Ornoth

It was a year ago today that I bought my condo. It really doesn't seem like it's been that long, although I suppose part of that could be the fact that I didn't actually move into the new place until six weeks later.

One of the big changes that resulted is that I now have a big ol' hunk of debt, for the first time in about eight years. Certainly, my net worth is still very much positive (since the condo is very definitely an asset), but I'm committed to coming up with a mortgage payment every month, most of which is money flushed down the shitter. Consider that to date I've paid off about $1600 worth of principal on my mortgage, and closer to $12000 in interest. And over the life of my loan, I will have given my mortgageholder two and a half times the amount that I borrowed. And I was lucky in that I got a good interest rate and didn't have to pay mortgage insurance, which would have been even more money down the tubes! Anyone who tells you that having a mortgage is a good way to force yourself to save is talking out of their ass, because you're paying someone more than twice whatever you save, just for the priviledge of forcing you to save.

Of course, I can't complain. My house was my justification for selling my Sapient stock when I did, and it's already proven a much, much wiser place to keep my money. Not to mention, I'm really thoroughly pleased with the place. It is a substantial improvement over my old place, and I could see myself staying here for several, perhaps many years.

It also appears to have been the vanguard of another major transition in my life. Every so often I go through a sea-change, where everything in my life is thrown up in the air and comes down differently, but almost always for the better. One example was graduating high school, my relationship with Ailsa, and starting college. Another was when Linda and I got married, I graduated from college, moved to Shrewsbury, gave up DargonZine, and got a job at MediQual. Another was when Linda and I separated, I moved into Natick, regained control of DargonZine, grew my hair out, started nightclubbing in Boston, Ailsa moved in, I finally got my teeth fixed, and I got involved with the polyamorous and BDSM communities. The most recent was back in 1995, when Puggle and I moved into my Boston apartment in the West Fens, I sold my car and my television, started working for Sapient, and became a fixture in the nightclub and BDSM scenes.

But that was seven years ago now, and another wholesale change is well under way. I was fortunate enough to make a comfortable amount on Sapient stock, and wisely exchanged that for a down payment on my new condo in a fabulous location in Boston's Back Bay. I made the transition from a hardcore programmer/analyst to a World-Wide Web and user interface designer, and entered a formal program at the New England School of Art and Design in order to bolster my creative, artistic, and design skills. I was laid off from my job at Sapient, forcing me into my next career move. I cut my hair short. And, in the only substantial disappointment of recent times, Inna ended our three and a half year relationship.

The funny thing is that the times when I've been happiest in my life have always been right after I've gone through those periods of dramatic change, because I've found a place that is more suited to the person I've become since the last change. I find that odd because I am, by nature, a creature of routine and habit; though I probably stay in my well-worn paths longer than necessary, and welcome the opportunity for change when it comes.

And as I said above, as well as in a private journal entry entitled "¡Que Linda!", I certainly appear to be on the cusp of another such sea-change. Whether I'll wind up being in a better place than I've been in for the past seven years, I don't know, and I have no guarantee. But between my savings, my Sapient severance, and unemployment insurance, I have the luxury of both enjoying the coming summer, free from the stresses of work and relationship, but also of taking the time to visualize and then craft the life that I want to lead in the years to come.

As I see it, there are three main elements of life that are of primary importance in my happiness, and which need to be optimized during times of wholesale change: career, housing, and social life/relationships. But even though career and social life and relationships are still TBD, I'm extremely happy with the job I've already done in terms of securing my "next generation" housing arrangements, and that's ample cause to celebrate. Happy House Closing Day!