Welcome to… the Spammies!

[ornoth]

Here is a collection of the 30 most entertaining spam subject lines I have received.

Subject: Message subject

Is it creative, post-modern, and self-referential, or is it just a spammer who's too stupid to be allowed to play with mass mail software?

Subject: Subject lines:

A bold play on our previous theme. What could the unexplained "subject lines" be? I'm agog. Really!

Subject: burp

Consumer studies have showed this to be an incredibly effective appeal for the male audience, but it might not go over so well with our female users.

Subject: Showerhead used in World Famous Resorts!

I've been to those resorts. Their showers suck.

Subject: Do you like Instant Gratification?

Our focus group shows that the American public prefer Instant Gratification over Delayed Gratification by a margin of three pecentage points (survey has a 75 percent margin of error)

Subject: Ornoth The First PC Designed For Selling Online fluorocarbon

I don't care if you're selling fluorocarbon or tortoises, I'd love to have a PC named Ornoth!

Subject: THis will not involve conception of a child

Gee, does this mean that all those other solicitations I've received ... !!!

Subject: burst her

Uh, wouldn't that be a bit unsanitary?

Subject: Debt Consolidation with a Christian Perspective!

From the same people who brought you Dalai Lama Brake Pads...

Subject: Even Christians have financial problems.

I really find that difficult to believe...

Subject: Saw YOU in church, loved what I saw.

You saw me? Honest, I was just polishing his chalice!

Subject: Some Christian Likes you

Yeah, just like puppy dogs and children.

Subject: GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU RESPOND

How can I respond, you dumb fuck? Your email address is spoofed!

Subject: Clear your catastrophe

Isn't that what CTRL-Z is for?

Subject: Defy Gravity in 15 minutes

Sounds good, but I've only got five...

Subject: Do you know what your dog is saying - Save $30

That bitch! I told her it was to be our secret!

Subject: Your kids read rite?

Better than yours, bubula.

Subject: I can wait to see you at work again.

Excellent, because I can certainly wait, too. Uh, you do know how to use this language, right?

Subject: Few chances only come once a limetime

Unfortunately, it's so true. I wish more came just once!

Subject: Re: finally drop the lbs fahrenheit

More butchered English. Pounds fahrenheit?

Subject: Are you getting your share of internt prophets

I thought I was an internt prophet!

Subject: Get you Complimentry give today

Getted me give, my think its keen.

Subject: No junk tuscan emails anymore

Oh good! I was wondering where all these pidgin English emails were coming from!

Subject: Meet REAL singles that care

But can you make me care?

Subject: fat person always feel lonely, why?

Mmmm... Bet you made some friends with this one.

Subject: Start your own franchise cheap lunatic

I am not cheap!

Subject: re: that problem with your ears

What about my ears? What???

Subject: mr. little cock, grow up ur bird with plaster

Ooh, plaster. I never thought of that! Honey!

Subject: dargon--On Live TV

That'd be really cool, especially considering Dargon is a fictional place!

Subject: Tight young hole - to Dargon!

A hole to Dargon? Wow... I didn't even know travel to fictional worlds was possible!