]

Given the background and how clearly you are in focus....

you look like you're on CNN. ;)

They look good.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Hehe! Yeah, I suppose I could rent my place out to a news show, if they didn't use static backdrops anyways. I wonder if that's a viable career choice: out-of-focus backdrop photographer?

Thanks for the feedback, yo!

[jtroutman.livejournal.com]

looks good. Now with a black turtle neck and jeans and you all set to be on stage with Steve Jobs.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Ha! I actually thot about wearing one of my several black mock turtles from Bean's! I'll have to someday. And give a pres with only one word per slide...

[rubyred660.livejournal.com]

Damn, you look really hot. This girl approves.

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Ha! Shit, I woulda gotten glasses five years ago, if I knew that was gonna be the reaction! Sigh...

[xpedite.livejournal.com]

You look good, but I'm curious... You ordered reading glasses from the eye shop? Why didn't you get cheapies from the drug store?

[ornoth.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm no eyeball expert, and since I hadn't had an exam in at least 30 years, I figured I ought to. Eyeballs is the one thing I would never skimp on, either. It doesn't matter what it costs, I want them to work and work as perfectly as humanly possible.