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Oh, Canada…
Do they just not get the message, those residents of our northern protectorate? They call their country “Canada”, but they call themselves “Canadian”. Do they not see the obvious contradiction there?
Look, there are about six dozen countries around the world whose names end with the letter ’A’.
The majority, about thirty-five of them end in “-ia” and without exception their people are referred to by words that end in “-ian”. Examples: Australia/Australian, India/Indian, Russia/Russian, Serbia/Serbian, Colombia/Colombian, Austria/Austrian… You get the picture.
Another twenty-five countries end in “-a” but not the popular “-ia”. People from those nations are all referred to by adding an ’N’ onto the end. Thus: Cuban, Jamaican, Korean, Samoan, Venezuelan, South African, and, naturally, American.
That accounts for essentially every nation in the world that ends in the letter ’A’. That’s the universal rule: if your country name ends with “-ia”, your people are “-ian”, and if your country ends in “-a” but not “-ia”, your residents are “-an”.
Oh, but not if you come from Canada, eh? They’re different, or at least backwards. They’re not “Canadan”, as by all rights they ought to be, if they understood the Queen’s English that they so proudly esteem above American English.
Oh no, they’re “Canadian”, which would only be correct if they lived in a place called “Canadia”. Canada: Canadan. Canadia: Canadian. So simple, even a Quebecois could understand! But imagine how it would sound in their national anthem: O, Canadia! Our home and native land…
Of course, two other backward nations have been even more creative than the Canucks in this regard.
The people of China are called “Chinese”. Wouldn’t it be interesting if our northern neighbors (sorry, neighbours) were “Canadese”? Kinda like a slurred pronunciation of the name of their damned birds that are a hissing, crapping plague on our parklands. Mind you, they’re not “Canadan Geese”. They’re not even “Canadian Geese”. They’re “Canada Geese”. Just like Canada Dry beverages and Canada mints and the Canada Games. Is this a third possible permutation? Perhaps we should refer to our friends as “Canada people”?
But there’s one more, still better alternative. People from Panama, in a rabid fit of panache unexpected from a tiny country not known for its creative talent, call themselves “Panamanians”. If the people of Canada had that much flair, perhaps we’d all be calling them “Canadanians”, eh?
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Everybody's a critic...
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It hurts...it hurts...
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Seriously, tho... My brother's a Canadan. My bike was fabriqué au Chicoutimi PQ. My grandpaw served his -- no, *your* country by illegally enlisting in the Canadan army in the Great War, promptly getting mustard gassed at Vimy Ridge. So I have my Canadan connections. Heck, Nova Scotia went so far as to name one of their towns "Liscomb"! How endearing!
But it's not gonna stop me from poking fun at your nation's improper use of English. Whoever decided that someone from Canada was "Canadian" went a bit too heavy on the Labatts.
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And those French call the folks who live in Paris "Parisians"... so calling someone from (a) Kanata Kanatians wouldn't be so far off the mark. :-)
(BTW, my grandfather lived in Canada for a while before finally moving here... quotas on folks from Japan made it rather easier to get here that way at the time)
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If the countries I listed as ending in -a but not -ia did the same thing as the "Canadians" do, we'd have Cubians, Jamaicians, Koreaians, Samoians, Venezuelians, South Africaians, and Americians...