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So what do you do for work?
Here’s one from the archives. Back in 1999 I was on a project where we obtained from the government a list of 30,000 occupations. My recollection was that it had been generated from what people put down on their federal income tax returns. I went through the list and selected the top 200 funniest occupations. Having dug this up for your amusement, I find myself with a whole lot of possible new directions for my job hunt!
Acid-Strength Inspector
Activated-Sludge Operator
Advertising-Display Rotator
Air Filler
AIR-HOLE DRILLER
AIRCRAFT SKIN BURNISHER
Alley Cleaner
alley tender
Animal Impersonator
antisqueak applier
apron scratcher
aqueduct-and-reservoir keeper
ART THERAPIST
ARTIFICIAL-BREEDING TECHNICIAN
artificial-insemination technician
ASSEMBLER, CORNCOB PIPES
Assembler, Toy Voices
AUTOMATIC LUMP MAKING MACHINE TENDER
automatic-fancy-machine operator
automatic-screw-machine operator
AUTOMOBILE WRECKER
Ax Sharpener
BACK WASHER
backside grinder
Bag Shaker
Banana-Ripening-Room Supervisor
Barrel Lapper
bath-house attendant
beater, head
beauty operator
beauty-operator apprentice
Beef Boner
BELLY BUILDER
BIOLOGICAL AIDE
Blind Hooker
Blow-Off Worker
BLOW-UP OPERATOR
Bologna Lacer
Bonbon-Cream Warmer
Bosom Presser
Bottom Brusher
Bottom Buffer
Bottom Burnisher
BOTTOM POLISHER
Brain Picker
Brassiere-Cup-Mold Cutter
Bread Supervisor
Breast Buffer
breeding technician
BUTT MAKER
Butt Presser
Byproducts Maker
Cabbage Salter
Candy-Bar-Core Inspector
CAR CHASER
car whacker
Carcass Assembler
Cat Chaser
caustic-liquor maker
CHICK GRADER
CHICK SEXER
Chicken Dresser
chicken fancier
Clamshell Operator II
Coffee Taster
COLORER, CITRUS FRUIT
COOK, DOG-AND-CAT FOOD
CORNER CUTTER
Creative Perfumer
CRIPPLE WORKER
dead header
Dean of Men
Death-Claim Examiner
debtor
DEBUBBLIZER
Decorative Greens Cutter
Detective, Bowling Alley
devil tender
DIANETIC COUNSELOR
Dice Spotter
Disaster Director
dope-house operator helper
Easter Bunny
Egg Smeller
FABRICATOR, ARTIFICIAL BREAST
fast-brim pouncer
FAT-PURIFICATION WORKER
FEATHER-CURLING-MACHINE OPERATOR
Finger Waver
Fish Protector
FLAVOR EXTRACTOR
Flotation Supervisor
Formula Figurer
Frog Shaker
FRUIT COORDINATOR
gang leader
Gang-Vibrator Operator
Gin Inspector
glass breaker
Grass Farmer
GREASE MAKER, HEAD
Guillotine Operator
HEAD DOFFER
head switcher
head-bone grinder
HOG-CONFINEMENT-SYSTEM MANAGER
HOGSHEAD OPENER
HOLIDAY-DETECTOR OPERATOR
hooker
HOOKER INSPECTOR
Human Projectile
impregnating helper
IRISH-MOSS GATHERER
Jawbone Breaker
King Maker
Leaf-Fat Scraper
LEGEND MAKER
Lipstick Molder
Loin Boner
LOOSE-END FINDER, BOBBIN
LUMP INSPECTOR
lump receiver
mangler
MATURITY CHECKER
Mind Reader
mogul feeder
morals-squad police officer
MORTUARY BEAUTICIAN
MOTHER REPAIRER
mud engineer
NEW-CAR GET-READY MECHANIC
NIBBLER OPERATOR
Nickel Cleaner
OFFAL ICER, POULTRY
Orange-Peel Operator II
Panty Hose-Crotch-Closing-Machine Operator
PEELED-POTATO INSPECTOR
Pepper Pickler
PICKLE PUMPER
premium-card-cancellation clerk
PRETZEL TWISTER
professional shopper
Pull-Through Hooker
pure-culture operator
Queen Producer
rapper
Red-Mud Thickener Operator
Reindeer Rancher
RESEARCH SUBJECT
ritual circumciser
road-hogger operator
Rural Sociologist
Russian Rubber
SALES AGENT, PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTS AND INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
Santa Claus
Santa's Helper
scrap picker
SCREWHEAD POLISHER
sea-foam-kiss maker
Seal Killer
Shoulder Puncher
six-pack packer
SKULL GRINDER
SLAUGHTERER, RELIGIOUS RITUAL
SLIME-PLANT OPERATOR II
Snout Puller
soiled linen distributor
Stain Maker
STEREOTYPER
streaker
subject, scientific research
SUNGLASS-CLIP ATTACHER
SUPERVISOR, ARTIFICIAL BREEDING RANCH
SUPERVISOR, CORNCOB PIPE MANUFACTURING
SUPERVISOR, LUMP ROOM
Suppository Molder
SWEET-POTATO DISINTEGRATOR
Sword Swallower
Tavern Inspector
Tea Taster
Toe Pounder
Toe Puller
Toe Stapler
Tongue Cutter
TOOTH CLERK
top flavor attendant
TOP SCREW
type caster
Unhairing-Machine Operator
UPSETTER
VALUE ENGINEER
valve lapper
Vanilla-Chocolate-Coin Counter
Vibrator Assembler
VIBRATOR-EQUIPMENT TESTER
welt maker
whipper-beater
Whiskey Filterer
White-Kid Buffer
Woven-Paper-Hat Mender