The Taste of Enlighten Mint

[ornoth]

Ten years ago today I took what turned out to be one of the most important steps of my life: I attended a Tuesday night beginners’ drop-in session at the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center.

The story actually begins two years earlier, in 2002. I was in my late thirties, and had achieved great successes only to discover that they weren’t very fulfilling, and experienced immense joys only to learn that they were surprisingly ephemeral.

I remembered how French Existentialist philosophy had given my life a context as a teen; I still agreed with many Existentialist assumptions, but I wondered if I could find a way to lead an ethical and fulfilling life based on those assumptions.

Twenty years after high school, most of my understanding of Existentialism had faded, and I wasn’t even sure that Existentialism was right for me anymore. So I very consciously embarked on a general overview of philosophy and Existentialism in particular.

That was in early 2002, which was also when I began this blog, which has served from the start as a repository for my philosophical meanderings.

About a year into the philosophy project, I came across William Barrett’s “Irrational Man: A Study in Existential Philosophy” which contained a passage that described Buddhism as having a similar starting point as Existentialism, but promoting a more compassionate and loving way of being, rather than a jaded and pessimistic one. That sounded like exactly what I was looking for.

Mere days after finishing Barrett, I was in a bookshop and fortuitously stumbled across Alan Watts’ “The Wisdom of Insecurity”, which is an incomparable introduction to Buddhist philosophy for westerners. Where Barrett had planted a seed of curiosity, Watts nurtured it into a thriving line of exploration.

I spent another year reading about Buddhism, before April 27 2004, when I found myself entering a meditation center (CIMC) for the first time in my life. That short Tuesday night drop-in group—led by Madeline Klyne -- was interesting enough to convince me to sign up for her six-hour beginners’ workshop the following month.

From there, I started downloading dharma talks from well-known teachers and attending CIMC’s Wednesday evening sittings and talks. Surprisingly, it all made really good sense. I took the Buddhist refuges and precepts for the first time, sat my first retreats, began hanging out with other like-minded folks, and so on… for ten years now!

It would be easy for me to celebrate this anniversary as a personal accomplishment: I have ten years of meditation practice under my belt, wow! But like any title or medal one receives, the award isn’t what’s important; it’s merely a symbol, pointing to the real actions that were taken and the results that were produced. In my case, the results are to be found in the emotionally fulfilling and ethically-aligned life that I’ve enjoyed in recent years.

I don’t think I can overstate the value of the fundamental changes I have benefited from. I’ve gone from a very selfish, reactive, immature person who was unconscious of the harm he was causing to a more compassionate, thoughtful, fatherly person who is much more aware and in control of his thoughts, speech, and actions.

I am deeply amazed by this transformation. Yes I’m proud of it, but also very grateful for the essential assistance of the people who have guided and encouraged me. I couldn’t possibly be more thankful for my ten-year association with CIMC and the constellation of amazing teachers and fellow practitioners I have met along the path. I will always be in their debt, and this is a good opportunity to acknowledge that.