ornoth | Welcome to… the Spammies!

Here is a collection of the 30 most entertaining spam subject lines I have received.

Subject: Message subject: Is it creative, post-modern, and self-referential, or is it just a spammer who's too stupid to be allowed to play with mass mail software?
Subject: Subject lines:: A bold play on our previous theme. What could the unexplained "subject lines" be? I'm agog. Really!
Subject: burp: Consumer studies have showed this to be an incredibly effective appeal for the male audience, but it might not go over so well with our female users.
Subject: Showerhead used in World Famous Resorts!: I've been to those resorts. Their showers suck.
Subject: Do you like Instant Gratification?: Our focus group shows that the American public prefer Instant Gratification over Delayed Gratification by a margin of three pecentage points (survey has a 75 percent margin of error)
Subject: Ornoth The First PC Designed For Selling Online fluorocarbon: I don't care if you're selling fluorocarbon or tortoises, I'd love to have a PC named Ornoth!
Subject: THis will not involve conception of a child: Gee, does this mean that all those other solicitations I've received ... !!!
Subject: burst her: Uh, wouldn't that be a bit unsanitary?
Subject: Debt Consolidation with a Christian Perspective!: From the same people who brought you Dalai Lama Brake Pads...
Subject: Even Christians have financial problems.: I really find that difficult to believe...
Subject: Saw YOU in church, loved what I saw.: You saw me? Honest, I was just polishing his chalice!
Subject: Some Christian Likes you: Yeah, just like puppy dogs and children.
Subject: GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU RESPOND: How can I respond, you dumb fuck? Your email address is spoofed!
Subject: Clear your catastrophe: Isn't that what CTRL-Z is for?
Subject: Defy Gravity in 15 minutes: Sounds good, but I've only got five...
Subject: Do you know what your dog is saying - Save $30: That bitch! I told her it was to be our secret!
Subject: Your kids read rite?: Better than yours, bubula.
Subject: I can wait to see you at work again.: Excellent, because I can certainly wait, too. Uh, you do know how to use this language, right?
Subject: Few chances only come once a limetime: Unfortunately, it's so true. I wish more came just once!
Subject: Re: finally drop the lbs fahrenheit: More butchered English. Pounds fahrenheit?
Subject: Are you getting your share of internt prophets: I thought I was an internt prophet!
Subject: Get you Complimentry give today: Getted me give, my think its keen.
Subject: No junk tuscan emails anymore: Oh good! I was wondering where all these pidgin English emails were coming from!
Subject: Meet REAL singles that care: But can you make me care?
Subject: fat person always feel lonely, why?: Mmmm... Bet you made some friends with this one.
Subject: Start your own franchise cheap lunatic: I am not cheap!
Subject: re: that problem with your ears: What about my ears? What???
Subject: mr. little cock, grow up ur bird with plaster: Ooh, plaster. I never thought of that! Honey!
Subject: dargon--On Live TV: That'd be really cool, especially considering Dargon is a fictional place!
Subject: Tight young hole - to Dargon!: A hole to Dargon? Wow... I didn't even know travel to fictional worlds was possible!

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