![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
You are what you watch
A couple days ago, I was walking down the street I overheard two girls talking behind me. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop, since we were walking in the same direction at the same pace.
One of the girls had just started a new relationship, and the other girl was asking about the guy, and the first question out of her mouth was “What television shows does he watch?”
Now, that freaked me out a bit. Like, are entertainment preferences really the yardstick that people use to measure someone’s character? Maybe I was just feeling sensitive after a meditation session, but I was struck by how pathetically shallow our society has become.
But they weren’t done yet. The other girl listed off his favorite shows and said that she didn’t like them. The only one I recognized was “South Park”, which—surprise!—doesn’t exactly qualify as “Television for Women”.
The inquirer then talked about how she and her beau had broken up because he liked to watch Sports Center, but she liked Gossip Girl. She was unambiguous that it was the primary reason they had gone separate ways. Wow.
The girls went on to talk about how important it was to fill the 7-10pm block of time each night with programs they wanted to see. At that point, I decided to vector off in a separate direction to avoid further deterioration of my world-view. Is this really how people live? People who think they’re deep, thoughtful individuals?
That hit me in a couple ways. First, it made me wonder what they would think of me: someone who hasn’t had a tv in 14 years, and hasn’t missed it a bit. If television is such an important part of determining how compatible two people are, I have very little hope of being some attractive lady’s “dream guy”.
But neither do I have much clue about how one might find a woman who is “deep” or “self-aware” by my definition of the word. In fact, the whole thing just makes me despair for the state of these clever apes run amok.
At the risk of self-aggrandizement, it reminds me of how the Buddha must have felt. According to the legend, after his enlightenment, people pleaded with him to impart his wisdom to them. But he demurred for several days, thinking that people would be unable to understand what he had learned. Sometimes I feel that way… Discouraged that so many people live their lives in complete unconsciousness, slaves to their habits and unexamined patterns of thought, yet at a loss for what to do about it.
The Buddha was finally convinced to teach by Brahma, the king of the gods, who said that there were people “with little dust in their eyes” who were capable of hearing his message. Like him, I have to admit that I’ve met some people who are exceptionally self-aware. They’re very few, but those people really do make all the difference in the world, and I’m very grateful for their presence in my life.
But they’re not people who base their mating habits on compatible Nielsen ratings.
no subject
I guess if TV is *all* they do, 7-10 pm every weeknight, then yes, compatibility is somewhat important. Then again, every weeknight, I write and Tony goes to the pub, so.....hrm.....
no subject
no subject
At the same time I wouldn't base most of society on a couple of 14 year old girls either. :)
no subject
The incident took place in the heart of Boston's financial district. They appeared to me to be educated professionals, probably in the 26-30 age range, if I guessed.
Kwazy!
no subject
So what kind of woman are you looking for? I know a single woman, a bit older than I am, who doesn't watch much TV. Well, NOVA, but aside from that....
no subject
Instead, if I'm looking for anything, it's someone whose company I enjoy when we're together, and who is equally interested in me. But it's impossible to say what that translates to in terms of attributes, because nearly everything is negotiable.
I think that winds up translating mostly into a focus on companionship, rather than partnership. For me, partnership is the result of companionship, and seeking the former without a strong basis for the latter doesn't make any sense.
no subject
I have a TV, but I don't watch broadcast TV. Mostly movies and commercial free episodes of shows that come highly recommended.
Most people do lead unexamined lives, and really prefer it that way. They keep themselves distracted with shiny things so as not to have to worry about life, death and things of that nature.
no subject
Haha!
But yea, O, good point. Our society sure is shallow, for the most part, and shiny things do distract us - and there are *lots* of shiny things around.
Not to bring this up again, but while I was in Boston (ok, ok, Boston-area! :), I had found it practically impossible to find the kinds of connections both you and I are looking for. Since I've moved to Pittsburgh, I've been kind of surprised at the folks who connect with a somewhat deeper view of life. You can't always tell on the outside, and it sure can be difficult to start conversations with strangers along the lines of: "oh, hey, are you into depth and introspection?"
No idea if the cities actually have something to do with it or not - for sure, I myself have changed - but it's just an interesting observation.
But, as I mentioned earlier, I think that on-line is a decent way to connect now - and you seem to have many more social networking groups than I probably ever will (haha! :) So putting that stuff in a profile - whether it's in the context of 'dating' or just finding interesting people, can be helpful.
Now, as we've both found, some people call themselves 'deep and introspective' or all about 'personal development' and turns out they're totally deluded (diluted? yea, that too..) But at least it's a step closer, to have someone self-identify that way.
And hey, chin up - you're a totally awesome guy, a total hottie, and hey, everyone's got their issues and quirks and insecurities. Don't give up (and hey, maybe look up some people outside Boston... ??)